INFP Manipulation: How INFPs Deal With Manipulation and Coercion

Everyone is capable of manipulating others, some are just more prone to this behavior than others. Being a manipulative person is rarely tied to someone’s personality type, but the ways in which someone can manipulate often is. While manipulation is not going to be more common in certain types, each personality type has their own methods of trying to adjust a situation so that they can get the results they want. It can help to understand these methods in a more personal way, so that we can be more conscious of someone’s intentions and actions. It is also important to understand how each personality type handles feeling a sense of manipulation from others, as some will be much less forgiving when this happens to them.

INFPs, like all types, are certainly capable of manipulation and they have their own methods of doing this. A healthy INFP is more likely to employ less harmful or intense means of coercion in hopes of getting what they want, whereas a less mature INFP is capable of more intense ways of doing this. For a well-adjusted INFP their inner morals are a strong part of who they are and how they respond to the world around them, because of this they do often try to avoid consciously manipulating people or going too far with this. What they do on a more subconscious level, however, can be a bit different. 

The Manipulative INFP

While a more manipulative INFP might still have a sense of morals and want to be sure they don’t cross certain lines, that isn’t always the case. The immature INFP can find themselves wanting to employ different methods so that they can get what they want from those around them. In some cases this comes from feeling insecure and just wanting to feel loved by the people close to them. It is often a product of the INFP who has endured being around manipulative people and has become a bit jaded when it comes to this behavior. 

Subtle Manipulation

Not all manipulation is as obvious or life changing, in some cases it is about the little things the INFP can do in order to get their way. For example if the INFP does not want to do something, they are great at procrastinating and ignoring the complaints until someone else steps in and takes care of it. Things like cleaning the house or doing the dishes, the INFP might just find themselves ignoring it so long that other people cannot stand it any longer and so they tend to the issue themselves. While others might not be as capable of ignoring things this way, INFPs have such rich inner minds that they can find themselves blocking things out fairly easily. They can find more subtle ways of getting people to do certain things, by simply putting it off or behaving as if they need help.

Guilt Manipulation

Guilt manipulation can be one of the more overwhelming tactics of the INFP, since they can use this in big or small ways. Sometimes it is more subtle like making someone feel sorry for them so they can get their way, but other times it is more focused on making the other person feel guilty about their actions. When the INFP does this in less serious ways it really isn’t that noticeable, they simply use their own feelings to make someone else want to help them and be close to them. This doesn’t make the other person feel a sense of personal shame, it just makes them want to be there for the INFP and find a way to ease their sadness. They can do this over little things like wanting someone to run errands for them or just spend some time with the INFP.

When this becomes more intense is when the INFP employs this tactic by making the other person feel guilty or bad about their actions. INFPs have strong inner morals and emotions and they can certainly use those things to manipulate someone into feeling or behaving a certain way. They will often know the right words to say in order to make the other person feel sincerely guilty of their own actions and want to make things right for the INFP. Since INFPs are so connected to their own emotions and sense of morals, it can make it much easier for them to use this as a means of connecting with someone else and even manipulating them. Emotional manipulation can go from something small to something more serious, which makes the other individual feel like they are actually a bad person. This can certainly be something which goes a bit too far with the more unhealthy INFP, and they might not even realize that they are doing this. The way to improve for the more manipulative INFP, is simply to focus on themselves and understanding their own motivations. The less they are aware of their actions, the easier it is for the INFP to continue on this path.

Dealing With Manipulation

When the INFP is younger this is when they can be more of a target for manipulative people. Their big and warm hearts makes them an easy target, since they are so open and caring towards others. Even though they might get a natural sense of when someone is being manipulative, the younger INFP can often go against their own judgements because they want to believe in people. Their ability to see the potential in others can cause them to look past the red flags, and this can lead to the INFP getting manipulated and ultimately getting their heartbroken. This can also be a reason for the INFP to end up a bit jaded and more likely to be manipulative themselves. They open their hearts to people and when this trust is betrayed it can leave a mark for the INFP. They care so much about making connections and really need to feel loved by those around them. This desire for love can certainly get them hurt and manipulated by others, but that doesn’t mean they should give up on their search to find the right people. Their loving and kind nature is something which will be cherished by the right friends and loved ones.