Written By Kirsten Moodie
Here’s the Biggest Deal Breakers for Each Personality Type
We all have certain things we find completely unbearable, we also have certain qualities we simply do not want in a partner. These deal breakers are traits that drive us absolutely an insane, and do not align with our morals and beliefs. Here are the biggest deal breakers for each personality type when it comes to relationships.
INFJs truly cannot remain in a relationship of any kind with someone who continues to lie to them and use them. They understand that no one is perfect, and can often continue to forgive many innocent mistakes. While INFJs can certainly forgive, they have a line that once crossed means they will completely shut that person out of their lives. INFJs have a caring nature but they are not weak people, and they have certain limits to how much they will take from one person. Their deal breaker is someone who continues to lie and abuse their relationship, and will lead to a complete door slam.
ENFJs biggest deal breaker in a relationship is someone who is cruel and self-centered. If someone is constantly unkind towards others the ENFJ will take this as a completely repulsive quality. They want to be around people who share their morals, and their desire to see others happy. Someone who continues to cause pain is not a person the ENFJ wants in their lives. They are always trying to make other people happy and don’t want to be around people who try to take that away from them somehow.
The biggest deal breaker for INFPs is someone who appears completely immoral. Their own morals are very important to them, and they want to be around people who share positive values. INFPs don’t expect people to share the exact same moral code as them, they simply want them to have values that show they are a good person who cares for the well-being of others. INFPs can forgive people’s mistakes, and understand that no one is perfect, they just don’t want people who are cruel and immoral.
For ENFPs one of the all-time most intolerable qualities in a relationship, is someone who is selfish and controlling. If someone attempts to hold the ENFP back and doesn’t allow them to experience life, they will feel smothered and over time they will resent this. ENFPs need to spread their wings and have someone who believes in them and their abilities. Someone who puts the ENFP does for trying new things, is certainly not someone they want in their lives.
INTJs cannot stand people who are loud or attempt to place demands on them. They need space and a certain amount of peace in their relationship, and these are things they value very much. INTJs do value honesty, but they don’t actually expect their partners to share every tiny personal detail with them. INTJs just want someone who can respect them, and if that respect is broken they have no interest in maintaining a relationship. Someone who continues to place high demands on the INTJ, is someone who does not respect them or care for their needs and this is not something they will tolerate.
For ENTJs someone who is disloyal is the absolute worst quality and they simply will not tolerate it. They can forgive many things and will give to their loved ones, they simply want loyalty in return. If someone is incapable of being loyal and sincere, the ENTJ will remove them from their lives. They need people who they can depend on, even when times become a bit rough. For ENTJs there is no greater betrayal than a person who cannot remain loyal to their relationship, and will ultimately hurt them very much.
One of the biggest struggles for an INTP is being around someone who tries to judge or control them. The INTP needs space and freedom to be themselves, without feeling their partner trying to hold them back. INTPs can often feel smothered even if the person they are with isn’t intending to do this, so space is a must for them. It is certainly a deal breaker if they are around someone who is inconsistent and doesn’t want an equal relationship. They need things to be equal, and they require someone who gives them freedom.
For ENTPs the biggest deal breaker in a relationship is someone who smothers them or tries to remove their freedom. They need to feel constantly free to do their own thing and to always be exploring the possibilities around them. ENTPs enjoy being able to push the limits, since this helps them feel like they can really learn more about something. If their partner tries to tie them down or smother the ENTP, they will instantly feel a need to escape.
ISTJs need someone who is grounded, and who is capable of being responsible. While ISTJs are often responsible enough for everyone, they cannot maintain a relationship with someone who completely disrespects that. They just want to know that their partner is going to be there for them, and will remain honest and loyal. They are perfectly capable of allowing their loved ones freedom and space, since they enjoy having this themselves. The ISTJ just want to know that they are constantly having to impress their partner in order to keep them around.
ESTJs have a hard time being around people who are not efficient or hardworking. Laziness is a major deal breaker for the ESTJ, even though they don’t mind taking care of people. They want someone who at least puts forth an effort and who wants to do their best. ESTJs also have a hard time with people who lie to them and break their trust. They want to be around people who are dependable and loyal, and not those who lack respect for their constant efforts.
ISFJs are patient people, who are always trying to ensure the happiness of their loved ones. Someone who is constantly insensitive or cruel towards others, is a major deal breaker for ISFJs. They need people who are compassionate, and who have a sense of morals. ISFJs truly cannot be around people who are inappropriate and lack a sense of consideration. ISFJs dislike feeling embarrassed in public settings, and someone who cannot respect that sense of privacy is not acceptable for them.
For ESFJs one of the absolute biggest deal breakers is someone who seems unsure or fails to completely commit. The ESFJ will go above and beyond for the people they love, and simply wants to feel a sense of appreciation. They will do whatever it takes to make others happy, and will not give up on their loved ones. ESFJs can forgive a great many mistakes, they simply want to feel loyalty and appreciation from the people in their lives. For ESFJs someone who constantly has one foot out the door, is simply not acceptable.
ISTPs certainly do not enjoy feeling controlled, or being around someone who is completely willfully ignorant. Someone who refuses to look at the facts, is both frustrating and pointless for the ISTP. They don’t want to be around someone who refuses to listen and who continues to possess a closed mind. ISTPs need to also feel free to do their own thing, and needs space in their relationships.
For ESTPs one of the biggest deal breakers is someone who seeks to keep them controlled. They need to be able to explore new things, and don’t want to feel constantly smothered. ESTPs are often drawn to people who are a bit aloof, for this very reason. They don’t want someone who constantly showers them in affection, and will quickly feel exhausted and smothered by this sort of behavior. ESTPs need space and freedom, and want to always be exploring new adventures.
ISFPs need to feel free to be themselves and to express that, and someone who tries to hold them back is not acceptable to them. They need to feel accepted and loved for who they are, and don’t want to have to pretend for the sake of someone else. ISFPs will become miserable if they are not truly appreciated for even the odd qualities that they possess. They refuse to be with someone who tries to change them, or who does not respect their ideals.
For ESFPs the biggest deal breaker is someone who is unkind and ignores or neglects them. ESFPs need affection from their loved ones, and truly hate feeling ignored. They need to feel accepted for who they are, without someone who constantly puts them down for it. ESFPs just want life to be something they can cherish, without always focusing on the negativity around them. They aren’t clueless to the ways of the world, they just choose to look on the brighter side of things. Someone who constantly brings them down, is someone the ESFP cannot tolerate.