Written By Kirsten Moodie
The Advantages and Disadvantages of an Introvert Dating an Introvert
All types of relationships have both advantages and disadvantages, but figuring them out is important. Any relationship can work, whether it is opposites attracting or sharing common ground. The most important thing is to understand and accept your differences, and to appreciate the things that connect you. Here are a few pros and cons of an introvert dating another introvert.
They Alienate Themselves
While not feeling pressured to go out can be a great pro with the introvert/introvert relationship, it also can cause them to alienate themselves. Since neither person feels entirely motivated to socialize, they often convince themselves to stay inside. While this might sound like a dream come true, it is actually a bit of a disadvantage. When an introvert dates an extrovert, they have someone who will motivate them to socialize. While introverts need plenty of time by themselves, they actually can become lonely and unhappy if they are stuck inside too much. It is still important for them to socialize and challenge themselves, even if it can be a bit difficult at times.
Introverts do enjoy growth, and want to be able to better themselves. When an introvert dates another introvert, they no longer feel that urge or motivation to go out and socialize. This can often place them both in this isolated bubble, where they rarely if ever go out and see their friends. It is still important for them to go out and experience new things and take part in certain activities that they used to treasure. Two introverts rarely pressure one another, and can be easily convinced to isolate themselves. While this sort of disadvantage does not make it impossible for them to build a great relationship, it is simply a challenge they have to overcome. It is important for introverts in a relationship to find helpful ways to remain connected to the outside world. They need to find a proper balance between the time they spend socializing and the time they spend indulging in their need for alone time.
Neither Person Wants to Take Charge
Since neither person really wants to make the phone calls or take charge in social settings, it can become slightly awkward. Introverts aren’t incapable of social interaction, but sometimes they can get caught up in their own thoughts. It can be nice having someone who is willing to make the awkward phone calls, or answer the embarrassing questions. With the couple being introverts, it can create tense situations where neither one really wants to take charge. Introverts enjoy allowing other’s to put themselves in those slightly uncomfortable situations, and might hesitate. They also hesitate sometimes out of respect, and don’t want to be a dominating person.
Sometimes there will be situations where one person has to play the role of extrovert, and deciding who can be uncomfortable. One person is going to have to step up, and sometimes making the choice can be challenging. Introverts don’t enjoy stepping on other people’s toes, and dislike feeling as though they have to be the aggressive one. This can actually put pressure on the person in the couple who is a bit more outgoing, since they feel the need to be the social one in the relationship. This can become somewhat draining for the more outgoing introvert, and causes them to feel like they have to push themselves when they are also feeling overwhelmed.
They Give Each Other Space
Introverts understand and respect the need for space and plenty of time alone. It can be difficult for introverts when they are around extroverts who don’t understand their need to be by themselves. When introverts date other introverts, it can create a truly safe space to recharge and be alone. They won’t pressure each other for attention when they realize their partner just needs to be by themselves. They need plenty of space as well, and it helps them give one another this necessity.
The fact that introverts will give each other much needed alone time, is one of the most beneficial advantages to this type of relationship. While they don’t intend to, extroverts can sometimes become offended when their introvert partner needs time away from them- an introvert will understand this on a deeper level. This creates a much more comfortable relationship, without the stress and pressure to expend energy they do not have left in them. Introverted couples will often find themselves spending time in the same room, without bugging one another or sapping their energy. They will relax together and feel safe inside of their own thoughts without having to constantly speak out loud.
They Think Before They Speak
While sometimes extroverts express their thoughts outwardly, introverts aren’t quite the same way. They often think before they speak, and spend a lot of time considering their words. This is actually an advantage, because they often mean what they say to one another. Instead of saying hurtful words they do not mean, the introvert prefers to take time to consider what they truly want to express. This helps refrain from having toxic fights, where the two people in the relationship lash out without actually meaning what they are saying. Sometimes it can be a disadvantage though, if the introverts express things in a harsh way and at the same time mean exactly what they are saying.
There Is More Silence
While sometimes extroverts can enjoy a lot of noise, this is something that frustrated introverts. A great thing about introverts dating other introverts, is that silence is often readily available. Instead of having the radio or television blasting in the background, introverts enjoy the silence. They often have a natural respect for each other, and know how to employ the use of headphones when necessary. There is often plenty of quiet time, and they don’t feel the need to overload each other with unnecessary noises. This is definitely an advantage to introverts dating other introverts, and gives them a safe and comfortable space to live.
There’s Less Pressure to Go Out
Oftentimes extroverts want to go out and be social, and dislike sitting at home. Introverts in a relationship appreciate the joys of staying in together. They want to connect with their partner, and enjoy being able to spend time inside. They will come up with entertainment, but they don’t need to constantly be out and about to feel enriched. They don’t push each other to go out and attend parties, and often they prefer their nights together just ordering takeout and watching movies.
While not all introverts avoid social interaction, they often won’t pressure each other to go out all of the time. The fact that they understand each other’s need to have space, they won’t push one another. An introvert that wants to go out, will often be capable of doing this by themselves if their partner does not want to join them. They won’t be offended by this, and can often appreciate one another’s needs.
While there are cons to introvert/introvert relationships, there are also plenty of advantages. This pairing can certainly work if both people are willing to communicate and to work through any of the struggles. It all depends on the people, and how well they work together towards building their relationship.
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