ENTJ Intimacy: How the ENTJ Feels About Intimate Relationships
While many people long for the feelings attached to intimacy, not everyone is all that comfortable with opening themselves up and being vulnerable in the way true intimacy often requires. For some it often feels easier to remain detached, and even distant when it comes to close relationships. They would rather keep people at a bit of a distance, never feeling safe allowing themselves to be fully intimate with them. For others this is the opposite of how they live their lives, and so they are always searching for some sort of intimacy and true deep connection with the people in their lives. This can sometimes be attributed to personality types, as certain types are more drawn to the idea of intimacy than others.
ENTJs can have a hard time when it comes to intimacy, since they can feel uneasy about the idea of being vulnerable in this way. For them it is hard to open up, as they prefer to keep things focused on logic and practicality. ENTJs do care about their close relationships though, and want to find people they can really connect with for something more long-term. ENTJs value loyalty in their lives, and while they might have an inner desire for intimacy, the process isn’t always natural or easy for them. They might struggle with emotional intimacy, since dealing with feelings and emotions is not a strength for the ENTJ. While they have many strengths and abilities, this just isn’t something they find all that natural.
For the ENTJ a big part of intimacy is about sharing their hopes and dreams and their innermost desires. Being able to connect with someone and share all of those thoughts and goals without feeling afraid to do so, is truly intimate. They want to be able to connect with someone and feel safe opening up about things they likely would not tell anyone else. This is something which requires time and patience from their loved ones, before the ENTJ can really feel safe doing this on a truly intimate level. They might share surface goals or things which are obvious, but the ENTJ has many layers to their personality and the things they want from life and themselves. This is why reaching that next level can be a challenge, but is often something they desire even more than they might recognize. ENTJs are social people, who really do enjoy making connections and building on those relationships. While being truly intimate with someone might not be something which happens easily or quickly for the ENTJ, that doesn’t mean it isn’t something they still want when the time is right for them. If someone is truly trusted by the ENTJ, then they certainly want to get closer to them and feel comfortable opening up about those inner feelings and wants.
Emotions are a challenge for the ENTJ in some ways, even though they still feel things just like everyone else. They prefer to focus more on facts, as well as being practical about their actions and choices. When it comes to emotions the ENTJ can be wary, since they see them as difficult to truly understand or peg down. It can be a process for them to really feel a desire to make that type of connection, but it doesn’t mean they are incapable of it. When the ENTJ is close to someone and wants their bond to last for a long time, then they are happy to try and grow and strengthen this. Emotional intimacy is often an important step, but they need people who can be patient with them along the way. ENTJs don’t just jump into things, especially not when it comes to relationships and intimacy. They need to be sure they can trust someone, and this can take some time for them to really feel comfortable sharing things which they often keep to themselves. ENTJs might be more willing to be emotionally intimate with a romantic partner, especially when they have someone who is patient and willing to compromise. Having someone who understands and appreciates the ENTJ, helps them feel comfortable taking this next step and uncovering more about one another. They certainly value their connections and are fiercely loyal people, which makes them more willing to be truly intimate with someone than people might realize. It just isn’t always an easy process, and sometimes it requires a certain amount of personal growth for them to reach this point in their lives.
What Holds Them Back
For the ENTJ the struggle with being truly intimate with someone is simply connecting with one another’s emotions and being totally vulnerable. ENTJs focus a lot on inner strength and on being able to overcome obstacles no matter what. This makes them want to focus on a sense of control, and being truly vulnerable does often feel like a total loss of personal control. When they give themselves to someone and share parts of themselves they keep inside, it can feel like they are taking a serious risk. It isn’t untrue that being open and vulnerable means risking your heart, and so the ENTJ is often wary of this type of step. ENTJs are also capable of growth and change, and so they can certainly become more willing to figure out how they can become intimate with the ones they love. They do like keeping things a certain way and can focus on control in their lives, which is often a big part of what holds them back. Once they trust someone entirely it becomes much easier, as trust is something which the ENTJ values immensely. They need to know they are being vulnerable with someone they can rely on, someone who is just as loyal as they are.