INTJ Feelings & Emotions: How the INTJ Handles Inner Feelings
While everyone experiences emotions and feelings, it doesn’t mean they take these things in the same way. Everyone processes and expresses their emotions differently, but some of this can be understood better by understanding personality types. For the INTJ it can be a much different process, and can also be overwhelming for them at times. Since INTJs don’t focus on emotions as much as others might, it can be difficult for them when these emotions do surface.
They Favor Logic
While INTJs do feel things deeply, that doesn’t mean they focus on these emotions. They often prefer to find justification for their feelings, and tie them to more logical processes and thoughts. INTJs want to be able to find logical explanations for things, or they struggle to trust them. Because they are more drawn to facts and logic it becomes difficult to rely on or believe in these emotions. They would rather find proof of things, and so most of the time feelings don’t have proof or solid reasonings which they can hold onto. They want everything in their lives to have something they can really grasp onto, some sort of evidence so that they aren’t taking pointless risks. Since the INTJ struggles to really trust emotions or feelings, it makes it difficult for them to rely on them. They have a hard time allowing themselves to dive into these emotions, even if they are meaningful to them.
INTJs do care about their loved ones and will pay attention to those feelings, but they don’t want to allow them to control their choices. Instead they express their caring by more practical means and want to do what they can to help the people around them to achieve their goals. INTJs will focus on problem solving and doing what they can to make sure the people they love are successful. It is simply more natural for the INTJ to focus on these practical means of making people happy, rather than expressing their feelings in emotional ways. For the INTJ people who cannot control these emotions and be more rational about them, are often reckless and untrustworthy.
They Often Ignore Their Feelings
The INTJ does have a tendency to bury their own emotions, which can sometimes become problematic for them. When they push these feelings aside for too long they can start to build up, which may lead to the INTJ snapping when they feel the build up of stress and pressure. INTJs do this because they are trying to avoid diving into these feelings which are often hard for them to understand. They would rather focus on things which are more practical, but burying their emotions doesn’t get rid of them. INTJs still feel things deeply, and experience these emotions just like anyone else. They simply don’t want to focus on them, and so at times it can be something which causes excess stress in their lives.
This is why it can become difficult for the loved ones of the INTJ at times, since they don’t naturally express these feelings. Instead of expressing their emotions outwardly, they find other practical means of doing so. This can be confusing for people at times, and causes the INTJ to seem cold or uncaring when that is not the case. They just don’t really know how to process these feelings and express them in a way that others can understand or appreciate. So for the INTJ doing practical things for those they love and trying to help them improve their lives, is one of the greatest signs that they care.
Writing Is The Key
For the INTJ one of the best and most efficient ways to express their feelings, is by addressing and writing about them. They can often find it much more comfortable writing these thoughts and emotions down, rather than having to express them verbally. This removes the pressure and gives them time to really think it through and understand what they are going through. Sometimes just writing it all out by themselves, gives the INTJ a chance to be honest with themselves about these feelings. It also helps them feel less like they will be judged, and less like they have to be careful with each precise word. Even if the INTJ doesn’t want to share this journal or writing with someone, it is still a useful tool to help them understand and work through their emotions. Sometimes it helps them find the words to say later on, when someone they love is needing some kind of reassurance from their INTJ.
Sometimes the struggle for the INTJ is letting their guard down, since they can be perfectionists. It isn’t easy for them to feel vulnerable, as they want to always be sure they are getting things done right and efficiently. Being vulnerable leaves them exposed to judgments and even to making mistakes with someone. INTJs struggle with this most of the time, and don’t feel comfortable really feeling this exposed to someone else. When they do find the right person they can trust it is important for them to take the time to express their feelings, even if they need to do this by writing them out. While it might be a challenging process INTJs value growth, and they do want to be able to better themselves. The more INTJ will value the chance to grow and become more aware of their emotions, even if the process can be challenging at times. But the important thing to remember is that just because INTJs might not express these feelings outwardly, it doesn’t mean they don’t feel them just like everyone else does. They are complex people with many values, and their own unique way of approaching things.