INTP Post-Breakup: Dealing With The End of a Relationship

Enduring heartbreak is something most everyone has to go through at some point in our lives. While it is a part of life and a very common human experience, that doesn’t make it any easier to get through it. Each person has their own process and needs to go through their breakup in certain ways in order to move on and really cope with what is going on inside of them. It is important to understand ourselves better so that we can figure out the best way to heal from heartbreak. 

When it comes to breakups INTPs often appear stoic on the outside, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t struggle with it. They feel things deeply they just don’t know how to express these emotions outwardly. When they cared for someone and felt a strong connection with that person, the breakup can actually be very difficult for them. INTPs do struggle to process these emotions and so it can be hard for them to truly move on in their hearts. They might be capable of moving on in the practical sense, but that doesn’t change how they are feeling.

How They Cope

INTPs often find themselves analyzing the situation for long periods of time, almost to the point of exhaustion. They have a tendency to push others away and try to focus on what’s going on inside of their own minds. When they are going through a harsh breakup the INTP wants to be alone and alienate themselves from others for a while. They don’t want to deal with people asking them to open up and share their feelings and so they try to avoid this. The INTPs go to response is to analyze and try to figure out exactly what went wrong to make things end. They might blame themselves and try to figure out what they could have done better in the relationship.

INTPs do sometimes try to avoid their feelings about the breakup, wanting to find other things to bury themselves in. They don’t naturally find it easy to focus on their emotions and dive into those feelings in order to heal the proper way. For the INTP sometimes it seems easier to ignore those emotions and just focus on doing things which can distract them from what is going on inside. For the INTP really diving into their hearts to handle the breakup in a healthy way, is something which is challenging and even a bit draining for them. So for them sometimes just ignore the situation and searching for distractions to keep them busy, is the more natural way to cope. 

Letting Go

INTPs seem like they let go of things easily, in truth they do hold onto their emotions more than people realize. The fact that they don’t naturally dive into what they are feeling and instead try to bury those emotions, is exactly what causes the INTP to struggle when it comes to letting go for real. They might appear as if they have moved on quickly, but deep down they likely haven’t. This is why it is so important for them to process their feelings and open up to new ways of healing after a breakup. Without taking these proper steps the INTP will struggle to truly let go and move on after a breakup from someone they truly cared for.

Best Ways to Heal

While it might not be natural for the INTP, diving into their emotions is necessary if they want to heal properly. They need to take time alone to really process what is going on, and allow themselves to feel everything without denying those emotions. Whether this means spending time crying, and letting it all out, or just processing those emotions by writing them down. INTPs can struggle with understanding emotions and so it is important for them to find tools to help in these situations. Sometimes writing down exactly how they are feeling can help them to really process and absorb those emotions without confusion. It might seem a bit foolish at first and makes them feel uncomfortable, but it can really be helpful. The great thing is that they don’t have to share what they are writing with anyone, as the intent is simply to help them understand their own thoughts and feelings about the breakup.

It is important for the INTP not to blame themselves for the breakup, or feel angry that they allowed someone close enough to hurt them. They can be guarded people and so they often feel a sense of shame for even letting someone close and trusting in them in this way. This is part of being human, and there is nothing wrong or shameful in opening up your heart to someone else. Once they have spent time diving into these emotions and give themselves a chance to accept them, the INTP can start to move on from the breakup and the heartache. While isolation can be good at first, eventually the INTP can benefit from finding a friend to vent to and share their experiences with. Making connections and finding things to distract themselves with, is only useful after they have already spent time accepting and processing their emotions. It is important to take this step because INTPs can have a tendency to dwell and overanalyze and this can make the situation feel worse.

While INTPs might not be the most outwardly emotional people, they still experience feelings just like everyone else. They just don’t know how to express these inner feelings, and struggle to find ways to understand them. Since they can become so stuck inside of their own minds, there is a point where getting out and exploring the world around them can actually be very helpful. The INTP can benefit from finding some sort of physical activity to keep them focused on, and even helps them to break away from this pattern of analyzing. Physical activities will help them focus more on the present which can be challenging for the INTP at first. Instead of looking at the past situations or obsessing over the future, the INTP will benefit from just living in the present for a while.

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