ENFJ Sheltered: What Being Sheltered Does to the ENFJ Personality

While knowing someone’s personality type can help to understand them better, there are other things which can affect someone’s behavior. Some people are going to behave differently depending on how well they have developed certain function in their stack. For some growing up sheltered can cause them to focus too much on their dominant functions, and so they struggle to really develop other parts of themselves and grow in healthy ways. Being sheltered separates people from the world around them, and so their views can sometimes be altered because of this. 

When the ENFJ becomes overly sheltered from a young age, it can cause them to become a mix of spoiled and extremely self-sacrificing. They have a hard time figuring out how to create boundaries, especially with their family members. ENFJs are naturally giving people who care about making sure their loved ones are happy. When they have been sheltered they struggle to learn certain boundaries and ways of proper self-care, because they are so focused on everyone else. This is something most ENFJs struggle with throughout life, but they start to learn as they mature and uncover what is important to them. When they have been sheltered these habits can be harder for them to break, until they figure out how to grow and overcome those inner struggles.

The Sheltered ENFJ

The ENFJ who has been sheltered is likely caught up in their desire to please everyone. They take the responsibility onto their own shoulders of ensuring that everyone close to them is truly happy. They push themselves past their breaking point sometimes, just wanting to do whatever they can to tend to the needs of their loved ones. The sheltered ENFJ is often very attached to family, but this can cause them to avoid making their own choices. They don’t just consider how their actions will affect others, they ultimately base all of their choices on the needs of their family. This makes it hard for the ENFJ to ever truly figure themselves out, since they are so eager to please everyone else. Instead of taking time to dive into their own feelings and desires, the ENFJ is always hyper aware of what everyone else wants. Taking any time for themselves makes the ENFJ feel guilty, and like they are doing something wrong. This is because they have not allowed their weaker functions to develop, instead they are so focused on their dominant extraverted feelings, which focuses on the emotions of others. This can certainly become draining on the ENFJ after a while, even if they try to ignore those feelings. Everyone needs time for themselves, but the ENFJ who has been sheltered like has not learned those boundaries. They might feel like people depend on them too much to be perfect, and so they don’t want to make any mistakes.

This can also cause the ENFJ to avoid taking risks, and doing anything for themselves might feel like too much of a risk. They likely don’t know how to step outside of their comfort zone in order to explore something which might be exciting for them. They want to remain on a path which they know won’t hurt anyone close to them, instead they focus on these habits and things they understand and know well. ENFJs who have been sheltered can seem a bit spoiled, but this is simply because they can be unaware of some of the more complex things in the outside world. They likely veer away from in depth and complex theories, wanting to focus more on emotions than facts or logic. Being sheltered causes them to avoid their inferior introverted thinking functions, and so they don’t find it natural to analyze the facts, especially above emotion and compassion. The ENFJ likely has a hard time focusing on things outside their own inner world, and so this can cause them to feel disconnected at times. They don’t have a strong grasp on the many different angles of a situation, and are more drawn to what they know or have learned growing up. This can cause the ENFJ to become a bit more closed minded, which isn’t at all their intention or something they enjoy. They just have a hard time seeing outside of this, since the world around them has been closed to them in some ways. Instead of being able to view the many different options and viewpoints, the ENFJ can become only focused on their own inner world and the people close to them. This makes them appear somewhat stubborn about things, and they struggle to go against what their family believes in. ENFJs who have been sheltered simply don’t want to hurt the people they love, and so they constantly strive to live up to their expectations and this can cause them to be misunderstood.

The Healthy ENFJ

As ENFJs mature they start to figure out the best ways to break free from the expectations placed on them from a young age. They care about helping people just as much, but they start to learn boundaries and how to place them clearly for the people around them. Of course this will always be a bit of a struggle for them, but they start to navigate their limits a bit better over time. As they grow ENFJs start to learn that they need to set time for themselves, and need to stop draining themselves for those around them. They will always be giving and compassionate people, as caring for the emotions of others is part of who they are. The mature ENFJ simply starts to learn that they need to place boundaries for their own mental health and for the health of their relationships in the long-term. They are more willing to dive into themselves and figure out what they truly want out of life and who they are inside. They are also much more open to the different viewpoints of people outside of their own inner circles and inner minds.

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