ENFP Intimacy: How the ENFP Feels About Intimate Relationships
While many people long for the feelings attached to intimacy, not everyone is all that comfortable with opening themselves up and being vulnerable in the way true intimacy often requires. For some it often feels easier to remain detached, and even distant when it comes to close relationships. They would rather keep people at a bit of a distance, never feeling safe allowing themselves to be fully intimate with them. For others this is the opposite of how they live their lives, and so they are always searching for some sort of intimacy and true deep connection with the people in their lives. This can sometimes be attributed to personality types, as certain types are more drawn to the idea of intimacy than others.
For the ENFP searching out intimacy is often very important and something they deeply desire from their relationships. Even if the ENFP struggles with intimacy, it is often something they stronger want to find and have in their lives. They want to feel close to the people they love, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Sometimes it can feel like they just aren’t ever close enough, which is why they want to achieve a certain level of extreme intimacy in most of their close relationships, especially with someone they are in love with. When the ENFP falls hard for someone they want to immerse themselves in those feelings, which is why they often search for ways to become closer and more intimate with this individual.
ENFPs crave a sense of closeness with their loved ones, and really don’t like feeling distant from them. For them intimacy means feeling connected, whether they are together or apart. It means feeling fully and completely understood by this individual, and appreciating them in return. ENFPs want to be around people who validate their feelings by showing support and by not trying to push them aside. It can be hard for them to find someone to be totally open up, even though on the surface the ENFP seems totally open and outgoing. Just because they want to be able to connect with people and feel close, doesn’t make it easy for them to do so. They can be fearful of showing themselves fully to someone else, as they often feel strange or weird compared to most people. For the ENFP reaching a certain level of intimacy means feeling safe to express who they are, and knowing that their loved one will not judge or hurt them because of it. They want to be around someone who accepts every part of them, even the parts which might be scary for them to expose. Someone who comes to them when they need support as well, and who isn’t afraid of being themselves completely with the ENFP. They likely spend a lot of time searching for someone who can provide this type of intimacy with them, someone who can go far beyond the surface with the ENFP.
ENFPs are definitely strongly connected to their emotions, and feel things on a deeper level. They don’t like anything shallow and can become annoyed with small-talk or surface conversations. This is why emotional intimacy is so important for them, because they don’t like anything which doesn’t seem to really go beyond what is seen on a more shallow level. They want to achieve a certain level of emotional intimacy where they feel deeply connected to someone, and feel like their bond goes to the heart of things. This is something the ENFP often craves and is searching for, even if they don’t fully recognize this desire to find it. They can become annoyed in many of their relationships, feeling like things don’t connect the right way or never feeling like their partner truly lets them in. This is because the ENFP is likely lacking that type of emotional intimacy that they want from their relationships. They might not be sure what is missing, but they find themselves unhappy and needing to really get closer with their partner. They might complain that things just don’t feel right, and it can certainly put a strain on their relationships. What the ENFP needs is a connection which goes beyond with someone, where they can feel truly and sincerely intimate with this person. In some cases it might even be the ENFP who is hesitant to let someone all the way in, especially if they are unsure how to take that next step to true intimacy with someone they love.
What Holds Them Back
ENFPs might hold back from reaching a certain level of intimacy with someone, especially if they have been hurt before. If they have experienced a childhood filled with rejection and pain from being considered different from others, it can be hard for them to truly open up about their feelings with someone else. The ENFP might want to let someone else in and crave this type of intimacy, but that doesn’t make it easy for them to do so. When they have dealt with being rejected or abandoned the moment they show someone who they truly are, then it will become difficult to repeat this action once again. It can be truly upsetting for the ENFP, wanting to so badly to find intimacy with someone but being terrified of how they will react once they show themselves completely to that person. ENFPs often find themselves anxious over this, maybe never feeling truly fulfilled in romantic relationships because of it. It might even be easier to reach this type of intimacy with a friend before they can find a romantic partner to really go there with. They want to find someone who they can trust, someone who makes them feel safe enough to open up entirely and be themselves without reservations. ENFPs are caring people with a lot to give, and for them intimacy is something which is important when it comes to their close relationships and friendships.