Written By Kirsten Moodie
Insights Into the Soul of the Female ESFJ Personality
Each type has its own set of stereotypes which likely do not match up with who they are. The ESFJ woman can definitely fall victim to some of these false judgements, but that is often because they are more misunderstood than people realize. So here are just a few insights into the soul of the ESFJ female.
They Are Incredibly Giving
The ESFJ woman is focused on caring for the needs of others, making her a natural born nurturer. She strives to ensure the happiness of others, and is very capable of understanding the emotions of people. ESFJ woman are naturally connected to how others are feeling, and can often sense exactly what their emotional state is. This helps them find ways to calm a room, and work to bring people together. They can sometimes be seen as meddling, but that is only because the ESFJ wants to do their best to please people.
They often give until they are about to break themselves, and then continue to give. The ESFJ woman simply want to be viewed as strong and capable, without being selfish. They rarely focus on their own needs, instead they push their feelings aside in order to help others. This is something they can struggle with when the ESFJ is younger, and might cause them some trouble. Their desire to care for others causes them to neglect themselves, which can lead to the ESFJ having breakdowns. As the ESFJ matures they often come to realize how important it is that they actually tend to their own needs. In order to properly care for the people they love, the ESFJ needs to prioritize themselves or else they will fall apart.
They Value Intelligence
ESFJs women can be misunderstood, but this is something that often surprises people. They seem to be solely focused on emotions, but in truth they value intelligence greatly. Most ESFJ women actually find themselves attracted to people who are intelligent and talented in different ways. They do not just connect with people based on shallow things, and are often drawn to the spirit of a person. They actually value intelligence, and want this to be a quality that people see in them as well. ESFJ women don’t simply want to be viewed as outwardly attractive, but find that inner beauty is the most valuable quality. This is something that most people don’t ever recognize about the ESFJ woman, especially if the people closest to her have somewhat shallow tendencies.
They Believe In Compassion
ESFJs believe in being compassionate towards others, and don’t like when they see cruelty in the world. It can truly upset ESFJs when they witness people causing others pain, they can become extremely defensive towards those people. ESFJs become especially aggressive if they see someone trying to hurt one of their loved ones, and will jump to their defense quickly. They often despise arrogance, and hate seeing people who look down on others. ESFJs believe in showing compassion, especially towards those who are weak or truly in need of it.
Sometimes They Can Get Caught Up In a Role
Some stereotypes can peg ESFJs are shallow, but this is absolutely not the case. The number one focus of the ESFJ is to see other people happy, and to help make this happen. They do not like seeing others in pain, and can become hurt themselves when they witness it. ESFJs can sometimes become caught up in a role, especially depending on their upbringing. They respond based on their surroundings, and can become pushed into a direction if their family pressures them in that direction. They simply want to please others, and because of this they can sometimes be forced into a role that does not fit them.
This is a constant challenge for the ESFJ woman, and is something they need to overcome eventually. Deep down the ESFJ woman is the furthest thing from shallow, and is almost always more concerned with the inside of someone’s soul. Certain stereotypes can peg them as gossips, but in truth ESFJs don’t want to do anything that hurts another person and gossiping can do this. They can simply become caught up in a role, in order to please their loved ones. If they are being true to themselves, the ESFJ woman is strong and loving all at once.
They Experience Feelings of Guilt
ESFJs actually experience a lot of guilt, often for absolutely no reason at all. They can be extremely hard on themselves, especially if they feel like they aren’t doing enough for others. The ESFJ woman often strives to reach a certain level of perfection, and can struggle if they don’t believe they can reach this. They will feel guilty if they take time for themselves, and have to work to overcome these negative feelings. The ESFJ simply want to see other people happy, and hate causing pain in anyway. This makes them easy targets for manipulative people, which is something that can cause them problems in life. Being someone who is always caring for the needs of others, can definitely be an incentive for emotionally abusive people to sneak in. It is important for the ESFJ woman to take charge of her own life, and realize when to draw the line. She needs to learn to recognize when someone is deserving of her help, and when they are simply using her for their own gain. Learning to take care of themselves, is an important step for the ESFJ, especially the ESFJ female.
They Need Help Too
The ESFJ woman is constantly striving to care for the needs of everyone else, but this can cause her to exhaust herself. ESFJs are people pleasers, who work hard to make other people as happy as possible. They will continue to do what they are asked, even when it becomes overwhelming for them. Constantly caring for others can cause the ESFJ to feel a bit exhausted and sometimes unappreciated. It is important that their loved ones take notice when their ESFJ is becoming drained and is in need of some help. They will rarely ask for assistance, and instead will begin to show signs that they are becoming burnt out. The Fe burnout is a very real thing, and it is something that ESFJs can suffer from rather easily. When their loved ones do not show them appreciation for their efforts, it can weigh them down even worse. They truly need the people close to them to step up and show them appreciation for all of their hard work. They do need help once in a while, but often want to be viewed as perfect. The ESFJ truly needs their loved ones to be there for them, and to pick up the slack when they are clearly overwhelmed.
Although the ESFJ female won’t ask for it, she needs her loved ones to be there for her. ESFJs work hard to make others happy, and because of this they simply need affection and appreciation in return. They will be fiercely loyal and giving, and simply want to see their loved ones happy. Having the ESFJ woman in your life means that you are loved, and that no matter what she will strive to see you smile. It means having someone who will go to great lengths for you, and will likely do anything you ask.
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