Written By Kirsten Moodie
Here’s How Each Personality Type Deals with Codependency
While some people cherish their independence, there are others who end up relying on their partners quite a bit. Here is how each personality type deals with codependency in their relationships.
INFJs definitely enjoy having their independence in life, and don’t want to infringe on someone else’s sense of space. When it comes to being codependent INFJs often try to do their best to avoid letting this happen. Unfortunately when the INFJ does find someone they can connect with who truly understands them, they struggle to avoid feeling overly attached to them. It is so rare and special for the INFJ to find someone who understands and appreciates them, so they often want to have this person around as much as possible. The INFJ isn’t intending to smother this person, they simply become connected to them in a deep and meaningful way. It is something that often goes both ways, and their friend or partner will easily fall into this codependent pattern.
ENFJs are generally people who prefer to get things done all on their own, which helps them work to avoid become codependent. ENFJs can struggle with this though, especially when they find someone they feel a deep connection to. They do not intend to become overly attached, they simply do not let people in easily. Once the ENFJ does become bonded with another person, they want to feel connected to them all of the time. They can depend on this person for advice, especially when it comes to major life choices. It becomes easy for people to attach to the ENFJ in return, simply because they are reliable and loving people.
INFPs are naturally independent people, but that is only until they find someone they can connect to. When the INFP does become close to another person, they have a hard time feeling separated from them. They often want to be an integral part of that person’s life, and will work to nurture that bond. INFPs definitely enjoy having their space, but can become a bit codependent when they find someone special who they can connect with. They simply want to feel like they are just as important to their loved one, and will enjoy sharing that connection with them.
ENFPs are generally not codependent people, and truly prefer to have their own independence. Even when the ENFP develops a deep connection with someone, they want there to be space in the relationship. ENFPs will often check in with their romantic partner, just to let that person know they are thinking of them. They will find little ways to show their affection, and do want to receive this in return. ENFPs also want to feel like they have their own space though, and enjoy having certain things to themselves.
INTJs are very independent people, who prefer to have plenty of space to themselves. INTJs do not want to feel like their relationships are too invasive, and still prefer to keep some mystery between them. They do believe in deep connections, and want to be able to share important things with their loved ones. INTJs simply believe that having a certain level of independence is important, and don’t want to feel like their privacy has been overly invaded. Most INTJs will struggle if they have a partner who is codependent, and want to feel like the person they are with can take care of themselves.
ENTJs are definitely independent people who prefer to have their space. When the ENTJ finds that someone is becoming rather codependent, they can struggle with this situation. If they care for someone deeply ENTJs do not like to simply end relationships. They prefer to follow through with their commitments, but will certainly walk away if things aren’t moving in the right direction. They will often attempt to work on the situation, and will try to find ways to gain space between them and their partner. ENTJs enjoy feeling connected to someone, they simply believe that there should be a certain level of space in any relationship.
INTPs are extremely independent people, who truly enjoy having plenty of space. They often struggle with relationships because people invade their need for time alone. INTPs enjoy feeling connected to someone they care for, they simply do not see the need for constant communication. INTPs can find themselves feeling distant if someone is far too codependent, and will slowly begin to push that person away. They will likely feel overwhelmed and a bit smothered when their loved ones begin to crave their attention too much. INTPs do not want the pressure of having someone else dependent on them, and strives more for a separate togetherness.
ENTPs are very independent people, who enjoy having their time to themselves. They dislike feeling as though someone is dictating their choices and trying to boss them around. ENTPs want freedom to do whatever they please, without feeling guilt from someone else. They do enjoy feeling close to someone, and can be rather romantic people when it feels right. ENTPs simply enjoy having a certain level of independence, and actually attracted to people who can stand on their own two feet. If the ENTP is constantly having to pick someone up, or help them make decisions in life, they will feel themselves feeling detached from that relationship.
ISTJs enjoy having a sense of independence in their lives, and want to be able to get things done without much assistance. Naturally ISTJs enjoy being capable people, who can provide for others. This does have a tendency to land them in codependent relationships though, since people are drawn to their strength. ISTJs have a hard time backing out once they have made a commitment, and might end up connecting with people who become rather dependent on them. In most cases they will be more intrigued by people who enjoy their independence, but sometimes the ISTJ can find ways to deal with a codependent partner.
ESTJs are very strong willed people, who enjoy being able to get things done. They have a natural drive to push forward in life, and also care for their loved ones. ESTJs have a strength and a will to provide for others, which often causes them to end up with people who depend on them very much. ESTJs do not mind being in somewhat codependent relationships at first, but over the years it can wear on them. They don’t mind feeling close to someone or being the one who is stronger, they simply need to have a certain level of space to breathe.
ISFJs work very hard to care and provide for their loved ones, and have a natural desire to feel needed by others. The fact that ISFJs are such caring souls, often causes them to end up in codependent relationships. When the ISFJ provides for their loved ones, they become rather important to them, this ends up developing codependent behaviors. Their need to feel needed creates a bond that is founded on this, and results in people feeling a bit lost without the ISFJ in their life. The ISFJ also loses a sense of purpose when they do not have these people around, causing them to share that dependency.
ESFJs have a desire to feel loved and needed, which can sometimes push them into codependent relationships. The fact that ESFJs are constantly trying to please others and care for their needs, causes some people to recognize this strength. People will be quickly drawn to their giving nature, and in many cases those people have codependent tendencies. ESFJs will not mind this at first, and might even find it easier to have relationships that are close in this way. If the ESFJ cares for someone very deeply then they often find it hard to be separated from them as well, making some of their relationships rather codependent.
ISTPs are naturally independent people, and dislike feeling as though people are trying to take away their freedom. ISTPs want to have plenty of space to make their own choices, and enjoy being able to explore new things. This often leaves the ISTP wanting to avoid relationships for a long time, simply because they do not want to be held back by someone. ISTPs will become very unhappy and feel smothered if they are in a relationship with someone who has become overly dependent on them. ISTPs enjoy their space, and want to have plenty of time to themselves.
It often surprises people that ESTPs can develop rather codependent tendencies. They have a strong desire to feel needed and important to the people in their lives, which can lead them to draw close to those people. ESTPs do enjoy a certain level of independence, especially when it comes to romantic relationships- but they can often end up becoming more depend on people they feel a friendship with. ESTPs simply do not want to be forgotten, and want to feel like they are truly important to their loved ones.
ISFPs have a strong sense of internal morals and self-awareness, which makes them want to have plenty of freedom to make their own choices. In most cases ISFPs prefer independence, and might find themselves ending relationships quickly with people who infringe upon their sense of freedom. ISFPs are often seen bouncing from one relationship to the next, oftentimes it is because that person is pushing them to commit too quickly. ISFPs enjoy romance and relationships, but they also enjoy having their own space.
ESFPs are often seen as independent and adventurous people. They definitely enjoy having the freedom and space to do their own thing. ESFPs will often begin life wanting to feel free, and enjoy being able to make their own choices. In most cases the ESFP will end a relationship if they feel like the other person is become too clingy towards the. Although, ESFPs enjoy their space, there are situations where their reckless behavior can cause them to end up in codependent relationships. The ESFP who makes a lot of mistakes in life, can sometimes end up needing someone to rely on in order to get through these hard times.