Enneagram Type 5 Flirting & Dating: How to Attract Enneagram Type Five

The Enneagram is a categorization of personality types based on how people perceive and respond to the world and information they gather, as well their own emotions. This describes 9 different enneagram or personality types, and each one possesses certain core beliefs which are what drives them. These beliefs drive each type and also can be limiting at times, which is why understanding them is so important. It isn’t meant to lock people into those weaknesses or limitations, instead it is meant to help them improve and find ways to maintain a sense of healthy balance in their lives. It also helps to gain a deeper understanding of what motivates the people around you, and helps to comprehend why they contradict themselves at times. Knowing the enneagram gives a clearer sense of these inner motivations and even fears.

Dating can be difficult at times, and so understanding your partner and how they communicate can be a great first step towards connecting better with them. While knowing someone’s enneagram cannot instantly make you closer or give you all of the answers, it can help you learn and understand their motivations a bit better. Knowing where someone is coming from can clarify certain aspects of your relationship and help you to communicate with them in ways they understand and connect to. Learning someone’s flirting and dating style can help avoid certain miscommunications, especially towards someone you truly want to grow closer to. 

Type 5 Values

The type 5 personality is driven by a desire to understand and make rational sense of the world around them. They often use information as a sort of shield, feeling better equipped to handle anything if they know about everything. The type 5 individual wants to learn about what makes things the way they are, diving in deep and taking information apart piece by piece. They are natural problem solvers, and they often do this because they value independence in their lives. They want to be someone who can take care of themselves and is viewed as highly capable. They are always wanting to learn and continue growing as best they can, never truly feeling sated with information. This can sometimes stem from an insecurity which makes fives wonder if they are truly capable of interacting in the real world and being successful within it. They often feel if they use information they can eventually learn enough that they can successfully use what they uncover in order to adapt and handle the world. They can become stuck so much inside of their minds that they struggle to really know how to interact. They become caught up in the safety and comfort of their own inner minds and inner worlds, not really wanting to leave this cocoon. They might have the idea that eventually they will be more confident in their actions, so long as they take the time to really learn and understand things.Understanding these values which are common to fives, can help to understand them better and how to properly communicate with them in a relationship.

Type 5 Flirting Style

Fives are very focused on information and being well-equipped to handle things because of what they know and understand. Because of this they can become more focused on understanding someone, and so their flirting style can be hard for others to connect with. Instead of being flirtatious in the typical or expected manner, the type 5 is likely to seek out means of understanding the person they are interested in. They might start to question them, wanting to find ways to see what is beyond the surface. They want to know what makes this person tick, to figure out if they are really a good match for them. At times the Five might seem distant or like they aren’t truly showing interest, and so it isn’t always easy to read when they are trying to flirt with someone. They prefer to focus on information and understanding the facts, and that is much more natural and comfortable for them to work with.

Type 5 Attraction

Fives are often attracted to people who are capable of keeping them on their toes and challenging them in new ways. Someone who comes up with new ideas and theories which they can explore together. They are very drawn to people who are curious and enjoy learning new things and who can bring them along in this journey. They don’t like being told to hold back or contain their curious minds, instead they want to be free to learn and grow. Having a partner who helps challenge them in this way and continues to come up with new ideas is truly rewarding for them. They are drawn to partners who are open-minded, but who also value facts and uncovering the truth. Someone who allows them to be themselves, and who encourages them to explore the unique parts of who they are. FInding someone who is an intellectual match is sometimes challenging but important for them. When they meet someone who is intelligent and witty and who enjoys working on their personal growth, it is going to be instantly appealing for them.

Things to Avoid

For the type 5 individual it can be draining to be around someone who doesn’t give them space to think things through. Someone who is constantly attempting to pull out their emotions and force them to express their feelings, is going to be draining for them. They need space because having to constantly express those inner emotions is going to be emotionally exhausting. Trying to push them or force it out of them is definitely not a way to connect with your 5 partner or make them feel understood for who they are. Ignoring their needs and neglecting to appreciate this part of them is definitely something to avoid. They need a good listener and someone who is capable of giving them the space they need.


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