ENFJ Boyfriend: How to Understand Your ENFJ Significant Other

Relationships aren’t always easy, but a big part of making things work is understanding your partner and their needs. Knowing your ENFJ boyfriends specific needs and the way they express themselves best, can help you get even closer to them. ENFJs can often seem like the perfect romantic partners, always supportive and giving to their loved ones. This doesn’t mean they don’t have bad days, and it also doesn’t mean they are without their own needs as well. Being that they work so hard to care for everyone else, there are times when they really need someone who can pick up the slack and show their support in return. In order to really make your relationship thrive, it helps to understand what is going on beneath the surface with your ENFJ boyfriend.

They Are Giving

There are few people quite as giving and often self-sacrificing as the ENFJ. They focus so much of their energy on taking care of everyone else, and want to do whatever they can to make others happy. While ENFJs are naturally giving people, when it comes to their romantic relationships this becomes heightened. When they love someone the ENFJ simply wants to make them happy in any way possible. Your ENFJ boyfriend is likely to be extremely attentive to your needs, both physically and emotionally. They truly hate to see you in pain and so they will search for ways to help you solve whatever problems might be ailing you. When the person they love most is upset for any reason, the ENFJ will seek out ways to make this better. They are so in tune with the emotions of others, that sometimes they might recognize you are upset even before you do. One of their main goals when they are in a relationship is to ensure that their significant other is happy and comfortable. They put a lot of pressure on themselves to ensure that they take care of the needs of others, and take this as their own personal responsibility.

They also want to be sure they can help you achieve your goals, and work towards building a future together. ENFJs are often driven and focused people, and so they have many goals which they want to achieve in life. They are great at working towards these goals, and can accomplish just about anything they set their minds to. Once the ENFJ sees something they want to achieve, there is little that can prevent them from doing so. This is the same with the goals of their significant other, as they take these things on as their own. Once they care for someone they care about helping them become the best version of themselves, and the happiest version as well.

They Want to Be Strong For You

Your ENFJ boyfriend really wants to be strong for you, and so they might not be all that expressive with their own feelings. They do know how to give positive affirmations, but this is more for your own happiness and comfort. They don’t want to appear weak or incapable, and so they often push themselves even when they are struggling. The ENFJ wants to be the strong one, and wants to be able to withstand anything for the one they love most. While they don’t mind when their partner shows weakness or that they are struggling, the ENFJ just doesn’t want to show this themselves. They feel like they have failed their partner if they cannot remain strong, even when they are struggling inside. Being seen as capable is something which is important to the ENFJ, but they can certainly take this too far. They strive for a sense of perfection in everything they do, and really don’t want their partner to see any flaws or imperfections. This is something which the ENFJ can certainly overcome as they mature and get older, but is often hard when they are younger. 

They Need to Feel Important

Your ENFJ boyfriend might take everything on themselves and always strive to be strong, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have needs. They put their loved ones first, and so they also want to feel like a priority for those closest to them. The ENFJ wants to feel needed and important to their significant other, or else they can become very unhappy. For them it is about feeling like they are truly valued, and know just how special they are to their loved ones. They don’t need a lot to feel truly important, just signs of appreciation and love. Sometimes this means picking up small gifts, or simply setting aside time to spend with your ENFJ boyfriend. They don’t need this constantly, but they want to know that they are valued above other things in your life. Just know that they come first, even if you don’t have to express this constantly, is something which makes them feel truly happy and secure in the relationship.

They Need Support Too

Your ENFJ boyfriend likely won’t ask for help or support, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need it. Being someone who is constantly trying to take care of everyone else can certainly be a heavy burden to bare alone. They do need help and someone who can show their support, even if they won’t ask for this. They need a significant other who can step in sometimes and just pick up the slack without being asked to do so. If you are capable of helping your ENFJ boyfriend when they are struggling, then this will mean the absolute world to them. They aren’t great at turning to others for help simply because they don’t want to feel like a burden to those around them. While they might not ask for it, sometimes they just need someone to ask how they are doing and to be there for them through the hard days. Even the smallest bit of help with go a very long with your ENFJ.