Here’s How Often You Push People Away, Based on Your Personality Type

For some people it seems easier to push others away, especially when they actually start to care about them. Self-sabotage can be rather common with some types, often this comes from a fear of vulnerability, but there are many other reasons as well. Here is how often you push others away, based on your personality type.



INFJs can certainly be prone to pushing people away, often from fear of getting hurt. They are said to have many layers for a reason, mostly because INFJs are afraid of completely opening up to others. These layers help protect them from people who would insult their inner self, and so they try to avoid letting this happen. Sometimes when the INFJ feels someone getting too close they can start to push them away or sabotage their connection, and this is rarely done intentionally. INFJs are simply looking for people who are willing to see past this and who care enough to stick around.


ENFJs can sometimes push people away, mostly when they fear they will leave anyways. They try to make lasting connections but there are times when they can certainly fear abandonment. ENFJs can appear rather open to most people, but there is often a depth of thoughts and emotions that they keep inside. ENFJs fear that if they are not perfect then people will leave them, so they can start to push people away when they become close enough to see their imperfections.


INFPs try not to push people away, and are often searching for people to connect with. They might have moments where they feel overwhelmed and need time to themselves, and in these moments they try to gain some space. This isn’t done to push people away though, and is only because they require plenty of alone time in order to recharge. INFPs can be afraid of getting hurt, but they don’t want to push anyone away who might actually mean something to them.


ENFPs do have moments where they can keep people at arm’s length, but they try not to push them away completely. They can become afraid of completely letting someone in, but that doesn’t mean they want to lose them. This can turn into a game of keeping people at a distance, but also trying to keep them in their lives. It can be confusing for their loved ones, but deep down the ENFP truly just wants to feel safe being themselves around the people they love most.



INTJs can certainly push people away, especially if they feel a bit overwhelmed and confused by their emotions. They don’t like the idea of being too vulnerable, and sometimes feel like emotions can cloud their judgment. Most INTJs do try to make connections that will last, but sometimes they can subconsciously push others away when they get too close. This isn’t something they actively try to do, unless they feel like this person is not someone they should be investing their time and energy on.


ENTJs try not to push people away who they can sincerely see building a connection with. When they care for someone and the situation seems right, they want to make this person a permanent part of their lives. ENTJs value loyalty very much, and simply want to have people in their lives who will be there no matter what. They don’t try to push these people away, although their desire to be precise and efficient can sometimes do this inadvertently. In most situations ENTJs can find a way to make things work and will want to connect with people who understand them.


INTPs can definitely push people away, but this is rarely something they do intentionally. When they start to feel things very deeply it can be a bit overwhelming for them, especially since they prefer to focus on logic and facts. Emotions are hard to understand and this can leave the INTP feeling overwhelmed by their feelings for someone. This can sometimes cause them to push others away, but deep down the INTP often hopes that they will come back to them.


ENTPs don’t usually try to push people away, but it can happen sometimes. They can struggle to really dive into their emotions and this can cause them to unintentionally push away the people closest to them. ENTPs either replace their feelings with logic or humor, trying to express it in a way that feels easier for them to understand. This can sometimes confuse their loved ones, but ENTPs don’t often intend for this to happen. They want to be capable of making real and lasting connections without sabotaging these relationships.



ISTJs don’t often try to push people away, especially when they find someone they truly care for. ISTJs are loyal people who are rarely afraid to go after what they want in life. When they do find people who they believe are right for them, they do whatever they can to make things work. They don’t easily express themselves in an emotional manner, but ISTJs often find ways to make their feelings known in more direct and practical ways.


ESTJs definitely don’t try to push people away, especially the ones they care about most. When the ESTJ wants something in life they go after it with everything they have. When they care for someone and want them in their lives, the ESTJ will make their desires known. They don’t like pushing people away, especially the ones who they can see having in their lives for a long time. They are strong-willed people who do whatever it takes to accomplish their goals, and this includes making connections.


ISFJs definitely try not to push away the ones they love, instead they want to keep them close. They aren’t afraid of making connections with people, they simply want to make them last. ISFJs care about their loved ones and will often do whatever it takes to make them happy. They can be afraid of abandonment, but they don’t try to push people away in order to avoid this. Instead ISFJs do whatever they can to please the ones around them in hopes of maintaining these relationships.


ESFJs often try to do the opposite of push people away, they usually want to keep them close. When they truly care about someone they do their best to maintain their relationship and will strive to please this person. ESFJs can sometimes try to be perfect in order to make others happy and will do whatever it takes to provide for them. Their desire to keep their loved ones close can sometimes come from a fear of abandonment, but they rarely push people away in order to avoid getting hurt.




ISTPs can sometimes push people away, mostly because they prefer their solitude. This desire to be on their own can make it difficult for them to maintain some connections. ISTPs don’t feel like they need people most of the time, and so they would often rather push them away. When they find the ones they truly care for and want to remain close to, the ISTP will do their best to make things work and make their feelings known.


ESTPs try not to push people away, but sometimes this can happen regardless. When they care for someone it can seem a bit intense at times, causing their loved ones to feel overwhelmed. ESTPs are passionate people who live very much in the present moment, and this can cause their feelings to seem a bit all over the place at times. They don’t want to push people away when they care, but there are times instances when they push people away who simply aren’t right for them.


ISFPs rarely push people away, unless they feel like those people simply aren’t right for them. They are often looking for the ones who understand them and who can truly connect with them on a deeper level. This can make it seem like the ISFP pushes people away, but they are simply always on the hunt for the right connections. They don’t want to settle when it comes to their relationships, they want to find the right ones who will truly get them.


ESFPs really don’t like to push away the people they care for, instead they want to keep them close. ESFPs don’t like the idea of being lonely and prefer to have people in their lives who love them. They want to make connections and feel close to the people in their lives, and this often means a lot to them. ESFPs don’t push people away very often, instead they do their best to build on their relationships and keep them close.

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