ESFJ Weaknesses, Flaws and Shortcomings: Where the ESFJ Feel Challenged

Everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses, and it is important to uncover these parts of ourselves. Learning more about their own shortcomings can help you to improve, and in some cases simply help you to accept them for what they are. We cannot be perfect no matter how hard we try, and so sometimes it is best to learn where we aren’t comfortable and won’t be happiest because of these weaknesses. While everyone has their strengths there are always weaknesses which can hold us back from certain paths, or simply make those choices more challenging to endure for us. Knowing where these shortcomings are can also help to find our best ways of growing and developing them into something more manageable. 

While ESFJs certainly have many positive characteristics, they have their weaknesses as well. Everyone has certain shortcomings or things they struggle with naturally, but that doesn’t mean they cannot improve these things. This is why understanding your personality type is so important in helping to become better. It isn’t just about using the letters as an excuse, it is about learning more about yourself and ways you can be the best version of yourself for those around you and for your own well-being. While certain weaknesses are simply things which need to be managed, the ones which negatively affect our lives should certainly be worked on. ESFJs have plenty of strengths but accepting their weaknesses can sometimes be difficult for them.

They Are Perfectionists

ESFJs have strong perfectionist tendencies, to the point where they can be very hard on themselves. They want to be someone who is perfect for those around them, striving to always do everything right. This makes it hard for the ESFJ to accept when they have made a mistake or that they have flaws at all. Seeing their own flaws makes them feel like they have failed their loved ones in some way, and so they can be in denial about these things. ESFJs want to always be the best they can be for the people around them, which puts a lot of pressure on themselves and even others at times. They continue to push to improve and often strive to be everything to everyone. This desire to be perfect is something which causes the ESFJ a lot of stress at times, and so it is certainly something which could be viewed as a weakness. It is also part of what makes them such motivated and capable people, which is why finding a healthy balance is so important. Being able to find the middle ground is what will help the ESFJ turn this weakness into a strength.

They Dislike Change

ESFJs can become stressed by too much change, as they prefer to have things a certain way. This can certainly make them seem a bit rigid at times, as they can become overwhelmed with abrupt changes. When they have things done a certain way and are used to these routines, having things shaken up can be stressful for them. This is also tied into their perfectionist behaviors, since ESFJs don’t want to make a mistake or fail at something. When things change too quickly or without notice, the ESFJ doesn’t have the opportunity to make preparations. They want to be able to handle things the right way and don’t like feeling as if they could fail or make a mistake along the way. Too much change can really throw them off and leave them feeling stressed and so they try to avoid this where they can.

Too Self-Sacrificing 

ESFJs can be too self-sacrificing at times, giving up their own happiness for the sake of helping others. Being someone who is so focused on making everyone around them happy, can leave the ESFJ feeling drained after a while. They want to be there for the people they love but this can cause them to neglect their own needs for far too long. While being a giving and selfless person is certainly an amazing quality the ESFJ possesses, it can turn into a weakness when they push themselves too hard. They care about others and want to be able to give them whatever they need, but this can be taken too far. Constantly ignoring and neglecting their own needs leaves the ESFJ feeling emotionally and mentally drained after a while. In order to properly help others they need to take time and care for themselves as well. If they don’t care for their own needs they become like shells of themselves and might even start to resent those around them. This is why finding that balance is important for ESFJs, since their strengths can also be their weaknesses in a lot of ways. Being so loving and giving is definitely an amazing quality which they should not try to ignore, but they also need to take time for themselves when needed.

Struggle with Criticism

ESFJs can struggle with criticism when it comes from the people they love and care for. When they put their hearts into caring about someone they don’t deal well with rejection or being criticized. ESFJs care so much about the opinions of those they love and so it becomes difficult for them to process when they receive criticism from those people. They want those closest to them to see the good in them, and struggle when they feel like they don’t. ESFJs can be really hard on themselves and this is part of what makes it so difficult for them to receive any sort of negative feedback. While these sensitivities are also part of who they are, the ESFJ can certainly work on this part of themselves. By being more open with their loved ones they can start to understand where they are coming from, and even express that they can be sensitive about certain things. Trying to be perfect only makes this more of a challenge, and makes it so the ESFJ struggles to heal if they are hurt by some sort of criticism they recieve.