INFJ Needs: The 5 Most Essential Needs of the INFJ Personality

Sometimes uncovering our own personal needs can be challenging, and doesn’t always come naturally. We expect that we will simply know and recognize our own inner needs and desires, but for some people learning about themselves is a process which takes time and reflection. While it might not always be an easy question to ask, learning about our own inner needs is a vital part of being content within ourselves. In order to go after the things we want, as well as make relationships work, we must understand the things we need most from ourselves and from others. 

When it comes to focusing on their own personal needs, the INFJ can fall behind. They have a tendency to focus on those around them and what they need to make them happy. In favor of caring for everyone else, the INFJ often pushes aside their own wants and desires. This can leave the INFJ feeling drained and emotionally overwhelmed, since they go so long without even searching to understand their own needs. For the INFJ taking the time to process their feelings and uncover what they need most, is truly an important part of growing and becoming the best version of themselves.

1. Alone Time

When it comes to the INFJ time alone is a vital part of their lives and their inner needs. Without having this time to themselves to recharge and reflect, the INFJ becomes emotionally and spiritually exhausted. They care so much about their loved ones and because of this they might neglect this need from time to time. When someone they love requires their attention the INFJ will try and push themselves when what they need is distance and time to themselves. They care so much about others, but they sometimes forget to care for themselves. When it comes to needing alone time this is not a negotiable thing for the INFJ. It is absolutely vital that they get this time to themselves, and they need it fairly often. Without being able to connect with their own inner thoughts and feelings, the INFJ becomes overwhelmed. 

They need to learn how to set these boundaries and let people know that they need this time to themselves. It can be really challenging for the INFJ at first, especially since they don’t like to disappoint anyone. For the INFJ really setting boundaries and explaining their own needs can be challenging, but it is important that they do this. Without letting people know how vital alone time is for them, the INFJ starts to lose sight of themselves and becomes a much less production and likely unhappy person.

2. Human Connection

For the INFJ making connections and feeling close to someone is truly important. They might be introverts who need time to themselves, but that doesn’t mean connection isn’t just as important for the INFJ. They crave feeling close to someone special, even if this is just a friend or family member. For the INFJ it isn’t just about romance, but instead it is about feeling a connection which goes beneath the surface. They want someone they can share themselves with, someone who listens and who truly cares. The INFJ wants to feel this connection to people, as they really do crave closeness. While they might not want to chat constantly, that doesn’t mean INFJs don’t enjoy long in depth conversations. When they find someone they can really bond with, the INFJ will feel sincerely rewarded from this connection. 

3. To Feel Understood

INFJs crave connection but they also need to feel understood. Since the INFJ is such a rare personality type and so different from what people expect, they can often feel misunderstood by others. This causes the INFJ to put up walls, as they don’t want to keep feeling rejected by people who don’t really understand them. This is why finding at least one person who they feel safe with is truly and deeply vital for the INFJ to be happy and content with themselves. They need this person who sees them for who they are, and who helps them gain some perspective. For the INFJ that one special person is one of the most valuable and important things they can have in their lives. When they do find this connection they will do anything to keep it in and nurture it.

4. Meaning

Finding meaning in the world and in their own lives, is truly important for the INFJ. They often feel like they are meant to make a difference in the world around them, and so being able to do so is vital. For the INFJ finding something in their lives and actions which serves a greater purpose, is going to bring them immense joy. They don’t want to simply be fumbling around life without direction or structure, and so they often need to reevaluate the things which they need in order to feel fulfilled. The INFJ likely needs a career which gives them this purpose, as doing something which doesn’t feel morally right or useful is going to make them rather unhappy. It can be challenging for the INFJ to find meaning in their lives and feel as if they are serving a truly important purpose, but it is a search they need to continue fighting for in their lives.

5. Truth

For the INFJ the truth and sincerity are very meaningful things in life. They don’t necessarily want to find the truth in the harshest and darkest ways, but they don’t like being around lies and fake demeanors. They don’t feel happy around people who are constantly spreading false information, or who cannot be themselves openly. They want something real, something meaningful and they want the truth. For the INFJ searching for this truth can be a challenging process in their lives, but it is something which means a lot to them. They need people who can be true and sincere with them, people who will bare their souls completely and not constantly put on some sort of act. The INFJ can sense when people are pretending and this makes them feel very uneasy.

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