Written By Kirsten Moodie
Here’s How Each Personality Type Behaves as the Middle Child
Being the middle child has plenty of negativity attached to it, but not all of it is accurate. Here is how each personality type behaves as the middle child.
INFJs as the middle child can struggle to feel like a significant member of the family. They certainly still want to connect with their loved ones, but might find themselves drawing to their parents more. Being stuck in the middle doesn’t give them a clear role, so instead they will often isolate themselves. This can be helpful to INFJs though, since they truly need to feel like they have plenty of space in their environment. It might seem like the INFJ is unhappy, when in truth they are simply retreating into a happier space for themselves. Being able to have plenty of time alone is a truly great thing for INFJs, which can be a benefit of being the middle child sometimes.
ENFJs definitely prefer having a clear role, so they might dislike being stuck in the middle. Ultimately, they will find a way to be important to each of their siblings. They will often behave as a role model regardless of their place in the family, and will try hard to stand out to their parents. ENFJs are also very nurturing people, and might find themselves trying to take care of their siblings, even if they are younger than them. As the middle child they will likely work even harder to be impressive in the eyes of their family members, in hopes of showing them how skilled they are.
INFPs might dislike the feeling of being the middle child, since they don’t have a clear role in the family. They might find themselves drawing closer to their parents, since they aren’t entirely sure where they stand with their siblings. INFPS prefer to have plenty of space and room to grow, and might have felt comfortable as the younger sibling for a while. Once their new sibling(s) arrived they likely felt a bit out of place and unsure. It can be difficult for the INFP to feel like they have to be a leader in some ways, but they will do well as a role model because their morals are very important to them.
ENFPs as the middle child an sometimes find drastic ways to act out for attention. If they don’t feel like their family takes enough notice of them, it can be upsetting for the ENFP. They simply want to feel loved and important in the eyes of their family, and will be rather confused if this does not come easily. ENFPs do not need constant attention, and certainly desire to have plenty of alone time. They simply want to feel like they truly matter to their family, and might have a hard time feeling important as the middle child. They will likely find ways to stand out, and be seen as unique even if it lands them the title of black sheep.
INTJs might not mind the role of middle child, since it can gain them plenty of space. If they feel overwhelmed and smothered by their siblings though, this can be rather exhausting for them. They would much prefer to have space and time to themselves. INTJs care about their family, but of course they need to have time by themselves to recharge and feel comfortable in their own skin. INTJs do not need a specific role to feel at ease in their household, but might find themselves being a bit bossy even as the middle sibling.
ENTJs likely do not care where their birthplace is in the family, they enjoy being an important member of the family. Even as the middle child the ENTJ will likely search for a significant role in the household. They will still likely find a way to be the leader, especially to their younger siblings. They simply want to help their loved ones grow and become better, and this often requires a little bit of pushing. ENTJs are one of the types to be less bothered by being the middle child, since it gives them another challenge to adjust to as they grow up.
INTPs often feel more suited in a significant role, and might feel a bit out of place as the middle child. They want to feel like they can bring value to their household, but at the same time need plenty of space and alone time. INTPs can confuse their family because of these mixed signals, but it is simply how they operate. They care about their loved ones, they just don’t find constant social interaction to be an easy thing. INTPs will likely find a way to adapt as the middle child, and will work to bring value in whatever way they can.
ENTPs are extremely adaptable people, and will likely do just fine as the middle child. They enjoy having plenty of space to grow and take on new challenges, but at the same time they do care about their loved ones. Being able to be a part of the family and draw close to their siblings, while also not having too much responsibility on their shoulders- makes being the middle child rather positive for ENTPs.
ISTJs find family to be a very important part of life, and often hold their role in the household very close to their heart. ISTJs want to be a valuable member of their family, and desire to provide for others. As the middle child they can find themselves struggling to find and important role, and will search tirelessly to find a good place. They will likely work to find some sort of significant role as the middle child, whether that be assisting their parents, or simply standing out in their intelligence.
ESTJs believe that family is very important, and desire to be a significant member of their household. They will likely struggle to find a place as the middle child, and will work hard to stand out in some way. Whether the ESTJ simply works extra hard to be great in school, or sets their eyes on a massive future goal- they will find a way to stand out. They might end up taking on rather large challenged in order to prove that they are valuable and talented, and deserve to be taken notice of in the family.
ISFJs often do not mind being the middle child at all, because they do not need to stand out. They simply want to provide for their family in any way they can, and will be helpful regardless of their birth order. ISFJs are giving and warm people, and will likely stand out just fine as the middle child. Their nurturing personalities will go a long way in making their siblings and parents value them very deeply. The ISFJ as the middle child is likely still going to take on a mothering role, for both their younger and older siblings.
ESFJs likely do not mind being the middle child, and will enjoy being surrounded by family. They simply want to provide and care for their loved ones, and will work hard to help in whatever way they can. The ESFJ growing up will likely try to what they can to impress their parents, but also want to be impressive to their siblings. Being the middle child can cause them to juggle this desire to please, and will be a little bit stressful in that way. They simply want to make their loved ones happy, and will work very hard to do so.
ISTPs are rather laid back people, and often do not mind being the middle child. They might even enjoy not feeling the pressure of oldest or youngest child. ISTPs want to have plenty of space to themselves, and dislike being smothered by others. As the middle child they might feel more at ease and able to do their own thing. ISTPs care for their family and want to be helpful, but at the same time they require plenty of room to grow and explore.
ESTPs likely do better as the oldest child in the family, but certainly don’t mind being the middle sibling. They will be more inclined to do their own thing when in this birth order, since they are naturally independent people. Instead of feeling locked down by significant role in the family, the ESTP will feel free to explore themselves. They will likely be a bit wilder as the middle child, in hopes of making their mark and discovering themselves.
ISFPs might actually struggle as the middle child, and will instead find themselves drawing closer to their parents. They don’t want to feel like they are less significant because they are not the oldest or youngest child. They certainly like time alone, but also enjoy being valued by their loved ones. They might not strive to be center of attention, but at the same time they enjoy being showered by love. As the middle child ISFPs can be a bit more attention seeking than usual, in hopes of being seen as unique and important.
ESFPs certainly do not like being in the role of the middle child, and might feel out of place. They will likely push to draw attention to themselves in whatever way they possible can. ESFPs like to be the center of attention, and struggle to feel important as the middle sibling. They will be a bit over the top in hopes of being noticed by their family members. They certainly prefer having a more noticeable role in the household, but that won’t stop them from making their mark.