Persisting Through Difficult Times: An INFJ Perspective
Written by Keona Tang
I don’t feel like writing this. I feel very discouraged at this very moment, like I have no direction in my life. I actually feel like my life is not my own. I have no life; instead, I’m just twisting in the wind, waiting for some grand plan to take shape. Looking for some sign to appear and show me how to live, what to do, and where to go.
Why does this always happen on my days off from work? I ask myself. I don’t know. I don’t have an answer. All I do know is that I’m spent. I have nothing left. No inspiration, no drive, and no real impetus to keep on going.
I’m just sitting here, watching vapid movies and playing stupid video games and thinking that I have no greater purpose. That life is empty and meaningless.
So why am I writing this, then? I don’t know, to be honest. I have to write something, and I guess this is better than not writing at all. Part of me wants to throw in the towel, just say I’m done, and walk away from it all. The other part of me just says to write. Persist. Persevere. Keep going. Find it within yourself to continue onward.
I know that’s my better inclinations at work, trying to get me to continue on. My friends tell me that, too. They encourage me and keep me going. I’m lucky to have such good people in my life. And I know that if i gave up, I’d be letting them down, but I’d be letting myself down even more.
In the end, I’m just so tired. I feel like life is such an uphill battle, with so many trials and crises to face that it can be too much to deal with at times. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy to fight on. Sometimes I don’t want to.
Today was one of those days. I felt rudderless and directionless. I felt alone.
When I’m faced with that, all I can do is try to pick myself up and go on. Try to continue living. The alternative cannot be considered. There’s still work to be done.
My best friend is going through a difficult time, too. She has a lot going on, and she tells me that there are days when she feels like saying “To hell with it all!” However, she keeps going. She writes every single day, even when she feels like it’s too much. I admire that conviction, and her tenacity. She inspires me to continue going on, just by her own actions.
I want to be that way, too. I want to persevere, to be strong in my beliefs and have the moral fortitude to keep on going in uncertain times. Even when the passion is gone, and the emotional cost is seemingly too great.
I guess my point in writing all of this down is to send a message to those of you who are feeling discouraged, who look at this moment in your life and question why you continue going on. Those who see all the injustices in the world and wonder what the point of it all is. Those who feel spent and exhausted and like the struggle is never-ending.
To those of us who feel this way, I can only say one thing:
Persist. Persevere. Keep going. Do not give up. Most importantly, do not give in.
If you need help, advice, or even encouragement, I would definitely recommend seeking it out. A close friend who understands you implicitly is a great place to start. A therapist can also help you find a direction for your life, or at least an initial starting point. Some people turn to their family members for help and support. The point is to find someone who will be open to listening to you, and who will help you rather than judge or criticize you.
As you most likely know, I’m an INFJ, which means I can get pretty intense in my feelings of depression and ennui. I can be rather dour and focused on the negative aspects of life, because that is literally all I see every time I watch the news or read about current events. The world is in flames. It feels like there’s no stopping the seemingly endless march toward our own extinction. In what possible way can a single, solitary person change the world?
Ultimately, I believe that all the politicians and celebrities and power brokers in the world won’t save us. Indeed, they’re probably doing more harm than good. In the end, it will be up to us to make the world a better place, both as individuals and as a collective group. We cannot allow ourselves to give up, because humanity would be doomed. We must keep going, and we must be good to one another.
Persist, my friends, especially during difficult times. It is the most important thing I can say to you, and to myself, right now.
Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this. I really do appreciate it.