Written By Kirsten Moodie

Here’s How Good You Are at Tenderness, Based on Your Personality Type

Some people are very good at showing tenderness towards others, especially those they are romantically involved with. While some people can be very tender, others can struggle to express this type of sensitivity. Here is how good you are at tenderness, based on your personality type.



INFJs can appear somewhat aloof to people who don’t know or understand them, but they are actually capable of great tenderness. INFJs are caring and compassionate people who enjoy being around people who bring out their tender side. For them it is important to share their affections in an intimate manner, and so being tender is not challenging for them at all. INFJs also appreciate receiving this tenderness from the person they love most, and enjoy feeling appreciated in this way. They are more than capable of being sympathetic and soft-natured when someone they care for is in need of this.


ENFJs are definitely capable of immense amounts of tenderness, especially towards their loved ones. They are compassionate people with big hearts, and so they enjoy spreading love and affection to others. When someone is in need of comfort the ENFJ is often very tender and considerate of their feelings. They want to bring comfort to people and enjoy doing what they can to make others happy. ENFJs are definitely capable of fierceness, but they are also very tender when they need to be. They enjoy having someone close to them who can return this affectionate and tenderness, and will greatly appreciate it.


INFPs are definitely capable of tenderness, especially with someone they are very close to. When it comes to being in a close relationship, INFP enjoy being able to share a certain level of tenderness and affectionate with this person. Being gentle and kind towards one another is something that is truly rewarding for the INFP. They do crave tenderness, mostly because they crave a certain level of intimacy with someone special. They want to feel this closeness and they value this very much.


ENFPs are definitely capable of tenderness, but not on a constant basis. They can become tired of constantly having to express a certain kind of affection, even though they do enjoy it. ENFPs want to have space to be themselves and explore different things, and enjoy being able to be playful and teasing as well. When the ENFP does care for someone deeply they enjoy being tender with this person and also want to feel this in return. They don’t like being around people who are incapable of tenderness and affection, since this is important to them.



While INTJs care deeply about the ones they love, tenderness can be a bit challenging for them sometimes. They are direct and factual people, who often express their affection by being supportive and helpful in more practical ways. They can possess a tender side to their personality, but it is somewhat rare that it comes out. INTJs simply don’t express emotions easily and so being extremely tender is likely to only last so long with them. They sometimes struggle with expressing things in a sensitive manner, since they favor being honest and upfront.


Tenderness can be a little bit challenging for ENTJs, since they aren’t always the most tactful people. They care deeply for their loved ones but they usually express this with loyalty and in more practical ways. Showing affection can be difficult sometimes, at least doing it in an open and expressing manner. ENTJs will try to show tenderness with their romantic interest though, and do their best to give them a sense of romance and affection. It simply isn’t likely to last all of the time, since ENTJs are more direct and upfront with how they express themselves.


While their tender side can be rather challenging to find, the INTP does possess a certain level of tenderness. When they truly love someone and become close to them, they can be rather compassionate and soft with that person. While it can be difficult for the INTP to open up and be vulnerable in this way, it happens when they meet someone they truly trust and connect with. While the logical and aloof INTP is often seen as cold, this tender side is surprisingly strong when they want it to be.


ENTPs can be seen as humorous and factual people, but that doesn’t mean they don’t possess a tender side. While this side of their personality is often only seen by people very close to them, it does exist. The ENTP can be extremely tender and affectionate with someone they love deeply, and will be more than capable of showing a softer side to their personality. They do enjoy showing affection and being sweet to the people they love, especially someone they are in love with. While the ENTP doesn’t show this side all of the time, it is certainly something they are capable of.



ISTJs are not often seen as the tenderest people, since expressing their feelings can be difficult for them. They are more factual and to the point, even with their loved ones. ISTJs take their relationships very seriously and would not waste their time and energy on people who did not mean a lot to them. So sometimes they can forget to express their feelings, since being with that person is a sign in and of itself. ISTJs struggle with being overtly tender and affectionate, but they do have moments where it comes out.


ESTJs aren’t really great with tenderness, since they are more direct and to the point. When they care about someone it is often something they feel to be rather obvious, since they don’t waste time on people who do not matter to them. ESTJs go out of their way to show they care, but they do this in a more practical sense. They will make sure their loved ones are provided for financially, and will work hard to protect them. When it comes to tenderness they can sometimes struggle, but it will come out once in a while.


ISFJs are definitely capable of showing tenderness, especially to the people they love the most. They are naturally compassionate and caring people, who enjoy being able to make others feel better. They want to create a sense of comfort and harmony in their environment and care deeply about the well-being of others. When the ISFJ loves someone they can be very tender towards them, especially when that person is feeling hurt or in need of some sort of comfort.


ESFJs are definitely capable of tenderness, especially with the people they truly love. They want to be able to show affection towards these people and make them feel loved. Tenderness is often easy for the ESFJ, at least with people who are special to them. They value a sense of closeness, and want to do whatever they can to make others happy. While ESFJs can have a somewhat stern and tough side, they also have a deeply tender and affectionate side to their personality.



Tenderness can be a little bit more challenging for the ISTP, since they can be a bit distant at times. They are more focused on facts and sincerity than being affectionate and soft. ISTPs can be a little bit aloof most of the time, even when they are around people who mean a lot to them. It can take some time for them to really warm up and find a way to express a more tender side of their personality. For the ISTP there are simply other ways that they use to show that they care.


ESTPs aren’t always very tender people, and can struggle with expressing affection too often. While they don’t always find tenderness easy to express, they often find a way when they are truly close to someone. When the ESTP loves someone deeply, a tender and gentle side of their personality is exposed. They often go from being the more aloof and factual ESTP, to being truly affectionate and compassionate.


While ISFPs can have a somewhat playful and even mischievous side, they are also very tender people. When someone they love is in need of affectionate and softness, the ISFP is more than capable of providing this. They can seem a bit aloof and distracted oftentimes, but that doesn’t mean they don’t possess a deeply caring and tender heart. ISFPs enjoy being able to be affectionate and gentle with the ones they love, and they also appreciate receiving this in return.


ESFPs are definitely capable of immense tenderness, especially towards someone that they love deeply. They enjoy showing a tender side of themselves, and want to be able to make their loved ones happy. When someone is hurting and in need of sensitivity, the ESFP will do their best to be both tender and supportive. They don’t like seeing their loved ones sad, and will do whatever they can be bring up their mood and be sensitive to them.

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