ENFP Energy Vampire & Dealing with the Energy Vampire

Being around an energy vampire can be one of the most emotionally and mentally exhausting experiences. They have a way of sucking all the air out of the room, even if they aren’t being obvious about it. Energy vampires have a way of making the situation about them, and playing the victim is their specialty. They are great at getting sympathy from others, and some people are very susceptible to this type of behavior. The more empathetic or caring someone is, the more they become a target to the energy vampire. These people take from those around them without ever giving in return, which is something that becomes very draining after a while, even for the most giving of people.

When it comes to dealing with people ENFPs are outgoing and friendly, and so most don’t realize that they do need some time alone as well. They have so much going on inside of their inner minds, that sometimes they need distance to process all of this. Just because ENFPs enjoy being around people and need to interact with them, doesn’t mean they cannot be drained and brought down by the energy vampire. They still want to be around certain people who actually energize them and make them feel excited about the conversation. People who are exhausted and draining actually drag the ENFP down rather quickly.

ENFPs and Energy Vampires

ENFPs like to interact with people and enjoy getting to know new friends, this can be a cause for the energy vampire to seek them out. They do sometimes draw attention to themselves, and they want to be friendly and welcoming. ENFPs don’t always know how to distance themselves, since they don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Being someone who is sensitive to others can be exactly what causes the energy vampire to latch onto the ENFP. They won’t want to be mean to this person, but they find themselves exhausted every time they are around them. They might be able to put up with it for a short time, but they find themselves feeling drained and wanting to find some sort of easy escape to avoid this individual. They might try to find some sort of excuse or means of getting away, in hopes of avoiding this person without making it too obvious they are doing so. Being social doesn’t mean that the ENFP has an unlimited supply of energy, especially around a certain type of person which just drains them. It can be hard for ENFPs because they want to see the good in people and remain upbeat about it, but sometimes it is just too difficult when they are around someone who is a complete energy drain.

ENFPs like to remain positive and not deal with people who constantly try to weigh them down, and so someone who is an energy vampire often has a tendency to do just that. They might focus on playing the victim or trying to make others feel bad for them, and for the ENFP this is frustrating. They care and feel guilty if they don’t show that they feel bad, but they don’t want to be around this type of negativity. It often makes them feel like they are just trying to appease the other person, so that they don’t become upset with them. ENFPs when they are younger struggle with this more, because they don’t want people to dislike them. They feel bad if they do something which hurts someone else, and so they might withstand the exhausting energy around them. It can be hard for them to figure out boundaries when they are younger, not wanting to upset people or push them away. Even when the ENFP is around someone who is exhausting like this, it can take a while before they snap and just can’t deal with it any longer.

The ENFP Energy Vampire

Some people are energy vampires to just about everyone around them, and this can often come from certain bottled up feelings or traumas they are repressing. This means that any personality type can be an energy vampire, and that it doesn’t connect with type at all. For the ENFP energy vampire it is often because they have tried to repress something which has been bothering them, in hopes of remaining positive. This causes them to manipulate in hopes of getting the attention they need from others, latching onto people who are willing to give into them. They can be rather demanding, wanting to search out ways to keep people close so that they can feel rewarded by their presence. They likely have no idea that they are draining and exhausting those around them, and are simply searching for ways to feel better and not so alone. 

How to Handle Them

The most important thing for the ENFP is to recognize when someone is an energy vampire and saps their energy quickly. When they realize this, they need to start to set boundaries with this person. This can be challenging at first, as they don’t like doing anything which upsets people or makes it seem like they are distancing themselves. It is important for their own well-being and mental health, and so they need to learn how to calmly and rationally place those boundaries and let this person know that they need their space. Their desire to make other people happy or make them smile, can be exactly what causes the ENFP to become caught up with an energy vampire. They notice that this person is struggling and they want to make them feel better, but this will be an unending task which leaves them feeling emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted each and every time. For ENFPs setting these boundaries and recognizing that they cannot save people, is a difficult but important step. Wanting to help is a good thing, so maybe even discussing this with the person who is draining them, can help that person recognize their own behavior as well. But the ENFP cannot blame themselves if this other person is not receptive to their honesty.