ENTJ Loneliness: What Makes the ENTJ Lonely
Anyone can feel lonely, for some people it can feel like a constant struggle. Loneliness isn’t the same as just being alone, and is a much deeper feeling. Some people experience this loneliness when they are surrounded by people, because they never truly feel like people are listening or connecting with them. Being alone also doesn’t always create this sense of loneliness, and so the feelings is something much more complicated than simply having people around you. For some people it can be an ongoing search to find those connections which will make them feel complete and understood.
ENTJs are much more likely to hide their loneliness, since they don’t want anyone to see this as a weakness. They put on a brave face, and appear rather strong on the outside. While ENTJs do have an impressive inner strength, they experience loneliness just like anyone else. Their desire to remain strong can often be a reason they become so lonely. ENTJs actually crave connection and want to have people around them for the long haul. While others might fear commitment, they want people who are going to stick around and who can help them become better versions of themselves, and vise versa.
They Have High Expectations
ENTJs place high expectations on themselves but also on their relationships. This can be something which creates a barrier between the ENTJ and their potential connections. They have high expectations for how people should behave, but also for the connection they feel with someone. They don’t want just any shallow interactions, and so they are often searching for something much deeper and more meaningful. This isn’t a bad thing, ENTJs just know what they want and they are not willing to compromise. While this is important to them, it can be the reason they feel lonely so easily. They might not find it easy to find people who they feel truly close to, never really feeling that spark from truly connecting with someone in a personal and intimate manner. This makes it hard for the ENTJ to avoid loneliness sometimes, even when they do have close friends and loved ones. They can be rather “picky” about who they let close, and finding someone they can trust just isn’t an easy task. They want connections which run deep and they are hoping to find people who are truly unique, but who also share similar interests and a sense of passion for their lives.
They Feel Alone In Their Rational Thinking
Being someone who approaches everything from a rational point of view, can actually cause the ENTJ to feel lonely sometimes. They see people as being emotional in their choices, and struggle to find others who see the world the way that they do. This makes them feel alone oftentimes, even when they are around people they consider intelligent it still isn’t quite the same. ENTJs approach things from a more rational and practical way of thinking, and the way they process and view the world can feel so different from most people. Even other thinking or logical personality types don’t always see things the way the ENTJ does, and this is certainly something which causes them to feel rather lonely. There are times when they want people around them who are practical and can be focused and efficient. It isn’t always easy to take this approach with more emotional things, and this can be a struggle for the ENTJ when they are hoping to find people with shared views.
They Don’t Want to Show Weakness
ENTJs struggle when it comes to showing weakness, and to them this can actually be what creates this loneliness. The ENTJ might feel disconnected from others, not really knowing how to let them in beyond the walls they create. They are afraid of appearing weak or admitting when they are feeling lonely, and so they don’t always know how to let someone in close enough to cure this loneliness. It can be a confusing position for the ENTJ, since they want to feel that deep connection but don’t trust easily so letting people in can be a challenge. While the ENTJ wants to open themselves up to making long lasting connections, they also don’t want to feel vulnerable. For the ENTJ opening up about this loneliness can make them feel weak, and so they will often try to push past it and pretend everything is fine. They can even deny this to themselves, which makes it hard to find a way to break through.
Tools to Cope
One of the most important things for the ENTJ who is lonely, is to understand themselves and their own personal needs. They need to start diving into recognizing why they feel so lonely, and what is distancing them from the people around them. ENTJs care about their loved ones, but they have a hard time trusting people with their deepest and darkest secrets. They don’t want to expose themselves to ridicule or have people judge their inner feelings and emotions. This is why ENTJs can focus more on logic and facts, since feelings are so hard to rely on for them. This doesn’t mean they don’t feel things deeply, they just tend to push those emotions aside. For the ENTJ it is important to open themselves up to the people they love, and give them a chance to truly understand the ENTJ and what they are going through underneath. While this is not an easy step to take, it can be an important one moving forward.
ENTJs can also benefit from finding people who share similar interests as them. Whether they join clubs or certain conventions, or simply meet people online who enjoy the same hobbies as they do. Meeting people who share similar interests can help them connect, and helps the ENTJ feel more understood for being who they are. They might feel like the people around them don’t have the same interests or will find their personal hobbies to be strange, and so they need to make connections who don’t make them feel this way.
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