ENTP Hurt Feelings: How To Deal With Emotional Wounds

Everyone has to endure getting their feelings hurt once in a while, in some instances it is more severe than others. While some people might handle this by burying those feelings and moving on, this isn’t the natural response for everyone. Being sensitive to hurt feelings isn’t something to be ashamed of, having emotions is a natural part of life. For some personality types it does seem easier to receive hurt feelings, especially from those they love. For others it seems to be harder to offend them or get underneath their skin, but that doesn’t mean it is impossible. Anyone with very human emotions is going to get hurt once in a while, whether it is from someone intentionally trying to wound or simply accidental.

When it comes to emotions or hurt feelings, ENTPs often try and put on the appearance that they are not easily hurt or offended. While ENTPs do have a thicker skin with a lot of things, that doesn’t mean they cannot get their feelings hurt, especially with someone they love and care for deeply. When they have invested themselves in a person, it can be challenging to become immune when that person does or says something which is hurtful towards them, even if this is not intentional. ENTPs might try to be logical about the situation and avoid allowing their feelings to take control, but that doesn’t magically make the hurt go away just because they are trying to prioritize rational thought.

ENTP & Hurt Feelings

When it comes to getting their feelings hurt, ENTPs often try to appear like these things don’t bother them as easily. They don’t like feeling too vulnerable and don’t want to appear like they are allowing emotions to control their behaviors. ENTPs can try to avoid being vulnerable or dealing with certain feelings simply by deflecting with humor and trying to distract people from the situation. They don’t feel as comfortable dealing with inner emotions or turmoil, instead they want to focus on things which are exciting and positive for them. ENTPs can often avoid dealing with these types of emotions, since they don’t naturally understand them quite as easily. Facts and logic is where the ENTP likes to venture, and even imagining new possibilities and theories. When it comes to inner emotions they can become uneasy and unsure how to proceed. This doesn’t mean they don’t feel things deeply, it just means it can be hard for the ENTP to filter through those emotions and understand them better. Without a logical explanation to things they don’t know how to trust and rely on this information, and so emotions become something they often try to bury or ignore.

For the ENTP that doesn’t mean they don’t get their feelings hurt, especially when it comes to people they care for deeply. They can definitely be more thick-skinned with strangers or people whose opinions don’t mean that much to them, but with someone they love this becomes tricky. When the ENTP truly lets someone in and feels a connection to them, they start to really care how this person views them and can become affected by their words much easier. This doesn’t suddenly make the ENTP sensitive to every little comment, but certain things can definitely hurt their feelings if the right chord is struck. For the ENTP it is about someone they care about saying something which affects them, or makes them doubt how that person really views them. When the ENTP feels misunderstood by someone they love, it can definitely hit them hard and hurt their feelings. The struggle is that ENTPs might play this off as if they are fine, or shoot back their own dig in a defensive way. They aren’t great at recognizing those emotions and finding ways to address them. This doesn’t mean they cannot improve on this, ENTPs love growth and believe in striving to improve the areas they don’t naturally excel at. Focusing on emotions might never be easy for them, but that doesn’t mean they cannot take time to process and work on this part of themselves. Their loved ones also need to understand that just because they don’t openly express things, doesn’t mean they don’t still feel them just like everyone else.

How to Deal

The first step towards coping with these hurt feelings or emotional hits for the ENTP, is simply addressing them and not neglecting them. Their initial response is often to deflect with humor or find some sort of distraction from those emotions, rather than trying to tend to them directly. This is simply because ENTPs don’t really feel comfortable or at ease dealing with or expressing certain emotions, especially ones which make them feel vulnerable. They prefer to focus on facts and problem solving, using their minds and imagination as a means of understanding things and people. When it comes to emotions, the ENTP can sometimes be confused by them and sees them as something which they cannot fully trust or rely on. This makes it hard for them to dive into those feelings, especially ones which make them feel uncomfortable or like they aren’t quite in control of themselves. When the ENTP starts to take notice of those emotions, and finds a more tangible way to process them, they can learn to express them better. Sometimes writing down those feelings, or finding someone who is impartial and can talk them through with the ENTP, can be helpful. 

After they have taken time to process their hurt feelings and understand where they came from, the next step is confronting the person who hurt them. This isn’t easy for the ENTP, as they can feel overly vulnerable or like they are being dramatic about the situation. They know that people are used to seeing them as factual, intellectual and imaginative people, but expressing more negative feelings isn’t their go-to means of connecting with people. The ENTP needs to learn to trust in their loved ones as well, and trust that they will be willing to hear them out and improve if they have hurt them.