Written By Kirsten Moodie
Here’s How Each Personality Type Behaves as the Oldest Child
Being the oldest child certainly comes with a certain amount of challenged. Here is how each personality type behaves as the oldest sibling.
INFJs as the oldest are naturally very protective if their younger siblings. They take on the nurturing role and will feel extremely pressured to hold a good example. They often watch their parents, so that they can observe and learn from their mistakes. This helps the INFJ get a better idea of how to approach their future, and helps them to be a better role model. They often put a lot of pressure on themselves to be good, and will push even harder when they have younger siblings watching their every move. They might surprise and confuse their family with their desire to help them, but then their need to quickly retreat and spend time by themselves.
ENFJs as the oldest sibling can be a bit demanding and bossy, since they have a desire to take care of everyone. They will often work hard to impress their parents, but also have a desire to be a good role model for their siblings. The ENFJ is always focused on caring for the needs of others, which can make being the oldest sibling difficult. They put a lot of pressure on themselves to live up to their role as the oldest, and do not want to let anyone down. ENFJs will often do what they can to be successful, and will want to ensure that their younger siblings follow in their footsteps.
INFPs can struggle as the oldest sibling, since they may not get as much alone times as they need. They want to be able to be supporting for their family, but also require space to recharge. Having younger siblings can make it difficult to find this alone time, which may cause the INFP to feel smothered. They are also very unique people, with an offbeat personality- this can become difficult if their parents put pressure on them to be a good role model. INFPs can definitely show their younger siblings a great sense of positive morals, but they may have a hard time following their destined course in life.
ENFPs are skilled at making the most out of their situation, and even though they might prefer being the youngest sibling they also can thrive as the oldest. ENFPs enjoy being around their loved ones, and will often enjoy being able to stand up for their younger siblings. They are fiercely loyal people which often makes them care very much for their family. ENFPs might take on a leadership role as the oldest sibling, but can easily become distracted which can be a bit confusing for the family. ENFPs enjoy being a member of their community, but they also need space to grow and explore.
INTJs as the oldest child might take on the role of a teacher. They want their siblings to be self-aware, and dislike seeing them be willingly ignorant about anything. INTJs might be a bit bossy towards their younger siblings, but they are only doing this in order to help them learn and understand. INTJs also need plenty of space though, which can make the role of the oldest sibling a little difficult for them. They might need to isolate themselves from time to time, and can find this challenging if their siblings refuse to let them do so. They will certainly set strict boundaries, in order to find a space and freedom in their household.
ENTJs can often take on a bossy and protective role as the oldest sibling in the family. They want to make sure that their younger siblings follow a good path, which will put a lot of pressure on the ENTJ to set a good example. Knowing that they have their siblings watching their every move, will certainly cause the ENTJ to work hard to impress them. They enjoy breaking the rules sometimes, but might feel a need to hide this from their siblings in order to protect them. ENTJs simply want to play an important role in their family, and enjoy helping their siblings better themselves.
INTPs will definitely try to uphold certain standards as the oldest sibling, but oftentimes to dislike the lack of space. INTPs truly need time to themselves, and will often isolate from others which can be confusing to their family. They might just up and leave to go on a long road trip, without telling anyone where they have gone. This can cause them to upset and scare their loved ones, including their younger siblings. This can make it difficult for them to fit into the role as eldest sibling, since they dislike the pressure of having other people look up to them. They certainly care about their family, they just require plenty of room to themselves in order to feel energized.
ENTPs are very independent people and dislike feeling like they have to perform to other people’s standards. As the oldest child ENTPs certainly want to help their younger siblings in any way possible, but they also don’t want to feel held back themselves. ENTPs need plenty of room to grow and explore new possibilities, and because of this they don’t love following rules. They might be a bit reckless in the eyes of their parents, but this is simply how they learn to grow. ENTPs definitely care about helping their siblings, they just might not enjoy the idea of being their role model.
ISTJs as the oldest child are definitely focused on upholding the family rules and setting a good example. They are hardworking people, which causes them to push themselves to be successful. ISTJs often want to impress their parents, especially if they are the oldest child. They do not want to feel like they have failed in any way, and realize that they need to set a positive example. ISTJs put a lot of pressure on themselves, and will be even more driven when they have younger siblings watching them.
ESTJs as the oldest child are extremely protective of their younger siblings. They might be a little bossy from time to time, and will take on a clear leadership role. As the oldest sibling the ESTJs know that they need to set a good example for their siblings. They will find it very important to be successful and showcase their talents in a way that helps their family feel proud of them. ESTJs definitely want to make their parents happy, and will work hard to impress them. They also want their siblings to follow their instructions and learn how to be efficient and successful people.
ISFJs as the oldest child might take on a secondary mothering role. They naturally want to help their parents, and will do everything they can to assist around the house. Without even meaning to the ISFJ will find themselves wanting to show their younger siblings how to behave properly. They will definitely help enforce the household rules, but will also be very caring and nurturing towards their siblings. They enjoy being supportive and will want to help them be successful and good people. ISFJs often do well as the oldest sibling, but can also put a lot of pressure on themselves to impress their parents.
ESFJs as the oldest child are definitely focused on helping their younger siblings grow up well. They will often take it upon themselves to help their siblings do well in school and in life. ESFJs will put a lot of pressure on themselves to be successful in order to help set a good example. Family means a lot to ESFJs, and they don’t want to let anyone around them down. They often set extremely high standards for themselves, especially when they know other people are watching them. ESFJs will often focus very hard on providing for their loved ones, and will do whatever it takes to assist their younger siblings.
ISTPs might struggle as the oldest child, since they dislike feeling controlled by others. They love their family but they do not want to feel pressure to perform for them. ISTPs often need time by themselves, and might isolate often which can surprise and confuse their family members. Even though they will do what they can to care for their younger siblings, the ISTP might be frustrated in this leadership role. They do not want to feel responsible for others, and simply prefer to let their siblings be themselves.
ESTPs as the oldest siblings might find themselves struggling in this role. They certainly want to impress their family members, but might feel extremely guilty if they fail. This can cause the ESTP to break away from their family, especially if the pressure is too great. They care very much about their loves, which actually causes more stress than they can handle sometimes. Eventually though, the ESTP will likely take on a protective role towards their younger siblings and will do what they can to help them.
ISFPs are free spirits, which can cause them to feel too much undue pressure as the oldest child. They simply want to live their lives in peace, and enjoy feeling free to do what they want. ISFPs definitely care about their family though, and want to feel close to their younger siblings. They would much rather feel a friendship with them, than feel as though they are required to set a positive example. ISFPs do not want this type of pressure, and want space to explore themselves and the world around them. They will often encourage their siblings to be themselves, and will not put pressure on them to be successful.
ESFPs definitely prefer being the youngest in the family, and might struggle in a leadership style role. They prefer to have fun and dislike feeling too much pressure to be successful. When the ESFP is young they might find themselves embarrassed by the goofiness of their younger siblings. They might shun their siblings in public, especially if they threaten their reputation. As the ESFP gets older they will likely feel very differently and will want to draw closer to their siblings. They simply prefer to have fun and sometimes having to care for their siblings can cause them to become stressed and upset.
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