The Struggles of Being a Shy Extrovert

The truth is there is more than just being an introvert or extrovert. There are the very misunderstood outgoing introverts, as well as the shy extroverts. Here are a few of the struggles that often come with being a shy extrovert.

You Have Probably Mistaken Yourself As An Introvert

The shy extrovert often experiences moments of believe they are an introvert. The sudden anxiety you feel at the thought of a new social encounter, has probably made you doubt your extroversion. There are many misconceptions about what being an extrovert or introvert means, which causes some of the confusion. Once you discovered that being an extrovert meant you gained energy from others and felt drained when you were alone too long, you probably realized that was more suited to you. You realize that you want to be around others, you just become shy and occasionally socially awkward. You fear the unknown and don’t want to be seen as foolish. When you believed you were an introvert it was probably a very confusing time for you. Maybe you are reading this article still confused, hopefully by the end you will know for sure if you are a shy extrovert.

You Truly Need Social Engagement to Feel Energized

Although you feel anxious at the thought of awkward social encounters, you still require people to feel like yourself. When you are left alone for too long you become drained and emotionally exhausted. After you spend time with the right people who make you feel comfortable, you instantly feel better. You feel energized and content when you get a chance to spend time with people that you fully trust. You just have a hard time trusting others, which can cause you to struggle with feeling comfortable with them. When you are around people who put you at ease you find that you feel energized and excited. Being shy sometimes makes this a struggle, but it is something that you truly need. When you are alone for too long it becomes draining and somewhat depressing for you. You crave being around others, and often wish you could do this without feeling pressured.

You Probably Overthink Everything That You Do

The trouble with your shyness is that it often comes from feeling anxious around others. You find yourself overthinking every little detail. You analyze your actions and other people’s actions, until you see the worst possible outcome. You become stressed when you consider just how wrong things could go, which often makes you avoid social interaction all-together. You struggle with properly expressing yourself, but you want desperately to learn how to do this. You are excited when people invite you places, but find yourself doubting if you should brave the world and go out. As a shy extrovert you often are concerned that people find you awkward.

Your Nervousness Around Others Mostly Comes From Caring

The reason you are nervous around others is because you care so much. You enjoy being around people and want to build meaningful relationships. Although you crave social interaction, you struggle with finding the right people to socialize with. This needs to happen in a comfortable and safe environment, which is often very hard to find. You often worry about the tiny details and are concerned that you aren’t being seen by others the way that you want to be. You are a caring person and are often overly conscious of how your actions will affect people. This avoidance to communicate often comes across as rude to people, when in fact you just don’t want to say something that will upset them. You are a much better listener than you are a talker and thoroughly enjoy hearing about the details of your friends’ lives. Being able to listen without having to blab about your own problems all of the time, makes you a pretty excellent friend.

Your Friends Usually Don’t Even Realize You Are Shy

Your close friends no the more open side of you, because of this they probably don’t realize you can be shy. You’ve probably gotten comments like “you are so not shy,” which subsequently makes you intensely frustrated. They see the more outgoing side of you, because you are comfortable around them. You aren’t constantly afraid of how they will react and you realize which jokes will offend them at this point. You don’t have to be careful around them so they have actually seen your extroversion in full swing. They realize you enjoy being around people and you especially enjoy being around them. When they see you, you are fun and lively, which makes them assume you are like this around everyone. This just isn’t the case.

You Clam Up When You Are Put On The Spot

You absolutely hate being the center of attention. You would much rather hang in the background and throw in a few words here and there. Listening and observing everyone may give off the “lurker” vibe but you just like to be able to listen. When you are in the social setting and are capable of just chilling silently you are still able to feel comfortable. You can enjoy your chance to chat with specific people without feeling like you have to perform. When people put you on the spot it often makes you clam up and become nervous. You probably hate being forced into situations, which makes it extremely awkward when people try. The instant someone tells you to do something you feel like a performance monkey, and that’s just not who you are. Being put on the spot makes you feel instantly awkward and unsure of how to react. When you are allowed to do your own thing you are much more capable of being fun and involved, than when someone tries to force you to do so. You are just someone who needs to do things on your own terms.

It Is Extremely Exciting For You When You Meet Someone Who Accepts You

Being able to find people to truly connect with is exactly what you need. Large settings where you have to fight for attention and are constantly compelled to entertain others, make you anxious. You would much rather sit back and listen in those settings, and that is perfectly fine with you. Small gatherings with one or two of your closest pals, now those are your bread and butter. Being able to just completely let loose with people you are comfortable with makes you feel energized and excited. Your friends are probably confused by this, since you will be quiet one minute and blabbing their ear off the next. This is just how you work, you need to feel like you can trust someone before you are able to open up to them. When you get the chance to make friends that accept your weird little quirks, there really isn’t anything better than that.

Being a shy extrovert can be a serious struggle. Being someone who requires the presence of people to feel energized, but who also feels somewhat uncomfortable in social settings- is a tough combo. Most people misunderstand what it means to be a shy extrovert, and don’t give the struggle the full appreciation that it deserves. If you were an introvert it would be much easier, you could avoid people for days without feeling completely drained. But the fact is, you do feel drained when you are alone for too long. You crave being around people and need that interaction to be happy. The struggles are there, but once you find the right people to spend your time with it makes it much easier. One-on-one time is something that the shy extrovert excels at, so finding friends who enjoy that intimate experience, is perfect.


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