ENFP Loneliness: What Makes the ENFP Lonely
Anyone can feel lonely, for some people it can feel like a constant struggle. Loneliness isn’t the same as just being alone, and is a much deeper feeling. Some people experience this loneliness when they are surrounded by people, because they never truly feel like people are listening or connecting with them. Being alone also doesn’t always create this sense of loneliness, and so the feelings is something much more complicated than simply having people around you. For some people it can be an ongoing search to find those connections which will make them feel complete and understood.
ENFPs are outgoing and friendly people who are often viewed as being rather popular. Since they make friends easily this can cause people to assume that they don’t experience loneliness might have many friends but that does not mean they are never lonely. Sometimes the ENFP can feel this way because they don’t feel a sincere and deep connection with the people around them. They want to feel close to people, and not just have surface bonds without something which goes much deeper. ENFPs do feel lonely sometimes, and this is something which can be hard for them since they have very powerful inner emotions.
Lack of Connection
ENFPs might have a lot of friends but sometimes the quantity can actually make things worse for them. Having all of these friendships but not really feeling understood can be upsetting and troubling. They want to feel like they are connected to the people around them, and have something much deeper than just a surface friendship. When the ENFP doesn’t feel like they have something truly special and beyond the shallow, then they will feel deeply lonely. They want to feel like they are understood and appreciated by the people close to them. Without this type of intimate understanding the ENFP will feel lonely even if they are surrounded by people. This is something the ENFP can struggle to understand, and so they might continue to try and connect with new people in hopes of getting rid of this loneliness. ENFPs want to feel close to people and really don’t like those negative feelings, and so they try their best to solve this by making new friends and trying to avoid being alone.
While ENFPs make friends easily, it can be hard for them to make connections which really spark them in a real way. That doesn’t mean they don’t like a lot of the people they meet, it just means they don’t feel something truly special and deep with them. This can make the ENFP feel lonely, as they struggle to find bonds and connections which make them feel truly inspired and excited. They want something which is truly special and can often idealize the idea of finding friends and romantic connections which make them feel as if it can last forever. For the ENFP it is about so much more than being popular, but instead about finding someone who understands them for who they are. ENFPs can feel misunderstood, seen only as positive and eager people, when in truth they have so much more to them than just this. They want people who can see the darker parts of them, and love them for this as well. Feeling lonely around friends can be a painful and confusing feeling for the ENFP, since they often assuming making those bonds will help them to quell the loneliness and feel connected. Not everyone they meet is going to bring them peace and understanding, and so they need to be more discerning with who they try to grow closer to and instead base this on their intuition. ENFPs might see the good in people, and while this isn’t a bad thing it can make their lives a bit harder sometimes.
Tools to Cope
ENFPs who are feeling lonely can find comfort in learning more about what they truly want from their relationships. Learning about what would make them happy, and being vulnerable enough to open up in the right ways. They need to find someone who they trust, so that they can open up to them and reach a deeper sense of understanding. ENFPs can have layers to what they show people, and so just showing this outside image isn’t going to make them feel appreciated and understood. They need to allow people to see beyond the surface and see the parts of themselves they might even be afraid of. ENFPs are good at listening to people, and they enjoy being able to have long and in-depth conversations, they just need to find the right people who want to hear about who they are as well. They can also benefit from trying to connect with people who share similar interests, so that they have something in common they can actually discuss.
They need to realize that loneliness won’t just go away because they are with someone romantically, as it requires something deeper than this. The ENFP also needs to dive into understanding themselves, and accepting who they are and the things they want and feel. They are complex people, but sometimes they look outward to expel these lonely feelings. The first step is to search inwardly, and learn to no longer feel lonely when they are simply with themselves. Seeking comfort in their own thoughts and desires can help the ENFP to grow and remove these lonely emotions from their lives. In order to really connect with others, they need to grow in confidence and self-awareness.
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