ENFP Hurt Feelings: How To Deal With Emotional Wounds

Everyone has to endure getting their feelings hurt once in a while, in some instances it is more severe than others. While some people might handle this by burying those feelings and moving on, this isn’t the natural response for everyone. Being sensitive to hurt feelings isn’t something to be ashamed of, having emotions is a natural part of life. For some personality types it does seem easier to receive hurt feelings, especially from those they love. For others it seems to be harder to offend them or get underneath their skin, but that doesn’t mean it is impossible. Anyone with very human emotions is going to get hurt once in a while, whether it is from someone intentionally trying to wound or simply accidental.

ENFPs can certainly get their feelings hurt, especially by someone they deeply for. They might sometimes put on a tough outer image, acting as if nothing phases them so that people don’t judge them the wrong way. In truth ENFPs have big hearts and feel things very deeply, making it easier for them to end up with their feelings hurt. This doesn’t mean they are going to crumble everytime this happens, since they can be good at putting a positive spin on things or just continuing to move forward. They often want to avoid conflict, but that doesn’t mean the ENFP doesn’t get hurt by the things people say and do. This is especially true when it comes to their loved ones, as they can be rather sensitive to their words and actions.

ENFP & Hurt Feelings

ENFPs like to avoid conflict, which can cause them to brush over certain instances when their feelings are hurt. They don’t want to cause problems or make people think they are too sensitive, which sometimes makes the ENFP pretend they are just fine. Even if they have been hurt and might be thinking about it, they don’t want to start problems when they can avoid them. This is especially common for the ENFP who has dealt with growing up and being called “too sensitive” or overly emotional, simply for having feelings. This is something which can happen often which leads the ENFP to distance themselves from expressing those emotions in the wrong situations. They want to be able to find people they can share themselves with, but it can be harder for the guarded ENFP to deal with this. They don’t like tension or unease around them, instead they want to try and remain positive and just enjoy themselves without constantly having to argue with people.

When the ENFP cares for someone they do this all the way, nothing they do is half-hearted. This is part of what can cause them to get their feelings hurt somewhat easier, especially with those people close to them. ENFPs can take this harshly, struggling to deal with certain criticism. They might not express this hurt but they often internalize it, and it can be hard for them to actually let it go. These feelings might come out in passive aggressive ways, or the ENFP might express them under times of extreme stress. This can be confusing for people, since the ENFP might have been bottling up those emotions for a while. The issue is that even if the ENFP tries to avoid getting into an argument, it doesn’t magically make them feel better. Instead of feeling better the ENFP often feels much worse, as these feelings with fester over time. They cannot ignore their emotions for long, as this really isn’t part of who the ENFP is. They feel things deeply and on a stronger level, making it hard for them to just pretend as if they are fine. For the ENFP, it is vital that they find a way to express and share their emotions, or else they will struggle to really process them the right ways. These feelings will find a way to emerge if they have been truly hurt by someone, and so ignoring it only makes the situation worse for their relationship. Their connections are deeply important to the ENFP, and so are their inner emotions. Neglecting them can cause them expreme stress and make them feel unhappy.

How to Deal

For the ENFP the most important step towards dealing with hurt feelings, is accepting and recognizing them. They need to spend some time in their thoughts, in order to process those feelings to better explain them. Sometimes the ENFP struggles with being emotional in how they express themselves, and sometimes dealing with more direct people can make this challenging. If they feel like they need a moment to compose themselves, sometimes writing down their emotions can help them to explain things better and more clearly when the time comes. However, simply pushing their feelings aside and pretending everything is fine, really won’t be good for the ENFP. They really need to properly address the issues and why they got hurt in the first place, or they will struggle with connecting to this person the right ways. The ENFP won’t intend for this to happen, but those feelings will come out in more passive aggressive ways later on, or might even lead to them erupting when they are under stress. 

Being direct and honest about getting their feelings hurt, is the best way for the ENFP to move forward and make things right again. It isn’t always easy to take that next step in expressing themselves, especially if they have been hurt in the past by being vulnerable. ENFPs naturally want to be able to express themselves though, and prefer to be around people who can accept this. Being able to be honest when they have their feelings hurt actually helps the ENFP to move forward and let go of those emotions, instead of making them into a bigger deal. This is why expressing themselves is actually very important for the ENFP, instead of bottling things up.