Written By Kirsten Moodie
How Each Personality Type Can Maintain a Healthy Relationship
Relationships can be hard and even the happiest couples experience certain struggles. Each type is likely to have different problems that cause them to struggle in their relationships. Here is how each personality type can maintain a much healthier relationship.
INFJs have a tendency to idealize certain people or situations, which can really only lead to disappointment. They also want desperately to save and help people, but this can cause the INFJ to seek out the wrong people. Hoping to save someone from themselves is a noble goal, but can often cause the INFJ to have unhappy relationships. In order for them to create a lasting and fully functioning relationship, the INFJ needs to find someone who does not need saving. They need a partner who is very real, and capable of caring for themselves. Ultimately, the INFJ needs to accept the fact that they do deserve love, and stop running from it for fear of getting hurt.
ENFJs have a tendency to put a lot of pressure on themselves, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. They want to be able to care for their loved ones and make them as happy as possible. This actually puts too much pressure on the relationship in most cases, and can cause their partner to feel smothered. If the ENFJ wants to have a truly lasting and healthy relationship, they need to accept that they cannot be perfect. Instead of trying to constantly take care of everyone, they actually need to care for themselves sometimes. Accepting that they cannot do everything, will ultimately help them find a partner who is there for them too.
INFPs often idealize their romantic partners, which usually leads to disappointment. When they start t fall for someone, they can become blinded to their flaws. This ultimately causes the INFP to become upset when their partner does not live up to their expectations. INFPs want something real and strive for a deeper connection, but sometimes this can put a lot of pressure on the relationship. They also have rather serious inner morals, which need to match up fairly well with their partner. The INFP will do best if they stop idealizing people and simply allow themselves to find someone who has the same goals and morals as them. It is perfectly fine to be with someone who doesn’t agree with everything you say, as long as you want the same things from life.
ENFPs have rather energetic personalities, and are constantly bouncing from one idea to the next. In many cases this causes people to believe that the ENFP cannot remain faithful, but this is absolutely false. ENFPs are extremely trustworthy when they find someone they truly care for and want to be with. They simply take some time to find someone they want to settle down with. ENFPs enjoy having their own independence, but can struggle when it comes to letting their partner have space. If they are feeling bored or in need of entertainment, they can sometimes overwhelm their romantic partner. They need to be capable of giving their loved ones space when they are not feeling well or simply do not want to go on an adventure every five seconds.
INTJs are not the most emotionally driven people, which can sometimes give them trouble in relationships. When the INTJ cares for someone they do it very deeply, they just don’t always express it openly. They are independent people, who prefer plenty of time by themselves in order to process their thoughts and feelings. It is important for the INTJ to find someone who can appreciate this part of them, and who does not take it personally. At the same time it is important for the INTJ to attempt to be more open in their romantic relationship. They do not have to expose their feelings to everyone, but once the INTJ has committed to someone they should consider working on this part of themselves. It is likely that their romantic partner enjoys the independent and intelligent spirit of the INTJ, but a little romance won’t hurt either. In order for the INTJ to develop a healthy relationship, they need to learn to accept their own emotions a bit more, instead of bottling them up.
ENTJs are often seen in leadership roles, which makes them strong and dependable people. They are not the most emotional types, but they do care very deeply for their loved ones. They often work hard to provide for the people close to them, and simply ask for loyalty and honesty in return. ENTJs can sometimes put too much pressure on their loved ones, which can be difficult on their romantic relationships. Sometimes it is important for the ENTJ to take a step back, and allow their partner to figure things out on their own. Attempting to ensure that everything goes perfectly, can sometimes make other people feel inferior.
INTPs are caring and intellectually driven people, with wonderfully active minds. They actually care very deeply for their loved ones, and are often considering them in their actions. They will spend hours thinking of ways to help the people they care for, but this is not something that is openly expressed. INTPs need plenty of space and time by themselves and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It is important that they find a partner who understands and accepts them for who they are. One thing that the INTP can learn to develop though, is their ability to be open and vulnerable. They often fear expressing their feelings to someone, but this is an important part of growing a healthy relationship. The INTP will do best if they find a partner they can trust enough to share their feelings with from time to time. Bottling up their emotions for too long can cause the INTP to lash out in ways that they dislike.
ENTPs have a tendency to jump from one idea to the next rather quickly. They despise staying stagnant in life, and need to be constantly moving and changing in order to be satisfied. This is a great quality, which often leads the ENTP into new and exciting adventures in their lives. This desire to keep constantly moving and growing can actually put quite the strain on their relationships though. ENTPs also want a partner who is willing to grow with them, but it is important for them to avoid pushing their loved ones too far. Even people who strive to grow and change, need some time to relax and feel comfortable with themselves. The ENTP simply needs to allow their partner some space to discover things themselves, without feeling pressure to keep moving forward.
ISTJs are very goal oriented individuals, and often choose their partners accordingly. They want to be able to keep moving and growing in their lives, and want someone who will follow them down this road. ISTJs do not jump into relationships without carefully considering what they are doing. When the ISTJ makes a commitment to someone, they truly take that seriously. ISTJs are very moral people, but can sometimes notice that their partner’s morals are not properly aligning with their own. This can cause tension in the relationship, which can lead to the ISTJ wanting more space than usual. It is important for them to accept their differences, in order to properly maintain a healthy relationship. The ISTJ needs to figure out what their highest priorities are, and learn to compromise on the smaller things.
ESTJs do not fall fast, but once they care for someone they fall rather hard for them. ESTJs take their obligations very seriously, and do not want to back out once they have committed. ESTJs can struggle if their partner does not live up to their expectations, and so they will attempt to force things. They do not want to step away from the relationship, and will continue to try and make things work. Instead of forcing something that is clearly not working, the ESTJ will do best to find someone who shares the same morals and goals in life. If they can find someone who has similar set of principles, it will make a huge difference in the relationship. Instead of finding someone they want to save, the ESTJ needs to find someone who can help them as well.
ISFJs often feel guilty expressing their own needs, which can lead to tension in their relationships. They are very giving and loving people, who would do just about anything for their loved ones. In order for them to maintain a healthy relationship, they need to be more open about their own wants and needs. Instead of searching for someone they can care for, the ISFJ needs to find their equal. Once they can develop a relationship that is just as beneficial for them, the ISFJ will begin to thrive. The ISFJ should accept that it is perfectly okay for them to have needs, and to voice those needs once in a while.
ESFJs are very giving people, and are constantly focused on caring for their loved ones. This can cause the ESFJ to put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect. This desire to obtain perfection, actually puts an unhealthy pressure on their romantic relationships. The ESFJ will constantly try to get things right, instead of accepting that they have flaws as well. They will often ignore their own needs for a long time, in hopes of focusing on the needs of their partner. This can cause the ESFJ to become stressed and overwhelmed, which is not good for the relationship. ESFJs need to accept their own flaws, and realize that they will still be lovable even if they are not perfect.
ISTPs enjoy their independence, and prefer to spend most of their time alone. This can actually cause tension in their romantic relationships, especially if their loved ones are feeling unappreciated. ISTPs are not the most openly expressive people, which can often cause their loved ones to feel pushed aside. It is important for the ISTP to find someone who appreciates their need for space, and who understands where they are coming from. It is also important for the ISTP to learn to be more in touch with their own emotions, and the emotions of others. Simply taking some time to let their romantic partner know how they are feeling, will go a long way. They do not have to dwell on these emotions, they simply need to take a moment to understand and process them.
ESTPs are adventurous and charismatic people, but this can sometimes put pressure on their relationships. They can be a bit more demanding than they realize, and simply want things done their way. They care very deeply for their loved ones, and often try to do whatever they can to provide for them. At the same time, ESTPs often struggle to feel appreciated in their relationship- which can cause them to become demanding. They might go a long time without asking for anything, and then become upset and make higher demands. ESTPs will do best if they allow their loved ones proper space, and stop putting such high expectations on them.
ISFPs are kind and loving people, who truly desire to find deep connections in life. They can sometimes idealize their partners, which can lead to disappointment. ISFPs can sometimes bounce from one relationship to the next, simply because they feel like they haven’t found the right person. They want to find someone real, but might take a little time to discover that special person. It is important for the ISFP to realize they cannot find someone who fulfills all of their needs, and to temper their expectations just a little bit. They will do best to search for someone who shares their morals and goals, and stop hoping for someone who is exactly like them.
ESFPs enjoy living life to the fullest, but can sometimes be a bit reckless in their romantic lives. Their desire to have fun, and cloud their judgment when it comes to romantic relationships. Instead of finding a partner to understands and appreciates them, the ESFP can sometimes find romance in the wrong people. In order to maintain a healthy relationship the ESFP needs to take a step back once in a while and process what is going on around them. They will do best to find someone who is level-headed, but who also does not want to stifle the ESFPs creativity and energy.