INTJ Empathy: How Well the INTJ Empathizes With Others
When it comes to empathy it can be a difficult thing to teach, but not impossible for people to learn over time. Most of the time though, we have a natural sense of empathy or we do not. Empathy simply means having a strong understanding or natural grasp of the emotions and intentions of others. Being able to empathize means being able to fully step into someone else’s shoes and understand what they are going through, without having to experience it firsthand. Some people can be caring and sympathetic, but that does not mean they are good at empathizing, as this isn’t always an easy ability to manage or deal with,
INTJs are not seen as empathetic people, in reality it isn’t something which comes naturally to them. This doesn’t mean they cannot sympathize with others, but INTJs are much more focused on logic and facts than they are emotions. When the INTJ does have a connection with feelings, it is their own inner morals which dominate, not their empathy for others. They can certainly be giving and loving people, but that doesn’t mean they naturally empathize with people, especially people they don’t agree with. For the INTJ it is more complex though, as they can certainly be open to trying to understand where others are coming from.
For INTJs seeing things from someone else’s perfect isn’t something which is impossible, it just comes from a different place than for feeling types. When the INTJ tries to see other points of views, this comes from their acute observational skills. They can pay close attention to the details and behaviors of others, in order to understand their intentions and what they are going through. They can certainly search for ways to see the logic of those around them, and are good at picking up on that type of information. INTJs can connect with people in this way, but it is more tied to facts and reason than it is emotions or feelings. They want to do their best to see things from different perspectives, mostly so that they can understand people’s motivations and better predict their actions. This also helps the INTJ to problem solve, especially with someone who is coming to them for help.
INTJs however, do not empathize with emotions quite as easily, especially if they don’t really agree with someone. They have their own inner sense of morals and INTJs don’t find it easy to be proven wrong. When they are firm about something they need a person who is willing to really prove their point and use facts and logic to do so. Emotions don’t really resonate with INTJs as naturally, not because they don’t feel them deeply, simply because they don’t trust them as much. They prefer to rely on facts and practical means, instead of allowing inner emotions to cloud their judgment. This causes the INTJ to avoid trying to empathize with feelings most of the time, as they don’t see them as being all that efficient or useful. For the INTJ trying to connect with someone else’s emotions in order to empathize with them, just isn’t something which comes naturally.
For the INTJ it is more natural to stand firm in their own beliefs, even though they are open to being proven wrong. They spend a lot of time gaining information in order to be sure of their choices and beliefs. They have their own inner morals, which makes it harder for them to empathize with the emotions of someone else. Feelings just aren’t an area the INTJ is all that comfortable with, as they don’t really trust or rely on them to understand things better. For the INTJ their own beliefs are something they don’t want to waver from, simply by trying to understand the intentions of someone else. Empathy isn’t necessary impossible for them, INTJs do care about their loved ones and want to be able to understand them. They just aren’t as focused on using emotional connection to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. For them it is more like a logical empathy, a means of seeing all of the information and using that to figure out the person’s intentions. Being so analytical can really help the INTJ, especially when it comes to trying to understand people.
Just because certain kinds of empathy aren’t natural for the INTJ, doesn’t mean they cannot understand people. They are good at using their observational skills in order to get a better grasp on where someone might be coming from, but that doesn’t mean they totally empathize. INTJs still keep their distance in these situations, not wanting anything to deter them from their goals and from standing by what they know to be true. When the INTJ is sure of something it is difficult for them to really be swayed, and they don’t want to waver simply because they care for someone. They are strong-willed and sometimes stubborn people, not believing that it is important to always understand the emotions of others. For them it is more of a personal thing, and so they don’t always need to empathize with them in order to logically figure out why they behave a certain way. For the INTJ this can become draining after a while, especially if it deters them from their focus. This doesn’t mean they are not capable of being very supportive and caring to their loved ones. When the INTJ cares for someone they do their best to always be there for them, and can be incredibly loyal. No matter how much they care, emotional expression is never really natural or easy for them. They also struggle when it comes to empathizing with their partner or loved ones emotions, as they are more likely to look at things from a practical point of view.