ENFJ Guide to Happiness: How to Find Joy as an ENFJ

Most people seem to be searching for happiness, whether it is on a larger scale or in small meaningful ways. Finding a sense of joy in life can be challenging for most people, especially when they don’t necessarily feel understood by the outside world. While the majority of people are often searching for ways to make themselves happy and find a sense of joy in their lives, this can be something which they struggle with if they don’t figure out the keys to what makes them feel fulfilled. Sometimes knowing one’s personality type can aid in this search for joy, and knowing the specific needs and desires which will make someone feel like they are being valued and rewarded in their daily lives.

ENFJs spend a lot of time and energy invested in other people, and so sometimes finding their own happiness can be a challenge. Being someone who is constantly focused on others can become draining, even though the ENFJ does this from a place of caring. They can expend so much energy trying to help people that they neglect their own needs, and this isn’t likely to make them happy. For the ENFJ to find true happiness or contentment, they definitely need to learn to focus on their own needs as well. It can certainly be a challenge for them, maybe more so than some other personality types. The ENFJ likely always behaves as if they are happy or content, when they might be struggling with this internally.

Feeling Appreciated

For the ENFJ finding people who actually show them appreciation is pretty important. While they do need to find a sense of personal appreciation, they also need it from those around them. ENFJs can sometimes get caught up with people who take their actions for granted, and don’t really show enough appreciation. Learning to set boundaries and express what they need really is important for the ENFJ to be happy in their relationships. The more they recognize their own needs the more the ENFJ can express them to those they love. They need people who can show appreciation for what the ENFJ does, or else they won’t feel truly satisfied in their relationships. 

It is important for the ENFJ to take time to appreciate themselves as well, and to recognize how much they do. Without this they can become drained and are constantly looking to others for this type of validation. If they set aside time to focus on themselves and really give themselves credit for what they do, this can help them regain a sense of inner confidence. Knowing that they do a lot and not being so hard on themselves is going to help the ENFJ be more at ease. They can be perfectionists, but sometimes this causes them to only see their own mistakes and not appreciate what they accomplish.

Recognizing Self-Care

Self-care can be a real struggle for ENFJs, since they spend so much time caring for others. It is important for them to take time for themselves and to actually recharge their own batteries. This is something they need to learn over time, especially if they want to be happy or content in their lives. The ENFJ who continuously helps others without taking time to care for themselves, is going to be drained and often rather unhappy. They can focus so much on caring for others that they don’t even fully realize this is making them unhappy. ENFJs put up this happy face all of the time, not wanting to be a burden or make others feel bad. Without taking time for themselves this can start to become draining rather quickly. The ENFJ needs to take a step back sometimes and realize when they are not properly tending to their own needs. They can even neglect their physical needs, pushing too hard and not taking care of themselves. This something they often need to work on and even start to form habits of self-care in order to keep up with it. It might not be easy at first, but the more they start to care for themselves the more their relationships will thrive as well.

Knowing What They Want

ENFJs can become so focused on what other people want that they don’t take the time to understand their own inner desires. In order to be truly content they need to really uncover what matters most to them, and their own personal goals as well. When the ENFJ does take the time to figure out what they need and want, they become much happier with themselves and those around them. It can be hard at first since they feel as if they are being selfish when they burden others with their own feelings or wants. It can also be hard to see the reactions of those close to them, as some people might not handle it well when the ENFJ starts to focus on themselves. It is important for them to recognize that the people who truly care will understand and won’t make them feel bad for having needs.

Removing that sense of personal guilt is something which can be hard for the ENFJ but is important to them as well. They often feel like they have to be everything to everyone, and this leaves little time for themselves. While being a giving person is important and still part of who the ENFJ is, they need to also give to themselves. Without taking time for their own needs and figuring out what they truly want, they will find that even their close relationships start to suffer. Setting boundaries is not always easy, but it is an important step in growing and becoming a happier person. The more they start to respect themselves the more they find that the people around them return this appreciation as well. For the ENFJ to set boundaries and recognize their own needs, they will find that they feel more at ease with themselves and others.


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