Written By Kirsten Moodie
How Each Personality Type Feels About Small Talk
Some people truly despise small talk and shallow conversations, while other people enjoy the simple chatter. Here is how each personality type most likely feels about small talk.
INFJs definitely dislike small talk, and might become frustrated if they are forced to participate in it for too long. Their brains are constantly running through a million thoughts and feelings at once, as well as attempting to read the other persons reactions- this can make small talk almost excruciating sometimes. INFJs prefer to have real, meaningful conversations with people who understand them. Their energy becomes depleted if they have to socialize for too long, this is especially draining if they have to spend time participating in small talk with people who do not ignite their interest in a deeper way. INFJs much prefer to spend their conversational energy discussing real matters, and things that truly spark their soul.
ENFJs certainly prefer long and deep conversations with people over small talk, but they don’t necessarily despise it. They often consider small talk to be a useful way to get to know someone. While someone is speaking about themselves, the ENFJ is skilled at reading their little reactions. ENFJs pick up on peoples emotions, and often read their physical reactions as a way to understand them better. To them small talk is an important step in getting to know someone, before things hit a much deeper level. They also understand that it is a necessary part of life, and you can’t really communicate or get along with people without participating in small talk from time to time.
INFPs are definitely not fans of small talk, and might become extremely drained by just the idea of it. They dislike conversations that appear shallow, and prefer to jump into meaningful conversations about important topics. INFPs enjoy connecting with people, and they simply do not feel like they can do that if they are simply talking about surface things. They simply do not handle superficial things very well, and to them most small talk is extremely superficial. If an INFP is spending their social energy talking to someone, they want to truly make it count for something. They want someone who sparks their soul and keeps them completely intrigued, learning about who they are as a person.
ENFPs generally prefer to live their lives filled with passion and excitement, because of this they aren’t big fans of small talk. ENFPs want to truly connect with people and enjoy having long conversations about something that is truly meaningful. They want to learn about what people are passionate about and what makes them who they are. They will often become bored with too much small talk, and would prefer someone come up with exciting and unique topics for discussion. They are great at holding conversations with people, but will often attempt to steer the topic in a direction that they feel interested in.
INTJs truly dislike small talk, and become quickly drained by meaningless conversations. They would prefer to save their social energy for discussions that truly intrigue them. INTJs can talk about theoretical ideas and various intellectual subjects for long periods of time, but will quickly become exhausted by surface conversations. They are often skilled at understanding how to communicate with people, but will attempt to find ways to end a conversation quickly if someone is boring them for too much. INTJs are simply very private individuals, who prefer spending much of their time alone inside of their own minds. To INTJs people who are long-winded are simply wasting their time, and if they point out things that are obvious they will find them completely foolish. These types of conversations just don’t sit well with INTJs, and will drain them fast.
ENTJs do not mind small talk at all, and often enjoy some relaxing chatter over coffee. After a while though, ENTJs will become drained by too much meaningless conversation. ENTJs truly enjoy theoretical and philosophical discussions, and prefer to dig deeper. They are willing to wait for these types of conversations though, since they understand that not everyone wants to partake in such communication. When they do find people who ignite their passion about various subjects, ENTJs will certainly want to hold onto those people.
INTPs certainly dislike small talk and might even feel extremely awkward when forced to participate in it. They might even find themselves memorizing responses to general small talk conversations, in order to get through these unfortunate times when they are forced into such conversations. INTPs enjoy communicating with people who will discuss real and diverse subjects, things that allow them to express the inner workings of their mind to some extent. If someone can come up with interesting topics, the INTP will be more than capable of holding a conversation that is both entertaining and stimulating.
ENTPs are charismatic individuals, with a knack for conversation. They are often very good at making small talk with people, and are naturally charming. Even though ENTPs are skilled at small talk, they do become rather bored with meaningless conversations. ENTPs prefer to have intense debates about various subjects and ideas that excite them. They want to really dig deep into the conversation and learn more about how the other person thinks and processes. ENTPs enjoy spirited debates, because it helps them come to new conclusions and deeper understandings of different subjects.
ISFJs are extremely aware of social norms and often have a clear idea of how to participate in small talk. They know the general things that should be said, and can often do this without much effort. It does however become exhausting for ISFJs after a while, since they do need their alone time. ISFJs will often drain themselves in order to please others, and small talk definitely does this for them. At first they might see it as a nice way to get to know someone, but after a while they prefer to hear more about that person. ISFJs want to know what someone’s hopes and dreams are, and prefer to find ways to understand their loved ones deepest desires.
ESFJs have a conscious idea of how to participate in small talk, and are often good at communicating well with people. They are very aware of others, which makes them good at holding onto a conversation. They might not fully enjoy small talk, since they prefer to be more capable of tending to the emotional needs of others. ESFJs prefer conversations where they can provide others with support or possibly helpful advice. They will be willing to hold these small talk conversations, but much prefer something with more depth to it.
ISTJs often understand that small talk is a necessary part of life, and is needed in order to advance. They will often memorize different small talk responses, and are good at keeping up with these conversations. ISTJs are often very to the point with their communication, and will respond to be with precise comments. They might not enjoy too much conversation, since ISTJs are very introverted individuals. They often enjoy sitting in silence with the ones they love, reading a book or possibly watching a TV show.
ESTJs are often great at small talk, especially since they are charismatic and outgoing individuals. They understand that having these conversations are important in order to advance in life. ESTJs can often go on about smaller details in their lives, and will enjoy discussing things like the weather or the news. They do not mind small talk, and might even find it enjoyable. ESTJs are social creatures, and become energizes when they are capable of having conversations with many people.
ISTPs are extremely introverted individuals, which often means any long conversations can be draining for them. They prefer to discuss things that interest and intrigue them, especially when they are talking to people they enjoy being around. When ISTPs are stuck in conversations filled with meaningless and shallow topics, they will often become exhausted by this. They will often find ways to avoid this type of conversation, and will feel extremely awkward when they are stuck in it.
ESTPs often do not mind small talk, especially since they are very social people. They enjoy having long discussions, whether it is about something deep or something shallow. ESTPs enjoy being around people, and are often capable of making any situation entertaining in some way. They simply want to make life an adventure, and are great at enjoying the present moment. ESTPs go from wanting to have small talk conversations to keep them entertained, to wanting to have in depth discussions about their thoughts and desires.
ISFPs will rarely initiate small talk with people, but they definitely are not against it. They are kind individuals, and often enjoy learning more about others. ISFPs prefer to separate the depth of their conversations based on how close they are to another individual. When ISFPs do not know someone personally, they will prefer to only discuss more shallow topics with them. When they are extremely close and connected to someone, ISFPs would prefer to get down to more intense and meaningful subjects.
ESFPs often enjoy small talk, and might even strike up random conversations with strangers. They are extremely social individuals, and truly enjoy being around others. ESFPs do not become bored by small talk, and almost always have something new to discuss. They enjoy communicating with people, whether it is someone that they love or someone that they have just met. Because of this charismatic and social personality, ESFPs definitely do not dislike participating in small talk.