Seeking Introversion: When an Extrovert Wants to Be Alone

While extroverts love being around people and really need to socialize in order to feel energized, this doesn’t mean they need this constantly. A common misconception is that extroverts always want to be around others, when in reality they also need time to themselves. Everyone needs a combination of social interaction and space to themselves, for some the balance is just a bit different. It is important to find this balance and figure out how to get enough time socializing, but also enough time alone. Some extroverts might find themselves wanting to keep connected and struggling with the guilt of distancing themselves, but time alone is important for everyone. For the extrovert who might be struggling with this, it is important to figure out ways to set boundaries and have some time alone.

Why They Need Alone Time

Just because extroverts need time around others to energize themselves, doesn’t mean they don’t also need some time to themselves. Without time alone they don’t get the chance to really work through and understand their emotions better. They need this time in order to self-reflect, or they can just seem to bounce around from one thing to another. This is something which can actually become draining after a while, as finding a healthy balance is important. This time alone helps the extrovert to understand themselves better and figure out all of the many thoughts and feelings inside of them. Sometimes they enjoy bouncing these ideas off of someone else, but they need to work through it on their own as well. Becoming comfortable with themselves and their own space is something which can be a challenge at first, but it is important for extroverts as well. 

It is also important to recognize that each individual is different and that means their needs will also differ. While some extroverts enjoy interacting with just about anyone, others really need specific interactions in order to feel charged up. Some might become drained around people who are too demanding or who have a way of soaking up all the attention around them. They can become more exhausted around these people than they are energized, and so it becomes difficult for them to figure out why this is happening. Recognizing the difference between needing interaction and needing specific interaction, is important for most extroverts. They need to find out which type of people and who really gives them energy, versus the people who leave them feeling worse than they did before. This is why finding the right type of people and environments can be so vital for the extroverted personality type. Once they have spent too much time around someone who drains them can leave the extrovert really feeling like they need to be on their own and separate themselves from the rest of the world. Being around people who make them feel disconnected is going to make them feel like they aren’t getting the right type of energy. When this happens they might need time alone to really work through this and figure out what is going on internally. It is so important for them to self-reflect in order to figure out what they need and what type of interactions are best for them.

How to Find the Balance

Finding the balance between social interaction and being alone can be difficult for extroverts. They desire interaction and want to feel connected with people, which is why finding the right connections is so vital. They can have a strong desire to connect with others and please people, which leaves them feeling drained when they don’t give themselves the time to process their feelings alone. Some extroverts might push themselves around others and want to impress or make them happy. This desire to care for others can make it hard to take some time to themselves, especially when they would rather be around others. Finding this balance between interacting and taking time to themselves is really important, although it can be a challenging process at times. They need to find space and sometimes this means setting boundaries for themselves and others. It can be so easy to slip into just wanting to be around their loved ones, but they do require time to themselves in order to understand their own needs and not become drowned out by others. This is why time alone can be so important for extroverts as well, even though social interaction is vital for them.

How to Set Boundaries

Learning how to set boundaries for others as well as themselves, can be vital for the extroverted personality types. They need time to themselves as well, but it can be hard to make this time or demand it from others. Being someone who likes being around others and spends a lot of time with friends and loved ones, can make it so people expect this from extroverts. When they have to take time for themselves it can be hard to really let people know that this is important to them. Most people might not understand this change and can take it personally, and so setting these boundaries becomes difficult for the extroverts. They need to find ways to create distance, possibly by having hobbies which require them to be on their own. If they can easily tell people they need to focus time on this hobby, it can create a barrier which makes them feel less guilty about demanding this time alone. It isn’t always easy to make this shift but having the right tools can make the process more manageable. While extroverts love being around others, they need time alone just like everyone else. Figuring out the balance and understanding what they need is something which every extrovert needs to figure out for themselves.


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