INTJ Girlfriend: How to Understand Your INTJ Partner

While INTJs aren’t often connected to ideas of romance or love, that doesn’t mean they don’t fall in love. The INTJ girlfriend is actually capable of being a supportive and amazing partner to the right person. While INTJ women might not always express the stereotypical female behaviors, that is simply because they walk their own path without wanting to fall into what others expect of them. They might not be bubbly and affectionate people, but that doesn’t mean they don’t give a lot to the person they love and are in a relationship with. Their logical minds can be a good thing in a lot of ways, bringing something different to a romantic relationship.

They Are Guarded

INTJs are naturally guarded people, which means it takes time for them to really trust someone. This can be challenging for some partners, especially when they just want to get closer to the INTJ. This doesn’t mean they are incapable of opening up or letting someone in, it just takes some time for them to feel comfortable doing this. The INTJ girlfriend can be misunderstood because of this, since so many people expect them to be bubbly and open people. They take time to really feel comfortable opening themselves up, especially to someone they care for. It can make the INTJ feel nervous and so they need time to feel safe doing this. Eventually the INTJ will be capable of opening parts of themselves up to their partner, but they need someone who is patient and not demanding. If their significant other is pushy or demanding it can make the INTJ feel uncomfortable and they might push them away even more.

When their partner gives the INTJ space and strives to understand them for who they are, the INTJ feels more at ease. As girlfriends they might not be the expected type, they might not be expressive or emotional and instead are much more guarded and factual. This makes it challenging for them to feel safe, especially when people have expectations for them which they aren’t ready to respond to. They need someone who doesn’t place these types of expectations and instead sees them for who they are. This is a truly important part of any relationship with the INTJ girlfriend, as they need someone who sees part stereotypes and is patient with their need for space.

They Are Logical

INTJs are logical people by nature and are more focused on facts than they are emotions. This can be something which confuses most people, especially their romantic partners. If they are expecting someone who is affectionate and expresses emotions, then that isn’t what they will get from their INTJ girlfriend. While INTJs are caring people who will do a lot for the person they love most, that doesn’t mean they are naturally comfortable expressing these feelings verbally. They find other ways of showing they care, often with much more practical means. They will often try and solve their partners problems and help them to improve their situation. They are good at helping and will use their problem solving skills to ensure their loved ones are properly cared for and on the right path. This comes more naturally for the INTJ than using emotions and feelings as a means of showing they are. INTJs are also good at listening and being supportive, and want to understand their partner. Striving to learn more about the person they are with is a big deal for the INTJ, as this is how they show just how much they care for them. 

They Are Fiercely Loyal

When it comes to the relationships the INTJ girlfriend might not be emotionally expressive but they are fiercely loyal people. Once they make the choice to connect with someone and share their lives with them, the INTJ does not take this lightly. They will do anything to show their support and be the best partner they can be. While emotions might not make them comfortable, that doesn’t mean they don’t feel them deeply. When the INTJ loves someone this is not something flighty or in the moment, it is something they feel deeply and for real. When they make a commitment to someone it is serious and they remain loyal to this and that person. INTJs do love deeply especially when they have gotten to know someone on a much more serious level. They want to do whatever they can to connect to their partner and find ways of making them feel supported and loved. They will fight for this person and stand by them through the hard times, and are not likely to turn their back on someone they care for this way.

Give Them Space, Don’t Worry They Still Love You

The INTJ girlfriend needs space and time to themselves, regardless of what stereotypes might say about how girlfriends should behave. Without this time alone they become drained and exhausted, both mentally and emotionally. They need this distance and time to themselves, but that doesn’t change how they feel about their significant other. When they love and care for someone they will go above and beyond for them, but that doesn’t mean they can be physically around them all of the time. They need time alone, and while they are alone they often have this special someone in their thoughts. They think about their future together and how to make things work, their minds are constantly running through plans and ideas like this. Physical distance and space does not mean the INTJ really feels separated from their partner, this is something entirely different. They can feel connected without constantly being together, especially when the bond is a more real and meaningful one. This is why it is so important for their partner to be understanding and patient with them, since the INTJ has much more to offer than what is on the surface.


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