Written By Kirsten Moodie
Why We Need To STOP Defining People Based On Their Mistakes
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
― Albert Einstein
As humans we have a terrible habit of judging people solely based on their mistakes. We often judge ourselves based on our errors as well, holding onto them until they tear us apart. Our biggest mistake in life, is the fact that we often fail to accept our mistakes as an important part of living. We need to stop defining others and ourselves based on our mistakes, and learn to accept them for what they are.
It Is True That Everyone Makes Mistakes
This isn’t just something that people say to make themselves feel better about failure. It is a fact that we all make mistakes on a regular basis. A big part of being alive and being human, means that we have flaws and make errors constantly. Are faults are not the only thing about us, they aren’t even a defining part of who we are. No one is exempt from messing up once in a while, even if they want to convince you of this. There are some people who attempt to deny their mistakes, pretending like they are something close to perfect. Those people are lacking self-awareness because they fear failure so deeply. There is nothing to gain from this, they are only holding themselves back by being so close minded.
To be human means to make mistakes, it means to continuously grow and change. Messing up means that you are alive, it means that are you actually living. The only way to make your way through life is to accept that you are going to make a few mistakes along the way. It is impossible to grow and try new things, without slipping up along the way. This is part of life- a rather big part actually- that we simply need to accept and embrace. If we allow our failures to knock down our confidence every single time they are made, we will never be able to get back up again.
It Only Hurts Us To Harbor Regret
It only hurts us and holds us back when we harbor regrets. Constantly remembering that time we accidentally insulted our friend, or received a C on a big project back in college. Almost everyone will hold onto these silly little things and keep replaying them inside our minds until they drive us insane. We wonder why we screwed up so royally and continuously blame ourselves for these errors. These little mistakes are things that we need to learn to let go of. Holding onto them is only going to cause you unnecessary anxiety and stress. The important thing to remember is that people are too wrapped up in their own mistakes to even recall your minor errors. Learn to accept that you have flaws and move on from those silly errors. They aren’t as big of a deal as you are making them out to be, it is important to let go of them.
We all have larger regrets, things that we wish we could go back and change. The cold hard truth is that you cannot go back to the past and change it. The best option is to look forward on the future and attempt to make better decisions next time. Looking at your mistakes and attempting to figure out why you made them, can help you figure out how to do better in the future. You can’t keep going over these mistakes until you beat them to death though. Simply look at them, learn from them and move on with your life.
It Also Hurts To Judge Others
It is also important not to judge others for their mistakes. Defining someone based on their worst moments, is no way to live your life. Holding grudges because someone messed up, is just as wrong as holding grudges against yourself. This will only make you angry and prevent you from accepting your own flaws as well. When someone is judging others it often means they are not comfortable with themselves. Stop focusing so much on the flaws of others, and learn to accept that everyone makes mistakes. Just because someone else screwed up, does not make you better than them. Just because you make a mistake, doesn’t make others better than you. We are all equal in our ability to make a mess of thing and that’s okay.
This doesn’t mean you have to allow people to keep hurting you, it just means you need to stop judging them for it. It is okay to guard yourself, but there is no reason to hold anger because of this. Realizing that some people take longer to learn from their mistakes is important. Everyone has their own pace, some people struggle with moving on more than others.
Learning Comes From Errors
The only way that we can learn and grow, is by making mistakes in life. When we try something new, we can expect that it will take a while to figure it out. Anything takes trial and error, the struggle is that sometimes the error is so large that we lose sight of it. When we make larger mistakes that affect us in often big ways, we can forget that this is a normal part of life. When the mistakes hurt us or others we often forget to learn from them. It is important to take time to grieve our errors, so that we can learn from them in the future. Taking a step back to figure out the way to do better in the future, only comes after we have accepted that we cannot change what has already occurred.
Accept your flaws and errors, so that you can learn from them. When we do this we are more capable of making better and more informed choices in the future. No one gets everything right the first time, whether they believe so or not. Often when people are good at accomplishing new things, it is because they have failed at something similar and learned from it. Do not compare yourself to others, because they are on an entirely different path than you. It is perfectly useful to learn from them and attempt to figure out ways to adjust your behavior. This doesn’t mean you have to put yourself down because the person next to you appears to be doing better than you are. Someone who is accomplishing something has often struggled with this in their own ways- ways that we don’t even realize.
If You Never Fail, It means You Never Tried
To fail means that we have actually tried, which is a big step. Failure simply means that we were able to step out of our comfort zone and take a chance. It is important to pat yourself on the back once in a while and accept that trying is a challenge in itself. Becoming stuck in a pattern of never taking chances will never get you anywhere good in life. We often judge the biggest mistakes we make and hold those flaws in our minds forever. This is one of the biggest errors we can ever make in life, one that we need to learn from above all else. Learn to accept your faults and mistakes, learn to move on from them. Holding onto these negative feelings will only hold us back, which is often our subconscious intentions. If we do not try it means we will not fail, of course. It also means we cannot succeed, it means we cannot grow and it means we cannot achieve any kind of greatness.
Some of the biggest accomplishments have come after many failed attempts. Push past those failures and accept them for what they are- a learning experience. These mistakes are simply stepping stones on your way to achieving your goals. Realize that you will most likely fail more than you succeed- but it only takes getting it right just one time, to achieve greatness.