Written By Kirsten Moodie
Here’s How Each Personality Type Feels About Intimacy
While some people crave true intimacy with another person, there are others who are fearful of it. It can be frightening to be so completely vulnerable with someone, but is also very rewarding. Here is how each personality type feels about intimacy.
For INFJs intimacy is something they take very seriously, and it does not come naturally. They are very guarded people, who do not want to let just anyone into their hearts. INFJs naturally care about everyone, but they don’t feel comfortable letting them in. They can be hesitant about certain kinds of intimacy, even though deep down they crave it. INFJs simply want to find the right people, who they can trust completely. This is why INFJs often take sex very seriously, because they only want to share that level of intimacy with someone they deem worthy. For INFJs intimacy is important, and fully welcomed with the right person.
ENFJs are comfortable with intimacy, and enjoy being able to connect with people. They rarely have intimacy troubles, since they want to feel connected. ENFJs hate feeling separated from the people they love, and can become very upset if this happens. For the ENFJ intimacy is an important part of any relationship, and is necessary to feel loved and appreciated. They want to feel as close as they can to the people they value in their lives, and enjoy being able to bond with them. ENFJs take their connections seriously, and value being able to draw near to someone.
INFPs truly crave intimacy, and desire to feel connected to the people they love. INFPs don’t feel comfortable opening up to just anyone though, and are often searching for the right person. They love feeling completely intimate with someone, and enjoy being able to feel their souls connecting in a deep and meaningful way. INFPs do not want to feel detached from the people they love, and only want to have real connections in their lives. Without true intimacy in their relationships the INFP will feel like they are completely pointless.
ENFPs crave intimacy, but they can be hesitant when it comes to finding it with the right person. They are open people, which can cause them to get hurt very easily in their younger years. This might cause the ENFP to be fearful of getting hurt again in the future, making them more closed off than they want to be. ENFPs may fear this kind of intimacy again, since it means truly connecting and opening up to someone. At the same time the ENFP desires to find this level of intimacy, and will continue to search for the right person to connect with on a deeper level.
INTJs can be hesitant when it comes to intimacy, and do not easily open themselves up to others. They do not want to be intimate with someone who simply does not deserve to see this side of them. INTJs are independent people, who dislike feeling too exposed to someone else. They often avoid connections in life, until they find someone they feel truly bonded with. INTJs are willing to wait for the right person to come along, before they feel comfortable being intimate with them. It can take a while before the INTJ feels ready for true intimacy, but it is a truly special thing to wait for.
ENTJs are outgoing and friendly people, but they can be a bit averse to intimacy. They don’t feel comfortable opening up to just anyone, and need time to feel like things are right. ENTJs are very independent people, who prefer to keep their personal information to themselves most of the time. Being truly intimate with someone can be a bit nerve-wracking for ENTJs, partially because they value loyalty so very much. ENTJs do not want to open themselves up to someone in a truly intimate way, without being sure they can trust that individual.
INTPs can be a bit fearful of intimacy, especially since they are guarded people. They do crave being able to connect with someone, but rarely feel understood enough to open up completely. INTPs desire a certain level of intimacy, but at the same time they value their sense of independence. They don’t want to feel completely intimate with someone, only to have it tossed in their face later one. INTPs do not like to be made a fool of, which can make intimacy a difficult thing for them. Feeling so exposed and connected to someone, can be a bit frightening for the INTP.
ENTPs do crave passion in their lives, which also means they desire to reach a certain level of intimacy. They might be hesitant to completely open themselves up to someone though, and will be patient in order to find the right connection. ENTPs truly do crave intimacy in their lives, and want to feel that sort of affection with someone truly special. They enjoy anything that ignites excitement and passion in them, which often means intimacy is just another thing on the list. They want to live life to the fullest, and do not want to be held back by fears- making ENTPs truly intrigued by the intimacy.
ISTJs are very independent people, who enjoy having space. They can be a bit uncomfortable with too much intimacy in their lives, and prefer to keep more to themselves. ISTJs do value their relationships, they just don’t want to feel too overwhelmed. They can sometimes be nervous about the idea of too much intimacy, and prefer to keep things more distant. Even though ISTJs care for their loved ones, the idea of being that connected can make them a bit nervous. They are committed people, they simply because a bit overwhelmed by emotions and prefer practical ideas.
ESTJs are committed and giving people, who prefer to focus on practical things. Their pragmatic nature can cause the ESTJ to be a bit hesitant when it comes to emotions. They often show that they care by trying to tend to the needs of others, but struggle when it comes to being emotionally supportive. ESTJs try to find ways to care for others, they simply are not the best at expressing themselves. They can be a bit fearful of intimacy, since it is largely tied to emotional reactions. ESTJs do want to feel close to their loved ones though, and might be able to overcome these intimacy fears over time.
ISFJs are practical and loving people, who strive to always care for their loved ones. They do want to feel connected to the people they love, and because of this they crave a certain level of intimacy. ISFJs can feel overwhelmed with too much intimacy though, and enjoy having a nice balance in their lives. They want to feel that closeness with the people they love, but at the same time they need plenty of space to themselves. ISFJs have a constant desire to care for others, but they can be a bit hesitant when it comes to sharing their own emotions.
ESFJs are compassionate and loving people, who want to feel close to their loved ones. They do crave intimacy, but can sometimes be a bit afraid of it. ESFJs want to feel loved and share love with those closest to them, and will do whatever it takes to make others happy. They do become a bit anxious when it comes time to put themselves in a vulnerable position, which is what can cause them to be hesitant when it comes to intimacy. ESFJs will work to overcome this though, because they their main priority is connected with the people they love.
ISTPs are definitely adventurous people, who enjoy having their own independence. They are much more focused on logic than they are emotions, which can make them a bit nervous about the idea of intimacy. Feeling so open and connected to others, can be a bit frightening for ISTPs. They don’t want to feel smothered by others, and enjoy having plenty of space to themselves. As the ISTP gets older they might begin to crave more intimate connections with people, but it will take time to find the right person.
ESTPs enjoy connecting with their loved ones, but can be a bit anxious when it comes to intimacy. They can often become uncomfortable if they feel like they are being smothered by emotions. Too much intimacy causes the ESTP to feel overwhelmed and exposed. They enjoy receiving attention and affection from others, but might be hesitant when it comes to true intimacy. Learning to be this vulnerable is something that takes the ESTP time to understand and develop within themselves.
ISFPs absolutely crave intimacy, but can have a hard time finding what they are looking for. They do not want to settle with just anyone, and are constantly searching for the right person. ISFPs want to feel deeply connected with their loved ones, and believe in sharing themselves completely. When the ISFP does find people they can be intimate with, they value this very much. They do not enjoy shallow bonds, and want to feel truly connected on a deep level.
ESFPs are fun-loving people, who enjoy living life in the present moment. This desire to bounce from one exciting thing to the next, can cause the ESFP to miss out on true intimacy. They enjoy feeling connected to people, and definitely love receiving attention. When it comes to intimacy though, ESFPs can be a bit nervous about the idea of being this exposed. They can be open people, but aren’t always sure how to connect with someone on a truly intimate level. This is something that requires the ESFP to find someone truly special, who can bond with them in this way.
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