Written By Kirsten Moodie
How Good Each Personality Type is at Listening
Everyone wants to be heard, but some people are simply terrible at listening. It is important to listen for the sake of the other person, and not just so that we can have a chance to respond with our own thoughts. Here is how good each personality type is at listening.
INFJs are naturally skilled listeners, especially when it comes to the people they care about most. INFJs are not the type of people who simply pretend to listen until it is their turn to speak. When an INFJ takes the time to hear what someone has to say, they open their ears fully and try to remove all other distractions. If someone they care about is in need of guidance, or simply wants someone to hear them out- the INFJ will understand the importance of this task. They hate feeling like someone is not truly listening to them when they open up, so they will not disrespect another person’s trust by listening poorly. INFJs are some of the absolute best listeners, especially since they are very empathetic people. They listen and absorb everything they are being told- and will often respond with compassion and understanding.
ENFJs are very compassionate people, who are focused strongly on tending to the emotional needs of other people. They have a natural skill for listening, and can often have very deep and meaningful conversations with people. ENFJs enjoy discussing their own point of view, but are also great at listening to others. They are good at having a conversation that connects them to the person they are speaking with, and respond with empathy and compassion. ENFJs enjoy being able to help their loved ones, and will often pay close attention to what they have to say. ENFJs rarely forget something they are told, especially if it is a very personal thing.
INFPs enjoy being able to connect with people on a deep and meaningful level. Their caring and compassion makes them truly excellent listeners. They enjoy getting to know people, especially if they are speaking with someone they feel truly close to. INFPs will take in everything their loved one has to say, and will absorb their words fully. They enjoy being able to listen, and respond with compassion and understanding. INFPs might struggle to listen if they are personally in crisis, and will be a bit too distracted by their negative emotions to listen fully. Normally INFPs are amazing listeners, and actually love when someone trusts them enough to open up to them.
ENFPs can often become distracted rather easily, and find themselves intrigued by different things at once. This can cause them to appear like they are not listening, but oftentimes they are absorbing what other people are saying. If the ENFP finds someone to be dull or obnoxious, they will definitely shut that person out and will not listen to them at all. When it comes to people the ENFP cares about, they will often be absorbing their words better than they appear to be. During arguments however, ENFPs struggle to truly pay attention to what the other person is saying. They hate disagreements, and want to find a way to deescalate the situation as quickly as possible.
INTJs can have a hard time listening if they don’t feel like there is a practical reason for them to be paying attention. If the person speaking to them has a problem that can be solved with logic and reasoning, the INTJ will likely be good at listening. They will absorb the facts and try to find the best solution- since INTJs actually do enjoy helping people if they have a problem that can be solved practically. INTJs might become distracted if they are listening to someone who is not that interesting, or who seems to be complaining about an emotional problem. The issue lies in the fact that the INTJs inner mind is often so much more intriguing than whatever the other person is blabbing about.
ENTJs can struggle to pay attention to people if they are complaining about their feelings. If someone has a problem that can be solved practically, the ENTJ will be good at paying attention. They also pay attention when it comes to work situations, and are skilled at absorbing all of the information at hand. ENTJs simply dislike listening to people who are blabbing about pointless or meaningless information. They are definitely going to pay closer attention to someone they are romantically interested in, and will often listen rather closely in hopes of impressing that person.
INTPs are surprisingly good listeners, and will often be paying attention even when it looks like they aren’t. They are observers, and are constantly aware of what is going on around them. They do not actively participate, but they definitely pay close attention. When it comes to someone the INTP cares about, they will definitely listen very closely and attempt to absorb every detail. Sometimes INTP overanalyze the words they are hearing, which can cause them to veer off in a different direction. They rarely take things at face value, which can cause them to appear like they aren’t truly listening as well as they are.
ENTPs often do not enjoy focusing on emotions, and might become easily distracted from certain conversations. If the person they are speaking with is becoming too emotional, or they are dragging on for a long time- the ENTP might find themselves diverting into a different conversation. They have the ability to listen, they just don’t always have the desire to do so. ENTP are observers, and will often retain information from someone they care for. The only problem is that ENTPs have a million different things on their mind, and can become distracted quickly.
The fact that ISTJs are often quiet and patient people, helps them to be decent listeners. They can pay attention to what someone is saying, because they aren’t always fighting for center stage themselves. They don’t mind listening to someone else, especially if that person is confiding in them. They might not always have the most ideal response, but they will certainly be able to listen. ISTJs aren’t always great at putting themselves in someone else’s shoes, but that doesn’t mean they won’t listen and try to be considerate of that person’s feelings.
ESTJs sometimes struggle to listen, because they are often focused on getting things done. They enjoy having conversations with others, but sometimes they can talk over them without meaning to. This simply happens because the ESTJ becomes excited about the conversation at hand, and doesn’t realize they are talking a bit too much. ESTJs enjoy listening to someone if they need help with a problem that can be solved practically. They might find themselves ignoring someone if they feel like that person is not being interesting, or is simply being obnoxious. ESTJs often hear what someone is saying, they just don’t always respond in a way that proves they were listening.
ISFJs are often very willing to listen to their loved ones when they are upset. They want to be able to help them, but because of this they might give more advice than the other person is actually asking for. Sometimes they listen in hopes of being able to assist someone with their problem, and will quickly try to find a solution. ISFJs care very much for others, and simply want to help them ease their sadness. ISFJs are good listeners, because they truly care and are interested in hearing what other people have to say.
ESFJs are naturally good listeners, especially when it comes to people they care deeply for. They often have people coming to them for help, since they know that the ESFJ is willing to hear what they have to say. Some people find themselves opening up to ESFJs, simply because they feel like they can trust them without being judged. ESFJs enjoy being able to help people, and will feel almost obligated to listen completely. They care very much about the well-being of other people, and understand that it is important to listen and respond with compassion and understanding. They do not just listen in hopes of being able to speak next, they listen with true interest in what the other person has to say.
ISTPs are very observant people, which can often make them great listeners. If someone is being overly emotional, or simply blabbing on about something pointless- the ISTP might struggle to actually pay attention to them. They are good at listening, when they want to be. ISTPs will find themselves completely ignoring someone if they do not want to listen to them fully. When it comes to their loved ones, or someone who they care about- the ISTP will be completely open to what they are saying. They especially are good at listening if they feel like the other person is providing an interesting topic.
ESTPs are often very verbal people, and enjoy being able to share things with their loved ones. If someone they love is upset, the ESTP will often be great at listening to them. Once the other person is done speaking though, the ESTP might come up with some sort of adventure to get them out of their current emotion. They enjoy action, and want to find a way to make other people feel better instead of dwelling on the bad emotions. ESTP often remember things that their loved ones say, and are listening even if they don’t appear to be.
ISFPs are amazing listeners, especially when it comes to their loved ones. If someone they truly care for is speaking, the ISFP will absorb every single word and hold that information close to their heart. They enjoy listening to people they find intriguing, especially if that person is sharing a part of themselves with the ISFP. They can sometimes appear distracted, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t absorbing what the other person is saying. ISFPs might struggle to listen to someone they do not feel a connecting with though, and will have a hard time paying attention.
ESFPs try very hard to listen closely when someone they love is speaking- but they are easily distracted. ESFPs will listen, but might jump quickly to a different topic without even realizing they are doing this. If someone is truly upset though, they will force themselves to pay attention. ESFPs simply cannot sit still for too long, and find they are interested in so many different things at once. This can make is hard for them to pay full attention if someone is being long winded with their conversation. ESFPs enjoy conversations that jump quickly from one topic to the next.