Written By Kirsten Moodie
How To Deal With The Fe (Extraverted Feeling) Burnout
When it comes to understanding your Myers-Briggs type, it is very important to understand the functions as well. Fe or Extraverted Feeling deals with the emotions of others and is naturally in tune with what other people are feeling. This is something strongly seen in ENFJs and ESFJs, but is also the auxiliary (secondary) function of INFJs and ISFJs. There are other types who exhibit Fe who would also benefit from understanding the Fe Burnout reaction.
There is little written about this occurrence, so we felt it was important to enlighten people on what it actually is. This can be an important thing to understand for Fe users, but is also important for people who care for someone with strong Fe. Learning everything you can about the burnout can really help heal your loved ones when they are in need.
What is It?
The Fe Burnout is when the Fe user begins to feel drained by the emotions of others and will often start exhibiting behavior rather different from their norm. Even though we all have our dominant functions, that does not mean overusing these functions cannot burn us out. Fe may come naturally to some people, but it can also be something that causes those people to tire after a while.
The Fe Burnout is simply a reaction to having your Extraverted Feeling overworked and unappreciated. When the Fe user becomes drained they will begin to show signs of stress and may not appear like their usual self.
How It Presents Itself
A healthy Fe user is often seen as a caretaker, someone who enjoys tending to the needs of others. The fact that they are acutely aware of the the emotions of those around them, often makes them desire to help others feel better. They can often sense when the mood of a room is low and will find ways to bring harmony to their environment. They are genuinely giving individuals who search for ways to care for the emotional and physical needs of the people around them.
When a Fe user is going through a burnout, they will not longer appear like their usual attentive selves. They will often become moody and might even snap rather quickly at those around them. Someone who ordinarily would tend to the needs of others, might become agitated when someone asks for something from them. They may even use statements like “what about me?” and “no one seems to care about my feelings.” These are clear signs that the Fe user is suffering from an emotional burnout and may need some assistance from their loved ones.
You may find that this once understanding and compassionate person, is not much less tactful and much more on edge. They will likely be much harsher with their delivery of words and might begin to favor precision over tact. They may continue to tend to do the needs of others, but this will happen in a less efficient and considerate way. It may begin to feel like their once caring personalities are not becoming bitter and frustrated.
Why It Occurs
This often occurs because the Fe user is feeling unappreciated and unloved by those around them. They do spend much of their time tending to the needs of others, but no one person can go on like this forever. If they feel they haven’t been spending enough time caring for their own needs, the burnout might occur. The Fe user is simply feeling drained and overworked from ignoring their own personal needs and emotions for far too long.
Strong Fe users have a tendency to neglect their own internal emotions for the sake of focusing on the emotions of others. They may even feel guilty when they ask for something or when they feel the need to express their emotions. Bottling up their own needs and feelings for a long time can cause a seriously negative reaction. The Fe user will become drained and will no longer feel like they have the energy to care for others. This will often frustrate them even more, because they truly do thrive when they are making those around them happy. When they no longer have the emotional energy to care for people, it will often cause them to try even harder to do so. When they push themselves in this way, the Fe user will often suffer a serious burnout.
How to Mend the Burnout
When someone is suffering from a serious Fe drain, there are definitely ways in which this can be mended. The first step in getting back to their normal selves, is to take a much needed break from their daily tasks. The Fe user needs to take a step back and breathe, so that they can focus on their own needs that have been neglected for so long. They will need to take some personal time to focus on some of the practical things in their lives that have been pushed aside. Taking this time to focus on what they have been neglecting is going to help the Fe user immensely, but getting them to do this may be challenging.
Spending some time alone can be a great way to regain some composure, even for extroverts. If the Fe individual can spend some time collecting their thoughts and doing the things that they personally enjoy, it will help them get back to the way they were. Whether these activities are things like hiking or simply sitting alone listening to music, it is important to take aside time for themselves. Having this time alone to focus on their own joy, without feeling the pressure from others, is exactly what the Fe user needs.
It is important for any Fe user who is feeling completely exhausted, to take the time to focus on their own needs. This is something that they may struggle with at first, since their natural way is to focus on the wants of others. Even though it may be difficult, it is important for them to focus on themselves in order to be capable of caring for other people once again. You cannot give to others when you aren’t properly taking care of yourself, and this is an important thing for Fe users to remember. It is also important for the Fe individual to take some time to process their own internal emotions. They must focus on what they feel is missing and learn to ask for what they need from the people around them. It may be difficult at first, but over time it will become easier.
It is important for the people around the Fe user to take the time to show them appreciation. When they are suffering through a burnout, it is often because they feel undervalued. Positive words of affirmation can truly help them get back to their normal selves. Just taking some time to let them know how much you appreciate everything that they do for you, can really go a long way. It can also be helpful to listen to them and ask them what it is that they want from you.
Once the Fe user has taken some time alone to regroup and figure out what they need, it is important that they take the time to ask for those things as well. Once they finally feel like they are being appreciated and like their own needs are being met, they will quickly find themselves getting back to their usual selves. The Fe burnout can be a rather exhausting experience for the individual suffering from it, but it is simply a normal part of being human. Taking the time to consider their own personal needs and emotions is extremely important for the Fe user, even if it might be difficult for them to do so.
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