INTJ Needs: The 5 Most Essential Needs of the INTJ Personality
Sometimes uncovering our own personal needs can be challenging, and doesn’t always come naturally. We expect that we will simply know and recognize our own inner needs and desires, but for some people learning about themselves is a process which takes time and reflection. While it might not always be an easy question to ask, learning about our own inner needs is a vital part of being content within ourselves. In order to go after the things we want, as well as make relationships work, we must understand the things we need most from ourselves and from others.
INTJs are complex people with their own set of needs and desires from life. INTJs don’t often focus as much on their inner feelings and can be much more practical and logical with the things they need. While they should definitely pay attention to their emotions a bit more, usually they can get a firm grasp on their most basic and important desires and needs. INTJs are clear about the things they want in life, and have a strong sense of direction which helps them to achieve their most important goals. They work hard and don’t believe in being shy about what they need from those around them as well, especially when this pertains to needing space.
1. Time Alone
For the INTJ alone time is one of the most vital needs, and so they really need to set boundaries pertaining to this. Without plenty of space and time to themselves the INTJ becomes drained and overwhelmed. They need this time to process their own inner thoughts and ideas. While some people might not naturally comprehend this need, the INTJ cannot simply pretend or ignore it. They need to set clear boundaries so that the people close to them realize they are serious. Having this time to themselves is not only relaxing and rewarding for the INTJ, but it is absolutely necessary. It helps them process all of the things inside of their minds, and even sift through feelings they have for other people. Without taking this time to really process everything they’ve experienced throughout the day, the INTJ becomes a shell of themselves. They will also become short-tempered when they don’t want to be, and so it is best if they demand this time to themselves before it becomes an issue.
INTJs are highly independent people, and so they need those around them to respect this. Without having that respect the INTJ is likely to become frustrated and might start to push people away. Their sense of independence is a major part of who they are, as they want to be able to accomplish their goals with a sense of personal pride. While INTJs do want to have close relationships and are very loyal to their loved ones, that doesn’t change the fact that they need their space. INTJs make decisions based on logic and facts, and they don’t want anyone trying to sway them with emotional connection. They need time to make choices on their own terms without constant interference. While the INTJ can certainly benefit from asking for help sometimes, that isn’t something they want to do constantly. For the INTJ independence is about being able to care for themselves and make their own decisions without constantly relying on someone else. This is what helps keep their minds clear and their focus where it needs to be.
INTJs need to feel challenged in life or else they become bored and stagnant. They want to constantly keep their minds moving forward and enjoy pushing their own limits. For the INTJ sometimes this challenge comes from debating with a person who can bring up unique and intelligent ideas for discussion. INTJs actually crave this type of interaction and enjoy being around people who can really challenge them and keep up with their own active minds. Having people and projects which can challenge the INTJ and keep them growing and pushing themselves, is truly rewarding for them. They don’t want to feel stagnant or like they aren’t making progress, and so for them feeling a bit of a hurdle to overcome is actually rewarding.
4. Honesty, Especially From Their Loved Ones
INTJs value a sense of honesty, especially from the people closest to them. They want the people around them to be upfront and concise about their feelings and beliefs. They don’t like when people constantly feel the need to be subtle about their intentions, as this can be confusing for the INTJ. They aren’t naturally good with emotions, and so if someone is upset with them the INTJ wants this laid out clearly. They would rather this person try to use facts and logical details to explain, but they favor honesty over trying to be passive aggressive about things. The INTJ wants people around them who will be upfront, rather than attempt to spare their feelings. To the INTJ honest is a sign of great respect, which is why they strive to always be upfront and honest with their loved ones.
INTJs want to feel a sense of understanding and respect from those closest to them. They are a rare personality type, and so this does cause them to feel easily misunderstood by people around them. While INTJs don’t need everything about themselves to be easily understood, they do crave having at least one person who takes the time to learn who they are beneath the surface. INTJs might not be emotionally expressive people, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to feel like someone truly gets them on a deeper level. Having someone in their life who can peel back the layers of the INTJ and be patient enough to learn who they are, is truly valuable and important. They really only need one person to fill this role, and this is something they will appreciate and treasure always.