Written By Kirsten Moodie
What Your Biggest Relationship Flaw is According to Your Personality Type
Even the most amazing individuals have their flaws and make mistakes from time to time. Here are the major relationship mistakes that each personality type is most likely to make.
INFJs often do not set appropriate boundaries, and end up losing themselves in a relationship. They will give far too much, exhausting themselves and their emotional energy. When an INFJ cares about someone they do whatever it takes to make them happy. They will often push themselves to be the best partner possible, and set impossible standards for themselves. This can go on for a long time and set a bad start to the relationship, one that leads to the INFJ not feeling appreciated. Once this occurs for too long, the INFJ will often end things and might even end up using their infamous door slam reaction. INFJs simply will not settle for less than they deserve, and will ultimately keep searching for someone who fulfills them.
ENFJs want to be all things to all people, which can be a bit much for a romantic relationship. When they truly care about someone they invest everything they can into making them happy. This can sometimes cause ENFJs to be rather pushy and controlling in a relationship. They want to be able to fix any problem that their partner has, and will work hard to help them better their situation. This can come across as hovering, and might be a bit much for the person they are dating. It comes from a place of love and caring, but can be a little overwhelming. If ENFJs do not feel like they are important to their partner, they can appear a bit clingy.
INFPs are extremely hopeful people, who sometimes idealize their partners. They will fall in love with someone and become entirely wrapped up in those feelings. Sometimes INFPs will put their romantic relationship on a pedestal, holding the other person to standards they cannot possibly live up to. This happens because INFPs are excellent at seeing someone’s true potential. They will dive into their relationship, learning everything they can about someone they are interested in. Once they do this they will often see what this person is capable of, which sets very high expectations. Sometimes when people cannot live up to these standards, INFPs might become disappointed.
ENFPs can become bored rather easily, and will move on from someone who can keep them entertained. They want a relationship filled with passion and intensity, and dislike staying stagnant for too long. They want their romantic partner to keep things exciting, and might have high expectations for their love interests. When they find someone who truly fits their need for excitement, ENFPs are more than capable of commitment. They simply need someone who is capable of ensuring that they aren’t being held back. When an ENFP is young though, they do have a hard time staying in one relationship and might bounce around for a while searching for the right person.
INTJs can sometimes lack appreciation towards the need for emotional expression. They do not express their feelings easily, and will often refrain from openly giving affirmations. INTJs are rather loyal people and are considerate in relationships, but might struggle with expressing emotions. This does not mean that they don’t care, they simply prefer to keep things to themselves. Sometimes their lack of emotional understanding can cause discord in a romantic relationship, especially if they are with a type that prefers their feeling function. INTJs do take their relationships seriously, but often struggle to find the importance in emotions and might prefer to logically understand why someone is feeling a certain way.
ENTJs can struggle in relationships because they desire efficiency more than anything else. They have very high standards for themselves, but also have those standards for the people in their lives. They will often push people to live up to their full potential, this is a helpful thing but can put too much strain on a relationship. ENTJs can become frustrated with people when they aren’t being as efficient as possible, which can cause them to have trouble in relationships. They might put too much pressure on others to get things done correctly, and this can be hard for some people to handle.
INTPs are logical people who strive to be accurate, this desire for precision can sometimes hurt their romantic relationships. They will often try and figure out who is right, or work hard to logically understand why someone is feeling a certain way. This can cause their romantic partners to feel alienated from the INTP, and they might feel like they don’t sincerely care about them. INTPs often do care very much for others, but have a difficult time expressing this openly. Their need to be precise can stifle their relationships because they will deliver their words harsher than other people can sometimes handle.
ENTPs can become bored rather easily, and are always looking for something to keep them interested. In relationships an ENTP might become bored, or feel held back by someone and in that case they will often move on. It can be hard for them to stay in a long-term relationship with someone, especially if they are with people who prefer to stay still for too long. This need to keep themselves entertained and their mind constantly challenged, can put a lot of strain on their relationships. ENTPs simply thrive when they are learning something new, and enjoy being challenged in many different ways.
ISTJs can sometimes be rather strict, with a natural desire to follow the rules. They will often want to follow a schedule, which can become challenging for the people they date. ISTJs certainly have many positive attributes, and will work hard to take care of their loved ones. The thing that can become difficult is their need to keep things organized and sometimes overly scheduled. Other people can become bored or even frustrated with this need to follow a set of guidelines. ISTJs want to get things done, and some people simply don’t have the patience for this.
ESTJs value efficiency and hard-work, which can become a challenge in their romantic relationships. They might have a short fuse when they feel like someone is not pulling their weight. ESTJs believe in efficiency and dislike when people are not doing their very best. They will often push their loved ones to get things done properly, which can become draining on them. If someone isn’t living up to their standards the ESTJs might become rather harsh when they attempt to correct this behavior. This can be hard on people and might cause problems in their romantic relationships.
ISFJs sometimes neglect their own needs and work far too hard to make others happy. Their desire to create harmony in their environment sometimes puts a lot of pressure on people. They will work very hard to make sure that everyone around them is happy, and this can be stressful sometimes for others. ISFJs would prefer to keep the peace, which causes them to take more notice to the person making the most complaints. They care very much about making people happy and may even forget their own needs in the process.
ESFJs can put a lot of pressure on their romantic relationships, since they take them very seriously. They want the person they are with to take the commitment seriously, and this can put too much pressure sometimes. ESFJs also have a desire to be needed by their loved ones, and can drain themselves sometimes working too hard to please others. This need to make people happy can become overwhelming, and sometimes the ESFJ will lose themselves in their desire to please.
ISTPs can sometimes be too aloof in relationships, which causes their romantic partner to feel alienated from them. They enjoy a lot of time alone, and prefer to be inside their own inner worlds for long periods of time. ISTPs enjoy peace and quiet, which can be challenging for the person they are in a relationship with. It can be especially difficult for an ISTP to partner with an extrovert who prefers spending a lot of time with their loved ones.
ESTPs enjoy adventure and hate staying still for too long, this can put strain on their relationships. They enjoy excitement and will often not like being with someone who isn’t ready to come along for the ride. ESTPs live very much in the present moment, which can lead to them doing things that might upset their romantic partners. They don’t always think before they leap into something, and prefer to fix their damage after it is done.
ISFPs are very quiet and introverted people, they enjoy soaking up the beauty around them. ISFPs nature can sometimes appear flighty to others, and this can cause problems in their relationships. They are often intelligent and thoughtful people, but they don’t express many of their thoughts to others. This can cause people to misunderstand them, which might cause discord in their romantic relationships. They enjoy living in the present, and might bounce from one thought to the next rather quickly.
ESFPs are fun-loving individuals, who enjoy living in the present and breathing in the moment. This can sometimes be challenging for their romantic partners, because ESFPs aren’t always the most responsible people. They might forgo the hard-work that needs to be done, in order to enjoy themselves and have some fun. This can be hard on people when they want the ESFP to take things more seriously.