Written By Kirsten Moodie
How Each Personality Type Handles Boundaries
We all know that setting boundaries is an important part of living a healthy life. Some of us struggle with limits more than others do. Here is how you value boundaries based on your personality type.
INFJs have a rather complex relationship with boundaries, and how well they can set them. INFJs will often struggle when it comes to setting limits on how much they will be willing to do for others. They may end up in situations where people push them to help, even when the INFJ is feeling overwhelmed. They truly want to help others, which can get them in some tricky situations. When INFJs learn to set boundaries they will definitely do much better in their overall mental health. It is important for them to understand that they can’t help everyone, no matter how hard they try. INFJs are often capable of setting boundaries when it comes to their privacy, and will not share too much personal information unless they fully trust someone. But when it comes to helping people they can sometimes end up going too far.
ENFJs often struggle with setting boundaries, and will go above and beyond for people. It is important for them to help others, which can cause them to push themselves too hard. They will have a really hard time saying no to people, and might find it nearly impossible to turn people down when they are in need. This can cause ENFJs to become taken advantage of by people who simply do not appreciate their efforts. It is important for them to learn to set boundaries, and understand that people who truly care will stick around even if they say “no” to them on occasion.
INFPs are often capable of setting boundaries when it comes to other people. They know what they are willing to do for people and don’t want to be forced into anything. They are good at being independent and making their own choices. They are very caring people and will sometimes open themselves up to others, only to get hurt by them. This can be difficult for an INFP who doesn’t know how to fully set emotional boundaries, but for the most part they can handle the outcome. They live their lives simply striving to be true to themselves, which often makes them capable of setting appropriate boundaries.
ENFPs have a way of pushing through many situations, which can make them struggle with boundaries. They want the world to be completely open to them, so in some cases they will ignore the boundaries of others. ENFPs simply enjoy crossing lines, just to see what will happen. They dislike being told they cannot do something, because they live their lives with passion and enthusiasm. They do care about the feelings of others, so will be capable of holding back if it is truly important to people. In many cases though, ENFPs will be the ones to push past peoples walls and break down their barriers. ENFPs might struggle to say “no” to the people they care for the most, and might not be aware of their limits.
INTPs are often good at setting boundaries, especially with strangers. They know what they are comfortable with, and will not be pushed into doing something they don’t want to do. INTPs are also great at accepting other peoples boundaries, and will try not to push too hard when they realize someone wants to be left alone. In some cases though, INTPs may not be aware that someone is not interested in hearing their advice. In these situations INTPs may struggle with seeing the boundaries that are there, but in many cases they are aware of them. They understand the need for privacy, and they value this very much. On occasion though, INTPs will attempt to poke at people just to figure out what their boundaries actually are.
ENTPs understand how to set boundaries with the things that are important to them. They will be capable of telling people “no”, and dislike when people try to push them to do anything. ENTPs do not like to be manipulated or forced, and will often become extremely frustrated with people who attempt to do this to them. ENTPs know where to set boundaries in their lives, which makes them very independent people. They might cross lines on occasion, in order to learn what their own limitations actually are. People might become frustrated with ENTPs who sometimes don’t respect their own boundaries. It is important to be very clear with an ENTP exactly what your personal boundaries are.
INTJs are very good at setting boundaries, and are also very respectful of other peoples boundaries. INTJs do not allow other people to push them around and will be perfectly capable of turning them down in most situations. They know what they are comfortable with and will not allow other people to dictate their choices. INTJs also understand and respect other peoples personal boundaries, and will not cross those lines purely out of respect. They understand that they dislike when other people do not respect their boundaries, so they will certainly be capable of returning that favor.
ENTJs are often very pushy individuals, but they understand the need for boundaries. They will often set their own personal boundaries and make those very clear to others. They will make sure that everyone knows their own guidelines and what they expect from them. ENTJs may attempt to push people past their comfort zone, but will respect the boundaries that are most important to them. They are often good at finding their way around certain limitations, but will only do this if they find it is acceptable.
ISTJs are definitely very understanding of boundaries, and are considered rule following individuals. If other people set certain limitations for the ISTJ, they will be perfectly capable of respecting those. They also are good at setting their own personal boundaries, and will not allow people to push them around. They might struggle with certain work boundaries though, and will be the person to take on the tasks that others are incapable of accomplishing.
ESTJs are often rule following individuals, who understand the importance of setting boundaries. In some cases though they might not seeing the logical reasoning behind certain limitations, so they might push past them. If someone the ESTJ is close to isn’t doing something efficiently, they will often attempt to push them rather hard to get it done. This may be seen as crossing certain lines that people are not comfortable with, but the ESTJ will often not see it that way.
ISFJs may struggle with setting certain boundaries, especially with the people they care about. They have a hard time turning down people they love, and will do anything to make them happy. In some cases this causes the ISFJ to be taken advantage of by people in their lives. They will often go above and beyond to make others happy, whether it be at home or at work. It is important for them to learn to set certain boundaries, for their own mental health and happiness.
ESFJs are not the best with personal boundaries and may struggle when it comes to saying “no” to others. Their loved ones can often push them into doing anything for them, with little to no limitations. ESFJs devote themselves to pleasing others, and might become pushovers for the people they love. This can cause them to have a burnout, and might become a bit frustrated with the people around them who do not appreciate them fully. They definitely try to respect the boundaries of others, but might have a hard time with this as well.
ISTPs are excellent at setting personal boundaries, and will not bend because people attempt to push them around. They are aware of what they are comfortable with, and will make it very clear to those around them. ISTPs are also great at respecting other peoples boundaries, and will not attempt to push them in any way. They simply want to be respected and will give that same respect in return to others.
ESTPs are good at setting boundaries when it comes to strangers, but might struggle when it comes to the people they care about. They truly want to be liked, and might have a hard time saying “no” to their loved ones. People can often push ESTPs to do things they are not comfortable with, simply because they want to make those individuals happy. They also struggle with understanding other peoples boundaries, and might cross lines that frustrate others.
ISFPs are very internal and independent individuals, but they might struggle with certain boundaries. If they care about someone they do want to please them, which might cause them to give in and forget about their own boundaries. They want to respect the boundaries of others, and want that same respect in return. ISFPs are very caring by nature, but if they are pushed too far they will often snap on the people who are doing the pushing.
ESFPs are often unaware of the boundaries set by others, so they might accidentally cross them. They also are sometimes unaware of what their own personal boundaries should be, and will give far too much to the people they care about. They want to be liked, and because of this ESFPs might be completely clueless about the existence of boundaries at all.