INFJ In Bed: What the INFJs Sexual Energy is Like

Sex and sexuality are certainly important parts of being human for most people, and so it is something which can help us understand one another better as well. Whether this be exploring your own sexual desires or understanding your partner on a deeper level, there are certain things which each personality type is more likely to connect with or feel. For some people the idea of casual sex is often unnerving and unpleasant, while for others it can be a great way of self-exploration. Sometimes these specific wants or behaviors can be connected to personality type, while there are also many aspects which aren’t.

INFJs are very passionate and giving people, but they are also truly complex. To understand how the INFJ feels about sex, it often requires knowing them on a much more personal and intimate level. There are certainly some traits and behaviors which are attached to the INFJ when it comes to sex, but that doesn’t mean they cannot vary wildly. They are one of the most complex personality types, in the sense that they can often contradict themselves in how they behave. When looking deeper these contradicting feelings and behaviors serve a purpose and occur for valid reason, but it can make them difficult to peg as far as how they will behave with or feel about sex.

INFJ Sexual Energy

INFJs often have a very intense energy to begin with, and this can certainly translate into sex. They often take time to really trust people and let them in, and this is the same when it comes to their sex life. For the INFJ it is difficult to really feel comfortable or safe with people and so it takes time for them to reach this point. They need to be with someone who makes them feel comfortable, or else sex feels like a chore for them. Being that INFJs are such giving people, this is something which is very tied to how they are sexually. They want to please the ones they love, and will go to great lengths in order to do this. This is another reason why they only want to sexually be with someone they trust fully, since they will naturally go above and beyond for them. When the INFJ is close to someone they want to please them and experience a lot of joy from seeing them happy. When it comes to sex they will often do whatever they can in order to satisfy their needs and desires. 

INFJs are also very passionate people who often have their own sexual desires and fantasies. They might struggle to really open up and share these things with someone, and so it takes some time. They need a partner who is willing to peel back these many layers and who is also capable of giving them the patience they need. They truly want someone who they can be themselves with, someone they can completely bare their soul to. For the INFJ this includes opening up about their sexual desires and feelings, but it takes a person who makes them feel safe in this way. They have likely met people who pressured them or didn’t make them feel truly content with themselves, and this is something which can really close the INFJ up. It might make them appear like they aren’t a sexual person, when in reality it is just that they don’t trust easily.

INFJ Sexual Intimacy

For the INFJ to truly enjoy their sexual experience there definitely has to be a certain level of intimacy involved. Without this type of connection and closeness, sex just feels like a meaningless chore to them. It might feel like something they are obligated to in order to fit in, or in order to give their partner what they want. In reality the INFJ is likely more sexual than even they realize, they are just missing the key element of intimacy in their sex life. Without feeling truly connected to someone the INFJ will feel detached and the experience likely won’t have the same sense of pleasure and excitement for them. They need to feel like they are connecting with someone on a deeper level, and like the sex isn’t just about the end result but rather about the closeness.

The flipside of this is that INFJs can be a bit fearful or nervous about sexual intimacy with someone else. While they crave feeling close and connected, the idea of opening up to someone is a bit unnerving. They can be afraid of getting hurt or of what it means to completely let go with another person, and so they might be hesitant. They can seem like they are closed off to really connecting, but this is something INFJs crave immensely. Some INFJs who have had bad experiences in the past might struggle with sexual intimacy, but it just means they need someone who is patient and can help them work through this.

INFJ & Casual Sex

Casual sex is rarely fulfilling or rewarding for the INFJ, even if they do participate in this at once point or another. They might convince themselves it is something they can deal with, but that doesn’t mean they sincerely enjoy it. INFJs might find themselves diving into casual sex when they are in their shadow, or find themselves focusing strongly on their weaker functions. When they aren’t themselves in this mode they seek out things which feel good in the moment, but likely don’t really give them a sense of personal reward or lasting gratification. For the INFJ having some sort of connection is what truly matters, and so casual sex is unlikely to give them a sense of joy or comfort. They need to feel like there is more to their sex lives than just the end result, and so sex without some sort intimacy or closeness is going to leave them feeling worse than before.