INFJ Girlfriend: How to Understand Your INFJ Partner

INFJs are complex people, and being the rarest personality type can make them difficult for others to understand. The INFJ as a girlfriend is compassionate and giving, but there is so much more to them than just this. When it comes to relationships the INFJ has many layers which are important for their partner to be patient with, especially if they want to get even closer. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and these certainly come to play with romantic connections. For the person falling for the INFJ, it is useful to learn about what makes them the way they are and about what they truly need out of their relationship.

The Onion Thing is True

It is often said that INFJs have many layers to their personality, and this is entirely true. This does also happen in romantic relationships, which can sometimes be confusing for a partner who expect to know it all upfront. The INFJ girlfriend might have shared a lot with their partner, but there are pieces which they might struggle to express right away. Even when they care for someone it can take a long time for the INFJ to completely open up. It isn’t that they are hiding things, they just have a hard time allowing themselves to be completely vulnerable with someone. For the INFJ this can be a long process, and so they need someone who is willing to be supportive and patient with them. The INFJ girlfriend often wants to share these inner thoughts and layers with their partner, they just need time in order to do this. It isn’t something which happens right away and so having someone who understands this and wants to peel back those layers, is definitely appreciated.

While INFJs might have layers this doesn’t mean they aren’t willing to share themselves with their significant other. For the INFJ girlfriend it is about having someone who makes them feel safe enough to share the weirder parts of themselves. They might have felt misunderstood throughout their lives, which is understandable coming from such a rare personality type. Being that they have likely felt misunderstood or even judged throughout their lives, the INFJ wants to be sure they won’t experience this rejection with their significant other. When they do feel safe they can share so much of themselves and can even pull their partner into their own little world with them. It is a special experience being that close to and connected with an INFJ personality, and so it is certainly worth the patience and care it takes to earn their trust.

They Are Compassionate But Not Always Soft 

The INFJ girlfriend can be misunderstood since they are complex people, who are both compassionate but also logical at the same time. While they are warm and loving partners, they have times when they aren’t all that soft-spoken or gentle. When the INFJ is focused on something or when they are distracted by their own thoughts, they might not appear completely soft. They also aren’t the most timid people, even if this is what people expect from them. This can cause them to be misunderstood, since on the outside they might not appear as loving and warm as they actually are on the inside. INFJs just aren’t naturally caught up in over the top confessions of their feelings, even though they are capable of listening for hours when their partner is in need of a shoulder. They are warm people who can certainly find the right words to say in order to comfort someone, but can be hesitant when it comes to expressing their own feelings. They are more focused on the emotions of those around them, which is part of why the INFJ girlfriend might not be all that great at sharing their own inner emotions. It isn’t because they don’t care or don’t feel all of those romantic emotions towards their partner, they just don’t find it easy to express this verbally.

They Want Closeness, But Need Time Alone

The INFJ girlfriend is not likely to be needy or constantly want to be with their significant other. While they want to feel close to the person they love, they also need a lot of time alone. This is something which can be confusing to some people, especially those who don’t fully understand their introverted nature. There are plenty of stereotypes which make it appear like a girlfriend should be emotional and expressive, and constantly wants to be clinging to their partner. This is something which is entirely untrue of the INFJ, as they really need time alone and space to themselves. While they want to feel an emotional closeness and connection to their loved ones, that doesn’t mean they want to constantly be following them around. When the INFJ is in a relationship they want to feel connected to that person, but they don’t want to smother them or be smothered by them. Without time alone to recharge the INFJ becomes emotionally and mentally exhausted, and so this is something they really need their partner to understand fully.

Be Honest

INFJs are acutely aware of the emotions and intentions of those around them, which is why honesty is so vital for them. They can sense when someone is being dishonest, and this is likely to ruin the relationship the more it occurs. They need someone who is sincere and upfront with them, and who does not attempt to intentionally deceive the INFJ. This can be frustrating for the INFJ as well, since they can sense when their partner isn’t being honest and can also sense when something is bothering them. They want to help and actually care about making them happy, but they need someone who is willing to be open with them about what is going on. For the INFJ it is important to have a partner who won’t lie to them, and who understands how important this is to their relationship.

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