INFJ Depression & Struggles: How the INFJ Handles Depressed Feelings
Depression is certainly a different experience and journey for each person, and so it is important to always consider the individual going through it. While it can wear differences faces and express itself in different ways, certain personality types might find that they share similar feelings, as well as means of healing through their depression. There are also different types of depression, some are situational and others are clinical and it is important to always seek professional help when going through something very serious. That being said, it is also helpful to gather as many different tools as you can in order to heal.
For the INFJ Admittance Can Be Hard
Statistics have shown that INFJs can be a bit more prone to depression, and there are many potential reasons why. One of the biggest reasons is that INFJs feel so different from the world around them, and so they struggle to find a sense of connection and belonging which they so crave. INFJs want to serve a greater purpose and because of their compassionate nature they desire to feel close to people. They care about helping and making a difference, but something this search can be difficult for them. This sense of empathy they feel for others can sometimes cause them pain, especially when people don’t feel this same empathy towards the INFJ. When they find themselves reaching out they can sometimes experience rejection, and this pain makes it difficult for them to keep trying.
INFJs often feel this need to be strong and put on a brave face around others. They may fear being vulnerable, especially if they have experienced rejection and hurt in their lives. This can cause the INFJ to close themselves off and build up walls over time. These walls do distance the INFJ and makes it so that they struggle to really admit that they are experiencing feelings of depression. Their desire to appear so strong makes it hard for them to open up about what is going on, and even fearful of admitting this to themselves. The important thing for the INFJ who is struggling with depression, is to learn to address these feelings and feel safe admitting them to themselves as well as someone they trust.
They Don’t Always Have to Be Strong
INFJs often have a mindset that they need to be strong all of the time, building up walls and not wanting to feel vulnerable. This desire to constantly appear strong is often what makes it challenging for them to truly seek the help they need. For the INFJ to really heal they need to accept that they do not always need to be the strong one. They can be the one who needs help, they can be the person who turns to others for guidance instead of always giving it. This is something which can be difficult for the INFJ to accept and process, but that doesn’t make it any less vital to getting better.
For the INFJ to really learn to accept their own emotions and grow from them, they need to be okay with not always being strong. They need to not feel ashamed of their depression or of any of their feelings. In order to be the person they are meant to be, the INFJ needs to be okay with not always being perfect. They need people around them who are willing to accept the times when the INFJ is in need, and not just expect them to be their constant guide in life. While INFJs love being helpful and giving advice, that doesn’t mean they don’t need it themselves sometimes.
Seek Comfort In Others
When the INFJ is going through feelings of depression, they can often retreat inward. They feel comfortable being alone and so they might seclude themselves for long periods of time. While being on their own is something which helps the INFJ recharge, alienating themselves can actually be more harm than they realize. Finding the balance of space and connection is truly vital for the INFJ and their healing process. They certainly need time to themselves, but they also need to seek out connection with people they love and trust.
The INFJ does need to learn to express their feelings and find someone who is willing to listen without judgment. Having a person who they trust, even if it is only one person, is truly important for the INFJ. This companion can be a family member, a friend, or a lover- the important part is that they are supportive and understanding of the INFJs needs and their feelings. Taking the time to really open up about what is going on, is definitely a step the INFJ needs to take before they can heal and move forward.
Being Conscious Of Your Physical Self
INFJs can often be so caught up inside of their own minds that they forget to care for their physical selves. This is something which can spark depression on it’s own, or simply make the situation worse for them. When they neglect their physical health they become stagnant and can constantly feel a sense of anxiety because of this. While INFJs might struggle sometimes to connect with the physical world, one of the best ways for them to come out of their depression is by connecting to their physical self more. Finding ways of prioritizing their own needs, and setting little reminders about eating and even getting outside more often. These steps are ones which can really help the INFJ learn more about self-care. Even if they just take time to groom themselves and pay attention to those small tasks of pampering, this can help the INFJ to connect with their physical selves in a positive way.
Disclaimer: It is important to remember that depression can be a clinically serious issue and that you should always seek professional help when you are struggling with it. While it is nothing to be ashamed of, depression is very real and it is important to seek help in a professional sense rather than just doing your own research. These bits of advice are intended for people going through minor depression, and have likely already sought professional help. They are meant as small tools and ways of helping to improve your mental state.
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As a male INFJ I for one will not be grooming or pampering myself. Lol.
Thank you for your post. I am under a coach’s guidance to learn the field of R.E. Wholesaling which I am very passionate about. I am constantly being interrupted my an immature family member who is narsistic & de-valuates my desire to succeed in this field. This article empowers me to overcome obstacles like this & just do what I need to do. Keep those insights coming! 👍
This is great thank you. It is spot on. I found that making a podcast has helped me tremendously with depression, it gave me my value back in this world…It is also very INFJ lol. The Truth with Bill if any are curious;)
Reading this… it’s like, they know me and how i feel without having to even explain and that’s all I want in life.
Sorry but this INFJ-t has given up on truly trusting professionals in all their forms as completely unreliable.
hey, i am an infj going through depression. a major point of my depression is that i constantly feel disconnected from my body in reality, like i’m looking through a window. i’ve tried mindfulness techniques and ‘grounding’, but nothing shakes the feeling that i am not ‘one’ with my body, so to speak. i have felt this way since i hit puberty and i really miss being able to feel whole, or real because it was such a major part of my life. i don’t know if there’s anything that can be done about it, but i wanted to share my experience in case anyone feels the same or has gone through this and found a solution or aid.
It ☝ was helpfull!!
thank you!! 😊