Written By Kirsten Moodie
A Better Understanding of the ESFJ Male
People are often curious to learn what makes the ESFJ male different from the many female ESFJs they meet. They instantly assume that they would be more common or easy to spot, simply because of the statistics. Here are a few things to help you understand the ESFJ male a little better.
They Are Curious
The ESFJ male is often easy to spot because of his innate curiosity towards other people. They find people to be much more interesting than most other subjects, and because of this they often dive into asking many questions. They are driven to know what makes people tick, and learn as much as they can about them. They might be great at small-talk, but the ESFJ male likely prefers to dig even deeper into conversation. Just because they are skilled at calming the room and bringing a sense of harmony, doesn’t mean that the ESFJ isn’t eager to learn about someone on a deeper level. They simply do not feel comfortable pushing people and will be willing to provide whatever topics the other person desires most.
While many logic driven males are focused on a hunger for knowledge, the ESFJ male is focused on understanding people and how they operate. This is actually a skill that can help them go far in life, and will assist the ESFJ male in many different careers. Being able to respond to people in a diplomatic and charismatic manner, is something that ESFJ male possesses in abundance.
They Are Driven
They are often extremely driven people, and prefer to focus on the future. They want to plan for what is ahead of them, and dislike staying stuck in one place for too long. This often surprises people, since they expect the ESFJ to be comfortable in the same place for a long time. They desire to prepare for the future, and actually enjoy thinking about the different options that they have. This also causes the ESFJ male to be more interested in finding a companion, than a flighty one night stand. They might struggle with this in their younger years, since people can place certain expectations on them that they feel they have to follow. As the ESFJ male gets older he will likely be seen as the “nice guy,” but this is likely the truth. They want to find someone who will be with them, and who they can plan a positive future around.
Their younger years might be a bit different than how the ESFJ male behaves once he has matured. Trying to fit into social expectations can be a struggle, and is something that the ESFJ needs to overcome. With time though, they will likely find a healthy balance of what they want and what others expect from them.
They Are Compassionate
Being so focused on emotions, can often make feeler types appear clingier. This is simply because they are compassionate and naturally in tune with the emotions of others. They can sense when something is wrong, and because of this they want to do whatever they can to make the situation better. The ESFJ male might dislike this side of themselves, since they don’t want to appear clingy in any way. They simply have empathetic souls, and desire to make others as happy as they possibly can. They are especially focused on family and close loved ones, and will often plan their lives in accordance to these people. ESFJ males will often follow whatever idea their family wants for them, and might struggle if they do not have this guidance in their younger years. Family is important to the ESFJ male, and it something they need to be able to incorporate into their lives.
They Aren’t Always What They Seem
The general opinion of ESFJ men is that they are going to overcompensate and attempt to appear more masculine. In truth, the ESFJ male is often comfortable expressing whatever masculine or feminine qualities that he possesses. It can be difficult for them however, when it comes to how they make their decisions. They are not void of logic, but the ESFJ male prefers to make decisions based on how they will affect the emotions of others. This can throw people off, especially since they expect most men to make decisions based on logic. The ESFJ male will often analyze the situation and will understand the most logical solutions, but will prefer to focus on the emotional affects it will have on others. They care deeply about people, and prefer to focus on actions that can help the well-being of others.
Their desire to be social and help others, can often cause them to appear flirtier than they actually are. They are simply friendly individuals who are strongly focused on the emotional needs of others. This can create tension in relationships, especially if their romantic partner is easily jealous. It is important for people to understand that the ESFJ male is simply friendly and enjoys doing whatever they can to help and provide for those around them.
Just like ESFJ females, the ESFJ male can often drain himself trying to help others. This constant desire to provide for their loved ones, can become overwhelming after a while. Ignoring their own emotional needs for the sake of their loved ones, is a struggle that all ESFJs have to face. It is important that the people closest to them provide for the ESFJ as well, and find ways to help them self-care. With warm and deeply giving personalities- the ESFJ male is truly a great catch.