INTJ Brother or Sister: What INTJs are Like as a Sibling

When it comes to being a sibling there are certain ups and downs even in the best of relationships. Some people are naturally better at drawing close to their siblings, and don’t have this desire to fight with them all of the time. For most people, sibling rivalry is a very real thing, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t still love and care for them deeply. There is a very unique bond between siblings, one which can be deeply meaningful and rewarding. Of course not everyone has the same connection with their siblings, but there are certain personality traits which might make it easier for people to communicate with their brothers or sisters. 

When it comes to their sibling relationships the INTJ does value these very much, but there are things which change depending on the situation. If they have a strained relationship with their siblings the INTJ isn’t incapable of disconnected, especially if they constantly feel used and mistreated. When they have siblings who respect them then the INTJ takes this bond seriously and will nurture it for years to come. INTJs do value family and loyalty more than people often realize, they just don’t express these things in sentimental or emotional ways.

The Good

When it comes to their loved ones INTJs are fiercely loyal and will stand by them no matter what. The INTJ will be honest when they disagree with their siblings life choices, but they won’t simply give up on them because of it. They don’t abandon someone who is trying their best and who always respects and appreciates the INTJ. When they have loyalty from someone they love, the INTJ will give this back 10 fold. They will be there when their sibling needs them and do their best to help them achieve their goals. When the INTJ cares for someone they are very good at helping them solve problems. Especially if this person is receptive to their help. The INTJ is often great at finding ways to help their siblings grow and achieve all of the things they want most out of life. Their ability to problem solve and see the most strategic path helps the INTJ to really be someone who can assist those around them. They can come up with plans and useful tools to help their siblings grow and become everything they want to be. They are willing to invest this time into those they love, especially people who are receptive to it.

INTJs are actually good listeners, so long as their siblings are blabbering on about something pointless. But if they are sharing real concerns in a calm manner and just want someone to hear them, the INTJ is great at this. They might want to give advice but they also know how to respect clear boundaries when they are laid out in front of them. When their siblings express a personal need and boundary they don’t want crossed, the INTJ knows how to follow these guidelines with a sense of directness and respect. They also know how to give proper space when someone needs this, and will not be likely to overwhelm their siblings when they are in need of some time to themselves. INTJs are very good at following rules which makes sense to them and are expressed with a sense of clarity and precision. This can certainly be a positive things as siblings, since they are unlikely to be messy or invade personal space.

The Bad

INTJs are naturally very direct people who don’t have much patience for catering to people’s emotions. While their honesty is an admirable trait, it can be challenging for their siblings and loved ones at times. This can cause the INTJ to be a bit harsh when they are expressing the facts of a situation, especially since they aren’t naturally in tune with the emotions of others. While this directness often gets things done and makes the INTJ more efficient, it can be hurtful to their siblings without meaning to be. This is something which can be challenging at times, especially if their siblings are more sensitive than the INTJ understands.

INTJs can also be particular about how they like things done, which makes them a bit impatient at times. When their siblings aren’t the most organized people, the INTJ might find themselves becoming frustrated with their behavior. They will become especially annoyed by siblings who are messy and cannot seem to keep things in their own personal space. While INTJs don’t intend to be bossy, they can sometimes come across this way when they are focused on getting something done. Their desire to be efficient can become a bit stressful for those closest to them, especially siblings who really just want to do things their own way. 


INTJs prefer honest and upfront communication, and do better when their siblings are direct with them. When someone is upset with the INTJ, they need that person to express this clearly and without being overly emotional. Hearing the clear facts of the situation helps the INTJ to figure out the best solutions and try to come to some sort of conclusions with what is going on. They want to be able to make their relationships work, they just aren’t the most emotionally expressive people. Having people around them who can be direct and honest with the INTJ, really helps them communicate things more clearly as well.

How to Improve

INTJs do sometimes need to take a step back and be a bit more patient, especially if they have siblings who are more emotional than logical. While this type of person can be difficult for the INTJ to understand, they will benefit from giving them some room to be themselves without pressure. INTJs can also do better with their siblings if they learn to accept their emotions, and be a little more expressive with their own when they can be.

Read More About the INTJ:

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