The Struggles of Being An Outgoing Introvert

Being an introvert who is outgoing and social, often comes with a great deal of struggles. When you enjoy being social but also require time alone, you often get yourself into awkward situations. Here are just a few of the problems that the outgoing introvert has to deal with.

You Are So Much Fun That People Invite You To Parties You Don’t Actually Want To Attend

As a social introvert, you often enjoy being social in the moment. You are talkative and friendly towards the people around you, because you don’t want to make them feel bad about themselves. You will be chatty and enthusiastic, which is ultimately to your detriment. Almost everyone who meets you instantly likes you and because of this your inbox is often filled with hang-out invites. This sometimes causes the weekends to be filled with stress, because you have to find excellent excuses for cancelling plans. It stresses you out when you have to battle with wanting to see people, but wanting to avoid their existence all-together. You kind of wish you could have it both ways, struggling with being indecisive is frustrating as all hell.

When You DO Attend Parties You Are Probably a Blast

When you decide to go to parties, you are perfectly capable of being fun and present. You are often the life of the party and might even find yourself being the one to keep everyone entertained. You aren’t always a fan of awkward silences and you know just how to fill them. You know how to have fun like no one else, making you someone that everyone wants to have around. When you are at the party, pretty much everyone is drawn to you. You can’t help that you are an exciting person and you just know how to keep things interesting. You aren’t a fan of small-talk, which can actually draw more people sometimes. Your conversation is sincere and meaningful, somehow always making others intrigued.

You Are Tired of Being Labelled As “Anti-Social” Just Because You Need Time Alone

After these parties or social events you are exhausted. You sort of feel like a car that has been completely run out of gas, and subsequently was shoved off of a cliff. It’s that fun time that you certainly pay for in the morning, almost like having insanely spicy food. It tastes amazing while you’re in the moment, but you regret it immensely the next day. You are in desperate need of refueling, which takes completely separating yourself from the existence of human being. You need to spend some serious “you” time, in order to feel like yourself once again.

The problem with this is, that people instantly assume you are being anti-social. You were having such a great time last night, so what is wrong with you now? They just can’t seem to understand the concept of being a social introvert. These people don’t realize that you require being alone to feel like a human being again. They drained the hell out of you, and now they want MORE…fricking vampires. Calling you anti-social is entirely unfair and inaccurate. You were fun last night because you wanted to be around people, but now you just need time to be left alone. You gave them plenty of attention, now you need to be alone with your thoughts.

You Try To Avoid Most People But That Doesn’t Always Work

You have a tendency to avoid people, because they aren’t the people you want to be around. You attempt to find ways to avoid them but unfortunately that doesn’t always work. When you do run into these people, you can’t help but be social. You smile and pretend like there is nowhere else you would rather be. This of course causes those people to think you sincerely enjoy their company, and they will invite you to more social gatherings. Your enjoyable and friendly nature gets you into trouble sometimes.

Everyone Likes You But You Are Rather Picky About Your Close Circle

You actually only consider a small circle of people your true friends. We mean a really small circle of friends- like “the last of us” small. You would rather spend your time with those select few people, who you enjoy and value. You are extremely picky about the people you want to be close to. Even though you seem like you like everyone, that isn’t necessarily the case. You aren’t a fan of small-talk or people who enjoy it. You want to be around others who understand you and can give you the space you occasionally need.

You Confuse People Constantly

People are constantly trying to “figure you out”. They can’t seem to understand you fully, you are a complete enigma. Your ability to be outgoing and friendly, but then disappear for days at a time, is puzzling. They often see you as aloof and mysterious, which probably draws certain people towards you even more. They are enticed by your ability to be so much fun, but then ignore your phone for days.

You Sometimes Change Very Quickly From Fun To Completely DONE

Sometimes the moment doesn’t happen after you have gone home. Sometimes the moment when you become completely drained from all of the small-talk and social engagement, occurs in the middle of the event. You slip from fun and happy, to completely zoned out in the corner. People instantly wonder what is wrong with you, which becomes more exhausting. People asking if you are okay ultimately causes you to want to run away. You probably attempt to smile and convince them that you are just “tired”, praying that is works. No one understands that you have simply run out of social energy and need time to refill.

You Are Seriously Tired of People Believing That All Introverts Are “Shy”

We aren’t sure where this foolish idea that all introverts are shy came from, but we are pretty sure you want to ruin the person who started it. Knowing that most people believe all introverts are shy and that anyone who is outgoing is instantly an extrovert, is endlessly frustrating. People are utterly misinformed and simply do not understand what it means to be an introvert. You enjoy social engagements when you want to, you enjoy being around people and having a good time- you simple don’t enjoy being forced into these things when you are in need of alone time. You aren’t at all shy, you are completely comfortable being in social situations. You are a friendly and approachable person, who is capable of enjoying being the center of attention. The struggle lies in your social gas tank, that baby has its limits. But let’s face it, it fuels a pretty kick-ass car and people would do well to appreciate that. You just want to be understood for who you are, instead of having people suspect you of being a liar. You are both an introvert and a social person. You enjoy being around others, but you NEED your alone time. If people could accept this about you, it would make your life a lot easier.

Pro tip: Find someone who is open-minded and can understand your struggles. Also, come up with really good excuses for leaving parties early. We could probably write an article about that for you in the future.


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