INTP Flirting & Dating: How to Attract an INTP

Everyone approached romantic relationships in different ways, for some it isn’t the easiest process to open up to someone. INTPs do struggle with feeling open and affectionate in relationships, but that doesn’t mean they are incapable of this or that they don’t want a little romance in their lives. It is important to know more about how someone gives and receives love, in order to connect better with their needs and boundaries. For the INTP flirting and dating can be a sometimes unnerving process, since they don’t like the expectations of others. Here are some important things to know about the INTP and dating, as well as what they are often most drawn to.

INTP Flirting

INTPs can sometimes feel a bit awkward when they are trying to flirt with someone, but that doesn’t mean they are necessarily bad at it. Some INTPs learn to use their other functions and to combine them in order to help them process their affections towards someone. When the INTP does flirt they often try to be more playful towards someone, even a bit teasing. Sometimes this teasing can be sweet, while if they take it too far it can be quite the opposite. It certainly depends on the INTP and their ability to respond to others and read their boundaries. When they are more developed in their functions and more mature, the INTP can be a witty and playful flirt. 

They don’t always feel the desire to flirt with others, often avoiding this unless they really like someone and want them to know this. When the INTP takes a serious interest in someone they do often need to have the other person make the first move in some ways. They might not need them to make the obvious advances, but they do want some sort of signal that this person is interested. When the INTP sees this they can often try their best to start flirting back, using a bit of humor and playfulness as a means of keeping someone interested and showing they like them as well.

Simply pegging the INTP as a naturally awkward flirt isn’t entirely accurate and does depend on the INTP. The idea of flirting can make them anxious sometimes, but that doesn’t make them completely afraid of it. They just don’t like doing anything which feels forced, and so sometimes their intelligence can be what they use in hopes of drawing someone in. Being witty and challenging someone a bit, is often the way they show they like that person.

INTP In a Relationship

When it comes to relationships INTPs can sometimes have a hard time expressing themselves, even if they want to. They might sometimes be seen as someone who is indifferent and doesn’t want romance, but that isn’t true at all. This isn’t something determined by personality type, since many INTPs do truly want a romantic connection. They might not be great at communicating or finding the right words to fully express their inner emotions. For the INTP this is often the greatest struggle in a relationship, since they actually do care deeply for the people they have close to them.

That isn’t to say that INTPs do not possess a romantic side to them, many INTPs can be rather romantic inside but might not find it easy to express this. They care about their partner and want to make them feel special, and so sometimes the best way to do this is my trying to solve their problems. They are almost always thinking about the person they are with when they truly care for this person and are happy with them. When they are connected to someone in this way the INTP may not express it verbally, but they truly want to be there for that person in any way possible. They can have rather romantic hearts, wanting to be capable of connecting and finding someone they can really share themselves with completely. Sometimes what is inside the INTPs heart is far deeper and more complex than people realize, simply because they don’t really know how to find the words to express these feelings and thoughts. 

In a relationship the INTP is often very supportive and great at finding ways to improve this person’s well-being. They show they care by accepting this person and sharing their time with them. Spending quality time with someone is a huge way most INTPs show their affection, since otherwise they would prefer to be alone. Wanting to have this person near them even if their minds are focusing on something else, is actually really important for the INTP.

Casual Dating

INTPs may partake in casual dating just to experience this process and understand it more. This doesn’t mean they feel all that rewarded or fulfilled by it. There are times when the INTP dives into something just because they want to see themselves in different ways, but usually for them casual dating is really more exhausting than anything else. Having to go out on these dates and not be searching for something meaningful, feels like a waste of time and energy. The INTP might not even realize why they feel so unfulfilled by these experiences, trying their best to make it work and feel like they are fitting into expectations. Ultimately the INTP doesn’t do well wasting their time on social interactions which won’t yield something real and lasting.

What Attracts the INTP

INTPs like to keep things interesting which means they really do want a partner who is willing to grow. They want someone who is capable of experiencing new things and not just remaining stagnant. They are often attracted to people who are very passionate and this type of excitement for things can be inspiring for the INTP. Someone who is eager to live their lives to the fullest, and who has an intelligent way of approaching these goals. They can be more attracted to someone who is outgoing and fun, even if they don’t naturally want to search for this type of person. It can seem intimidating at first but INTPs do find themselves drawn to people who are different than them, and who have a way of being charming and adventurous.

INTPs don’t usually become all that intrigued by people who bore them or who don’t have a lot of exciting ideas and thoughts to offer. Someone who challenges them and who has a unique approach to life, is going to be exciting for the INTP. They do often become attracted to people who confuse them, someone who isn’t what they expect. This is because INTPs do find themselves bored easily and so they want someone who can really make them feel inspired and keep them guessing.

One of the most important qualities for the INTP when it comes to serious relationships, is someone who is honest and completely accepts them. They want someone they can be themselves around without feeling judged or constantly misunderstood. INTPs are often used to feeling misunderstood by people, and they really don’t want to experience this with their romantic partner. Having someone who cares to understand and listen to the INTP, is truly meaningful for them.

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