Written By Kirsten Moodie
Here’s How Much You Fear Abandonment, According to Your Personality Type
Most people have a fear of abandonment, even if it is in some small way. Here is how much you likely fear being abandoned, based on your personality type.
INFJs may not outwardly show their fears, but they often fear being abandoned by the people they love most. They often put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect, and feel inadequate if they aren’t. This can cause the INFJ to fear being alone, which can hold them back in many ways. They can become saddened by this idea, since all they truly want is to make lasting and sincere connections in life. While INFJs often fear abandonment, this is something they can overcome. In truth they are amazing and lovable people, who need to trust in their intuition to find the right companions.
ENFJs definitely fear abandonment, even if they try not to show this to others. They work hard to be lovable, and are always trying to make others happy. A part of the ENFJ does this because they hope that if they are needed, they won’t be abandoned. They truly just want to connect with their loved ones, and hate the idea of losing those people. ENFJs value the people in their lives, and while they would never abandon those people, they can fear being abandoned themselves.
INFPs are very internal people, who can be rather independent in their choices. While INFPs are perfectly fine being alone, they take the connections they do make very seriously. When they care for someone they certainly don’t want to lose them, which can make this a fear of theirs. INFPs can be somewhat hard on themselves, and will struggle with the idea of not being good enough. While they can survive the loss, INFPs want to hold onto their real connections forever. They hope to bond with people who will stick around when things get difficult.
ENFPs can be very independent people, who often counteract their fear of abandonment by seeking refuge in themselves. It can be challenging for them to trust people fully, especially as the ENFP gets older and encountered heartbreak. They do want to make lasting connections, but at the same time they want to be capable of standing on their own in case things go wrong. ENFPs want to maintain a sense of independence in order to remain strong if they do suffer a loss. While ENFPs can be fearful of abandonment, they are capable of withstanding it.
INTJs are focused on building up their knowledge and reaching a deeper understanding of the world around them. While they don’t find themselves as obsessed with making connections, INTJs do value the sincere connections that they make. Deep down INTJs might have a fear of abandonment when they truly care for someone, which is expressed in their desire to be seen as intelligent and valuable when it comes to their knowledge. While INTJs might not like the idea of being abandoned, they can certainly handle being alone.
ENTJs definitely dislike the idea of abandonment, since they value loyalty in their relationships. ENTJs only want to connect with people who they can trust to be there no matter what. They stand by their loved ones through thick and thin, and simply want the same in return. ENTJs work hard to care for the people they love, and are always pushing themselves to become better for them. While they are more than capable of being alone, they don’t take their relationships lightly. The idea of being abandoned is definitely painful for the ENTJ, and is a major betrayal.
INTPs are independent people, who are more than comfortable being alone. While the INTP enjoys being on their own, they do value the connections they make. INTPs do not let people into their lives lightly, and want to be sure they can trust those individuals. Being abandoned is an unpleasant thought for the INTP, but they often fear that it is very possible. They can have a hard time trusting people completely, and understand that most people can be a bit flighty when it comes to their feelings. INTPs might always have a fear in the back of their minds that their loved ones will abandon them, which can ultimately be the thing that pushes people away.
ENTPs are very independent people, who live most of their lives bouncing from one thing to the next. While they do value their relationships very much, they sometimes have a hard time trusting people completely. ENTPs understand that emotions can be somewhat fleeting, and might always feel that abandonment is possible. They often build their self-confidence based on their own actions, and not the love they receive from others. While abandonment would certainly cause the ENTP great pain, they are more than capable of pushing through it.
ISTJs definitely fear the idea of being abandoned by their loved ones, since they strive to care for them. ISTJs are independent people who can certainly handle life on their own, but at the same time their family means very much to them. They are always working hard to be the best they can for those closest to them, and want to feel like they can trust them. ISTJs are dependable people who would never abandon others, which is why loyalty means so much to them.
While it might not be evident, ESTJs actually have a pretty big fear of abandonment. They are independent people, who often have a hard time expressing their emotions to others. ESTJs actually care deeply for their loved ones, and are always working hard to provide for them. When the ESTJ cares for someone, it is not something they take lightly. They will stand by their loved ones through thick and thin, and simply want to receive this loyalty in return.
ISFJs definitely have a fear of abandonment, and simply want to keep their loved ones close. ISFJs care deeply for others, and are always working hard to maintain their happiness. They don’t want to feel like a burden on others, and try hard to make it easy for maintain their relationships. ISFJs do fear being abandoned by their family members, and truly want to feel like they are loved and valued. ISFJs try hard to make others happy, and are often motivated by this desire.
ESFJs definitely struggle when it comes to their fear of abandonment, and try hard to overcome this constantly. ESFJs are motivated by the people they love, and are always striving to make them happy. A big reason ESFJs are always pushing for perfection in themselves, is because they fear abandonment. They simply want to share their lives with others, and are afraid that people will leave if they are not always perfect. ESFJs work hard to make others happy, and really just want loyalty in return.
ISTPs are very independent people, who aren’t often afraid of abandonment. They don’t mind being alone most of the time, and understand that not every relationship is meant to last. They can handle being abandoned if someone simply doesn’t want to be in their life anymore. ISTPs are often aware that other connections will come along, and the right ones will last. They are more than capable of keeping themselves happy, and don’t like to be held down much anyways.
ESTPs are logical and independent people, but deep down they do often fear abandonment. ESTPs strive to be seen as valuable and are always trying to impress their loved ones. They do not like the idea of being along, and simply want connections that will last. ESTPs can seem a bit flighty though, which is often what scares others away. They sometimes bounce around from relationship to relationship, which can sometimes be a defense mechanism.
ISFPs definitely don’t want to be abandoned by their loved ones, but at the same time they are independent people. They aren’t afraid of being alone, they just want to make connections that are sincere. ISFPs can sometimes be seen as flighty though, bouncing from relationship to relationship. This is often because the ISFP is searching for something that is real, since they don’t want to just settle for the first person that enters their lives.
ESFPs definitely do not like the idea of being abandoned, which is often why they strive to be entertaining to others. ESFPs just want to feel loved by others, and want to be valued for who they are. They are constantly afraid of being ignored or abandoned, and try hard to maintain their relationships. ESFPs can become fearful of this for what seems like no reason at all, which can sometimes push their loved ones away.