Written By Kirsten Moodie
The Advantages and Disadvantages of an Introvert Dating an Extravert
All relationships have their struggles, but they differ depending on the pairing. Introverts dating extraverts can definitely be difficult, but there are many ways to overcome the struggles. There are also many advantages to this pairing, ones that people might not be fully aware of. Here are the pros and cons of an introvert dating and extravert.
They Have Different Social Desires
Introverts and extraverts have extremely different social desires, which can cause them to clash. While extraverts require socialization to feel energized, introverts need plenty of alone time to recharge their batteries. This is something that causes the introvert and extravert relationship to become a bit difficult. There will likely be times when the extraverted person wants to go out with friends, and the introvert simply wants to be by themselves in the peace and quiet. This might cause tension between the couple, especially if the introvert wants their loved one to stay in with them. Extraverts in a relationship might want their introverted partner to join them on their adventures, and can feel offended when they don’t want to participate.
When one person requires entirely different surroundings to recharge and feel energized, it can cause an uncomfortable tension. This is even worse if they do not understand one another and their personal social needs. This is obviously something that can be worked through though, especially if the couple understands their personality types and what they need in life. This understanding can help them appreciate each other and their personal needs, instead of pushing one another into uncomfortable situations. When the extravert learns to understand that their introverted partner simply needs time alone, they can learn to take this less personally. The introvert also needs to learn to allow their partner to go out and socialize, without feeling guilty about the situation. This type of couple simply needs boundaries, and a way to have independence without offending one another.
There Are Noise Struggles
Introverts enjoy the quiet, and can become overwhelmed by too much noise around them. Some extraverts actually enjoy having plenty of sounds in order to stimulate them. Extraverts simply aren’t simulated as easily as introverts, and are less sensitive to sound and lights. This is something that can cause tension in the relationship, since the needs of the couple are entirely different from one another. The extravert might want to play the television loudly, while they participate in another activity at the same time. This is something that can frustrate the introvert, who likely wants a certain level of quiet in their surroundings.
The best solution to this problem is to have separate spaces in your home, where each person can do their own thing. The extravert should have a space where they can make noise, so the introvert isn’t bothered by this. While the introvert needs a quiet place to focus on themselves, and recharge. It simply takes compromise and patience with one another to overcome these difficulties.
They Can Misunderstand Each Other
Introverts and extraverts simply function differently in various ways, which can cause a lot of misunderstanding between them. When the introvert needs time to themselves, there are moments where they can seem distant and even a bit crabby. This isn’t the case, they are simply exhausted and require time alone in order to feel like themselves again. It isn’t anything against the extravert, who they are likely going to think about fondly during this time alone. While the introvert in the couple is likely not upset with their partner, the extravert can take this differently. They might be hurt and offended, feeling like their loved one simply does not want to spend time with them. In many cases the introvert doesn’t mind having their partner around, they just require silence in order to recharge. If the extravert can learn to give them the silence and calm that they need, it can help them work together in this situation. The extravert simply needs to learn to respect their introvert’s needs, and give them the time they need in order to recharge. It is also important that they appreciate that their introvert is most likely thinking about them and enjoys taking this time by themselves to ponder the relationship and really appreciate their extravert.
While the introvert can become misunderstood in their relationship, this door actually swings both ways. Extraverts require socialization, and need to be able to feel connected to their loved ones. This can come across as needy, and might be upsetting for the introvert. They can look at their partner like they are being a bit over the top, and would rather them stay and home and be relaxed. The extravert simply needs to express themselves in certain ways, and doesn’t do this to be obnoxious or loud. Extraverts can become hurt by being called noisy as well, and require patience from their introverted partner. For an extravert, wanting their partner around and enjoying having long conversations with them, is actually a sign that they care deeply for them. This is how they express their affection, which can sometimes appear needy to others. It is important for the introvert to be patient with their extravert as well, and to understand and appreciate where they are coming from. Compromise can go a long way for both people involved, and can help strengthen the bond.
It Facilitates Growth
While there are a few negative aspects to the introvert/extravert relationship, there are also some truly wonderful parts. Introverts and extraverts in a relationship actually push one another to grow and become better versions of themselves. Their differences help one another come out of their comfort zones, and overcome certain things they might struggle with. The introvert who is normally uncomfortable with too much social interaction, will be forced to overcome this. They will be pushed into situations that they might need to experience, but otherwise would convince themselves to avoid. This can really help the introvert discover what they are capable of, and help them grow as a person.
The extravert will likely learn to become more self-aware, and will become better at looking into their own feelings and needs. With the introvert helping them analyze their thoughts, the extravert will feel more at ease with themselves. It can really help them to grow and stop searching for social interaction as a way to cover up their feelings and needs. Having an introvert to help understand them, can really help the extravert to take a step back and relax a bit.
There Is a Give and Take
There is actually a wonderful give and take in the introvert/extravert relationship. They often can depend on one another for things and will pick up each other’s slack. When the introvert is feeling overwhelmed and does not want to push themselves in social settings, their extravert can often take the lead. This can really make life easier for the introvert, especially during times when they are feeling exhausted and completely drained. The extravert won’t mind making the phone calls for takeout food, and they won’t mind being the one to take the lead when they are in awkward social situations. This can also be good for times when the extravert wants a little extra attention, the introvert won’t mind letting them shine. They actually enjoy watching their extraverted partner receive this attention, and love watching the bloom.
This pairing can really provide for one another in surprising and helpful ways. They enjoy certain aspects of one another that they would not get with someone more similar to themselves. Introverts can help the extravert feel more confident in themselves, while the introvert can feel taken care of in ways that they never thought possible.
Opposites Do Attract
Sometimes opposites really do attract, which can often be the case with introvert/extravert relationships. One person will possess what the other one lacks, which can be exciting and intriguing. They will often admire one another in unique ways, and enjoy seeing their partner in their elements. The introvert likely admires their extravert’s ability to socialize and take charge. They will watch them with awe in many situations, especially when their extravert is being a social butterfly. The extravert will be completely in love with the way their introverts mind works. They will be a bit perplexed, but also entirely intrigued with how their introvert can spend so much time inside of their own thoughts. The extravert likely finds themselves wanting desperately to be let into that unique little world.
This pairing can really bring one another up, and inspire each other to grow. There are certainly struggles when it comes to introverts dating extraverts, but these things can be overcome if both parties are willing. It always takes effort to make a relationship work, but the first step is understanding one another.
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