The Ways in Which Each Myers-Briggs Type Handles Jealousy
Even the most comfortable person experiences the occasional feelings of jealousy. Everyone may respond to these feelings in different ways. Here is how each personality type responds to their jealous emotions.
INFJs often do not want to become jealous in a relationship. The problem is that INFJs are very aware of other people’s behaviors and if they are jealous it is often within reason. They can sense if someone is drifting away from them, or if that someone is going behind their back. Because of this the INFJ may become jealous and upset over their significant others actions. An INFJ who has experienced loss and abandonment may use manipulation to convince people to stay present in their lives. If they are used to being betrayed their trust issues may get the better of them. An INFJ who is in a secure relationship will do very well and be capable of maintaining healthy levels of jealousy.
ENFJs care very much how others perceive them and want their loved ones to rely on them. Because of this strong need to make others happy, ENFJs may be prone to jealousy. They often become uncomfortable if their loved one is going to others for things that they can easily provide for them. If they feel like they are being phased out, or are no longer appreciated they may become jealous. ENFJs are very skilled at reading other people’s emotions and figuring out if they are being honest. If the ENFJ senses that something is wrong they may show signs of jealousy and attempt to figure out what is going on. ENFJs want to do their best to achieve close to perfection, because of this they may be prone to jealousy more than they would like to admit.
INFPs often keep their jealousy bottled up and are very internal about it. When they are capable of keeping it to themselves they can often reason with themselves and figure out why they are feeling this emotion. The INFP will often try to work out what is wrong and convince themselves that they should not be jealous. INFPs have a lot of experience with understanding their own emotions, so they will be good at figuring out if their jealousy is just or not. They want to feel close to their loved ones and may feel jealous if they are not spending quality time with them. INFPs want a clear understanding with their significant others, and expect to receive the same trust that they give. Because of their desire for something real, INFPs will dislike being jealous in a relationship.
ENFPs are often very self-aware and are capable of noticing when they are becoming jealous. A healthy ENFP will often see it as a normal human experience, and will outright admit when they are feeling jealous. ENFPs mostly want to feel comfortable in their own skin and will rarely become jealous in romantic relationships. Their jealousy is more likely to come from other people succeeded at something they struggle with. Their jealousy does not usually come from a begrudging position, but rather that they wish they could achieve that as well. They may take it as a challenge and strive to better themselves. Like everyone the ENFP is capable of being jealous, but they truly do not enjoy harboring it and will try to work around that feeling.
INTJs are very unlikely to be jealous of another person, whether that be close relationships or not. They don’t want to make others feel caged or controlled and wish for the same respect in return. They are confident in their own strengths and do not see any reason for being jealous of others. If they feel like someone is doing better than them, that just drives the INTJ to work harder. They enjoy the inspiration of a challenge and enjoy bettering themselves. INTJs choose their close relationships very carefully, and only surround themselves with people that they feel they can trust. Because of this the INTJ feels comfortable allowing their significant other to have plenty of space. They know if they can trust someone or not, and have clearly set guidelines for the relationship.
ENTJs are often not jealous in their day-to-day lives. They have a tendency to channel any jealousy they may feel into bettering themselves. If they feel like someone else is getting the job done better than they are, the ENTJ will feel a drive to beat that person. They use this jealous as fuel to becoming the best they can be. ENTJs may be prone to jealousy when it comes to close friends or relationships. They place a strong emphasis on loyalty, and have little patience for people who they cannot trust. They want to know that the people around them are going to be there for them, because the ENTJ gives the same loyalty in return. This may cause them to be jealous if the people close to them do not appear trustworthy.
INTPs do not tend to become jealous of others. If someone is doing better than them it makes them feel a sense of competition rather than jealousy. When in relationships the INTP enjoys giving space and receiving that same space in return. INTPs are often very good at understanding other’s intentions, and will become uneasy if someone shady is approaching their partner. They may express this distrust to their partner, but other than that they tend to avoid being jealous. INTPs may struggle with someone who is extremely social and flirty, but that doesn’t mean they will become strongly jealous. They are perfectly capable of letting go of a bad relationship, and because of this would rather avoid being jealous of someone. They intend to have a relationship built on trust and understanding.
ENTPs tend to be too caught up in their multiple projects to really dwell on any feelings of jealousy. They strive to be the best, and feeling like someone is doing better than them is a powerful fuel for their competitive nature. ENTPs in relationships often enjoy being able to do their own thing, and will allow their partner to do the same. As long as the person they are with is trustworthy they will not feel a need to be jealous of them. Ultimately ENTPs are very capable of moving on from a bad relationship, and instead of becoming jealous they will often move on from someone who is not right for them.
ISTJs often hide their feelings of jealousy in an attempt to get rid of them. They may become jealous if they feel like someone else is more adequate than they are. ISTJs have a strong sense of duty and community and if they are not living up to this they may become easily jealous by others who are. They often try to reason with themselves and dismiss these feelings of jealousy. ISTJs especially dismiss their jealousy when it is over a significant other, they want to respect their partner’s space and dislike feeling like they cannot control their emotions.
ESTJs have a tendency to feel jealous towards other people when they feel like they have achieved more than them. They have a strong sense of community and want to be an important member of society. If they feel like their place is being threatened or taken away they will experience jealousy and anger. They often do not feel jealous in romantic relationships and have a tendency to trust their partner. When they are shown reasons to be jealous the ESTJ will become angry and frustrated. They may use insults to make the other person appear less worthy of their jealousy.
ISFJs may experience jealousy if they do not feel appreciated. They enjoy being shown signs of affection and require confirmation from their loved ones to feel comfortable. ISFJs believe that relationships have certain guidelines and roles that should be followed. They may become frustrated if they feel like their significant other is abusing their role in the relationship and will feel disrespected. There is a social standard in which people must follow, and the ISFJ will become jealous if their partner is embarrassing them by not following this.
ESFJs may become jealous of other people who appear to be more capable than they are. They want to be impressive and competent in the eyes of their loved ones, so someone doing better than them is unsettling. ESFJs are most likely to become jealous of a significant other if they feel like things are being hidden from them. When people are showing their loved one attention in public or in front of them, it will probably amuse the ESFJ and will not make them feel uncomfortable. They are fine with giving their partner space but dislike if things are being kept secret. This secrecy will make them uneasy and suspicious, which will frustrate them greatly. As long as these situations are out in the open the ESFJ can easily cope with their jealousy.
ISTPs are not generally very jealous people, and are often too laid back for that. They enjoy having their own space and enjoy having the freedom to do what they want. They want to give that same freedom to their loved ones, making them less likely to experience jealousy. They are often comfortable in themselves, and will really only feel jealous if they feel like someone is more capable of figuring something out than they are. The ISTP enjoys excitement and freedom, making them likely to avoid the negative feelings of jealousy.
ESTPs enjoy excitement, and because of this may be more likely to make their partner jealous than the other way around. They do experience feelings of jealousy though, and want to feel like the person they are dating is entirely loyal to them. They may not express those feelings outwardly and will probably keep them to themselves. Instead they will see those jealous feelings as a reason to be competitive and strive for their partners affections. ESTPs do enjoy a good challenge, and jealousy usually fuels that in them.
ISFPs are sensitive individuals, but they tend to avoid being jealous of others. They do not wish ill towards people and often enjoy seeing them happy. ISFPs have a strong sense of who they are and because of this do not strive to compete with others. In a relationship ISFPs tend to enjoy giving their partner space, and expect that same space in return. They want to feel close to their loved ones, but often do not suspect them of anything shady or dishonest. They often see the good in others, which causes them to be unlikely to experience jealousy.
Depending on where they are at in life, ESFPs may become jealous of others. They want to enjoy their lives and love being center of attention. If someone is stealing away their spotlight the ESFP may become frustrated and jealous of this person. They enjoy feeling close to others, and if they are in a state of extreme stress this may cause them to feel disconnected and paranoid. Being stressed out causes the ESFP to distrust their loved ones, making them feel jealous of them. When they are in their normal state the ESFP would prefer to have fun over harboring jealous feelings.