ENFJ Anxiety: Dealing with the Many Forms of Anxiety
Anxiety is something most people deal with to some extent, but some people can be more prone to anxious feelings or behaviors. There is some correlation to personality types and anxiety and even to anxiety disorders. Sometimes this is simply because of their overactive minds and the way their natural functions process the world around them. For some people anxiety can simply be a temporary response to the stress around them, or from negative habits which have pushed them in this direction. Of course there are also times when this is an actual clinical anxiety which needs to be treated by others means like medication and seeking help from a licensed therapist. With anything there are often many ways to seek help, and it is important to take the appropriate steps to rectify the situation.
While ENFJs are often seen as strong-willed and positive people, that doesn’t mean they cannot suffer from anxiety. ENFJs are often great at putting on a happy face and can hide the things they are going through from the people around them. They do this because they don’t want to upset people, but this can put more pressure on the ENFJ to live up to their own standards and expectations. They don’t want to let anyone down, but hiding their anxiety or depression can actually make these things worse. For the ENFJ sometimes burying their feelings comes more naturally, which is why it is important to understand themselves better so that they can find useful tools to cope with their anxiety.
The Perfectionist ENFJ
ENFJs are perfectionists and this is something which can put a lot of pressure on them. Because of their desire to get everything right, they can certainly deal with anxiety throughout their lives. They obsess over being perfect for the people they love and care for, and this is something which can start to wear them down after a while. If something isn’t going smoothly the ENFJ will push themselves to fix whatever problems they are experiencing. Instead of cutting themselves some slack when they make mistakes, the ENFJ is likely to push themselves even harder in these situations. They try to solve the problems of everyone around them and pick up the pieces when a loved one needs help. They don’t like accepting failure and this desire to be perfect is a cause for anxiety. ENFJs can be rather stressed without anyone noticing that they are, since they intentionally try to hide this from others. They don’t want anyone to realize they are struggling with anxiety, because they want to be viewed as having it all together and not really needing help from others. ENFJs don’t do this to be dishonest, they just don’t want to let anyone down. They want to be able to be the person that everyone else leans on, and so they don’t want their own anxiety or struggles to be a burden for anyone.
Lack of Self-Care
A serious problem for ENFJs is that they tend to focus so much energy on everyone else, that they forget to take care of themselves. Self-care is often something they struggle with and this can cause serious anxiety over time. It is always important to take care of ourselves and focus on physical and mental health, and these boundaries can be difficult for some people to deal with. For ENFJs self-care isn’t something they naturally know how to focus on, and are more likely to pour their heart into helping everyone else around them. While they are very capable people who often know how to solve the problems of their loved ones, they can really exhaust themselves from pushing too hard. Spending all of their time taking care of and healing everyone else and forgetting to take care of themselves, will leave the ENFJ feeling very drained and even anxious. This is something which can be a cause for anxiety and high levels of stress in the ENFJ personality type. They push themselves so hard and forget to tend to their personal needs, often neglecting their own emotions until they are forced to pay attention to them. This is why they can easily ignore their anxiety for a while, trying to pretend like they are fine in hopes of caring for everyone else. Like anything this will start to build up after a while, until the ENFJ feels alienated and unappreciated by their loved ones for not fully noticing their struggles.
The ENFJ who deals with social anxiety often does so because they are worried about how people will perceive them. This can happen when they get into a habit of keeping their distance from social settings and events. When the ENFJ goes a long time without interacting they can start to feel awkward and unsure, and since they are acutely aware of this it makes them even more anxious to be around people. Since ENFJs are sensitive to the emotions of others, sometimes seriously embarrassing moments can cause them to develop this type of anxiety around others. They might be afraid of these situations repeating themselves, and so they become anxious with the idea of having to interact with people. This is hard for the ENFJ since they are naturally outgoing people who crave social energy and connection.
How to Deal
One of the most important steps for the ENFJ who is dealing with anxiety, is to seek help from those around them. They need to actually show that they need help without feeling afraid of how people will react. It is okay to be the one who needs care, instead of always protecting and caring for everyone else. ENFJs need to learn to set boundaries, instead of pushing themselves so hard that they collapse. Self-care is one of the most important steps for the ENFJ as they mature, and is something which can help them deal with their anxiety. They neglect their own needs until they build up, and so if they can learn to take care of themselves and their own needs before this point it can really help their anxiety.
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