ENFJ Broken Trust: Dealing with Trust Issues as an ENFJ

Having trust betrayed can be a truly painful experience, since it isn’t always easy to give for some people. Trusting in someone means believing in their sincerity and allowing yourself to open up to the change of being hurt by them. Having someone you care for and love break that trust, can be rather detrimental to the relationship. For some people it is possible to rebuild, for others it is almost a given that they will not be able to repair a relationship when the trust has been broken. This can sometimes be connected to personality types, as some types have a harder time really trusting people and being vulnerable around them. Understanding how each type responds to trusting others and having that betrayed, can help to understand them better and how to communicate with them as well.

When it comes to trusting people the ENFJ can struggle to fully let others in. They can appear rather open and trusting, since they are outgoing and charismatic people. They can connect with others and are good at getting people to open up, when it comes opening up themselves this can take some time. They don’t often struggle with trust quite as much as INFJs do, but they do take some time before they feel completely comfortable with someone. ENFJs do trust easier than some other types, but can struggle when it comes to fully being vulnerable and showing all of their imperfections. For the ENFJ the idea of being rejected can be the hardest part, as they want to always be strong and something close to perfect for the ones they love most.

ENFJ Trust Issues

ENFJs can have a hard time feeling completely vulnerable with someone, but this comes more from an internal fear of not being good enough. They want to always appear strong in front of the people they love, but that doesn’t mean they don’t trust that person to some extent. ENFJs give so much of themselves to the people they love, and will go out of their way to make them happy. The ENFJ will trust these people to be there for them and remain close, but might struggle to really peel back those final layers. They do struggle with this at times, but they do their best to try and overcome it for the right people. ENFJs don’t want to appear to have trust issues or feel like their loved ones haven’t fully been able to connect with them. They care about feeling a true and close bond with the people in their lives, and don’t want those loved ones to feel distant or alienated. ENFJs do their best to share themselves when this is wanted or sought after, they just might struggle to open up if it isn’t something which is requested of them. They don’t like feeling as if they are a burden or putting too much on others, and so they might not share too many personal things without being asked. They do however, want to please the people they love, and so if someone wants to know more the ENFJ will often do their best to open up and be more trusting. For them it is about wanting to please others, but they can be fearful of how they will be judged if they open up too much. ENFJs just want to feel close to their loved ones, but they can be perfectionists. Constantly wanting to be perfect for those around them, can make it hard to really trust and share parts of themselves which people might not like as much.

ENFJ & Broken Trust

ENFJs can struggle when their trust has been broken, but might continue to try and make amends. They don’t like disconnecting when they care about someone and it can take a while before they feel the need to move on from that person. ENFJs will give so many chances and opportunities for someone to change and mend the trust which has been damaged, before they feel like they have to let go completely. They do however, shut people out when they realize that person is never going to change and will continue to take advantage of their kindness. When the ENFJ feels like the trust has been damaged, they can search for ways to make it right and move on, so long as the other person is willing to put forth the effort needed in order to do so. When the trust seems to be broken beyond repair, this often means someone has gone above and beyond in order to harm or disrespect the ENFJ. When they reach this point they are capable of removing this person from their life completely, and will not want to continue connecting with them even on a smaller scale. 

Mending Trust Issues

For the ENFJ one of the best ways to overcome trust issues, is to learn more about themselves and their own boundaries. They spend so much time tending to the needs of their loved ones, and because of this they might neglect their own needs and desires. The less they know about themselves and their inner feelings, the less comfortable they are opening up and being totally vulnerable with someone else. This can cause the ENFJ to be hesitant when it comes to trusting someone, since they don’t really know how to fully open up and do this. Taking time to understand themselves better, will help the ENFJ feel more at ease trusting others as well. They want to be able to get closer to the ones they love, and this is something which actually help them do this. Another important thing for the ENFJ is to really assess the people they let into their lives, and to recognize when someone is able to focus on their needs as well. Since they are such giving people it can be hard for them to set boundaries, but this is important in finding the right people to trust and rely on.